i would look so hot half dead on a floor
Normal guy voice . I need to watch him lose consciousness in a vulnerable position
the template would later branch out to any negative word, but the original naming scheme for sith lords was darth + a negative word starting with 'in', with the front cut off. e.g. Darth (In)vader, Darth (In)sidious, etc. in a return to tradition, my star wars property centres the fearsome Darth Cestuous
Was listening to the Dungeon Meshi opening a normal amount and had the urge to draw Friederick and his one (1) party Member, Elxian again ( @revoleotion ).
[ID: a digital drawing of Friederick and Elxian, two OCs. Friederick is a gnome with light skin and brown hair in a bun, wearing sailors clothing and is holding a harpoon. Elm's fire is hovering over his head. Elxian, a pale elf with blue hair is standing behind him with his eyes closed and singing. She's wearing a simple blue top and a golden pearl necklace. /End ID]
i think the near-extinction of people making fun, deep and/or unique interactive text-based browser games, projects and stories is catastrophic to the internet. i'm talking pre-itch.io era, nothing against it.
there are a lot of fun ones listed here and here but for the most part, they were made years ago and are now a dying breed. i get why. there's no money in it. factoring in the cost of web hosting and servers, it probably costs money. it's just sad that it's a dying art form.
anyway, here's some of my favorite browser-based interactive projects and games, if you're into that kind of thing. 90% of them are on the lists that i linked above.
A Better World - create an alternate history timeline
Alter Ego - abandonware birth-to-death life simulator game
Seedship - text-based game about colonizing a new planet
Sandboxels or ThisIsSand - free-falling sand physics games
Little Alchemy 2 - combine various elements to make new ones
Infinite Craft - kind of the same as Little Alchemy
ZenGM - simulate sports
Tamajoji - browser-based tamagotchi
IFDB - interactive fiction database (text adventure games)
Written Realms - more text adventure games with a user interface
The Cafe & Diner - mystery game
The New Campaign Trail - US presidential campaign game
Money Simulator - simulate financial decisions
Genesis - text-based adventure/fantasy game
Level 13 - text-based science fiction adventure game
Miniconomy - player driven economy game
Checkbox Olympics - games involving clicking checkboxes
BrantSteele.net - game show and Hunger Games simulators
Murder Games - fight to the death simulator by Orteil
Cookie Clicker - different but felt weird not including it. by Orteil.
if you're ever thinking about making a niche project that only a select number of individuals will be nerdy enough to enjoy, keep in mind i've been playing some of these games off and on for 20~ years (Alter Ego, for example). quite literally a lifetime of replayability.
Post brought to you by the amount of times the Deutsche Bahn has left me stranded at midnight in bumfuck, nowhere. For this post I've excluded the teens because I don't think you should be putting that kind of responsibilty on the youngins, and I wouldn't put it past Miles to let me die there on purpose judging by the stink eye that little man was giving me after I shared a chaste hug with his sister.
I say this with so much love in my heart, but she's simply not the right person for this task. She doesn't drive, for one, and should she throw herself into her gear and undertake a brisk hike to my location, I don't think that's where our trouble ends. She crests the hills in the wee hours of dawn, me having survived the night on ancient vending machine snacks and warming myself by a cozy tire fire, and still it's not yet time to go home and decompress, no, it's time for another Stella Adventure with a 30% chance of at least one fatality. I want off Ms. Richmond's wild ride.
Would I survive the drive hike back? Anyone's guess. She doesn't want Bad Things happening to me, but her crippling addiction to Bad Things might pose an obstacle.
She is a doctor. She's not a taxi service. Those are her exact words for me as I call her, even as I plead that I'm fearing for my life and that spending the night outside in the cold eating calcified cheese cake from a vending machine certainly won't be good for my health, and also I can't afford a taxi on account of having spent my money on vending machine cheesecake. That's not her job, nobody's forcing me to eat that, (and if someone is forcing me, she's also not the cops) and most importantly: How did I even get this number?!
Would I survive the drive back night stuck at the train station? I mean, probably? It wouldn't be comfortable, and my spine will not forgive me for days to come. However, if I run into any trouble, I'll have to rely on
I'm not expecting the cops to get me home. I don't expect them to be helpful in any damn way. My situation will remain utterly unimproved. The only way Sheriff Huggby and associates can edge out Doctor Kelly is the fact that getting shot down by them won't make me feel bad in the slightest, so at least I'll be less bummed about my cold and lonely night.
Would I survive the drive back night stuck at the train station? Eh, it could always be worse. I could be interacting with the cops right now.
So first of all, there is a non-zero chance Reese will simply be asleep by the time I decide to text him. Even though he seems to be mostly nocturnal, The Horrors don't stick to a schedule, so if he's hit a bad day there's no guarantee he'll read my text. If he does, however...well. He might still come. I don't think he drives, but then again, I don't think that's our biggest problem once he's on his way. Not a lot you can do to stop him once he gets going. He'll come get me alright, and I'll be safe, but I'd have preferred to keep casualties at a minimum.
Would I survive the drive hike (?) back? WE'RE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD IS THAT BLOOD
She WILL show up. That much I can vouch for. She will show up, and she will bring me some tea in a thermos to warm up after my ordeal, and she will get me home. And I will arrive there forever changed, knowing that this ordeal had SOME kind of consequences on my future that I'll never be able to undo, and I'll start to wonder whether I wouldn't have been better off napping on a bench.
Would I survive the drive back? Physically? Hale and hearty.
Now this he/it king keeps assuring me that he's concerned for my safety, and honestly, I'm inclined to believe it! It certainly seems to be putting some backbone into making sure I remain unmauled - when he feels like it, that is. We're walking back, of course. I don't think you're supposed to drive with a bridal veil over your head. And GOD, it smells SO BAD!
Would I survive the drive hike back? I mean, yeah, sure. I just really, really, really don't want to.
I'm not going to list off every single miner here, even though I might be tempted to spend a long car ride with Harrison (cutie pie) or Davis (can GET it), but I've got Isaacs' number, so I might as well try? Chances are good he can drive; I've been told US-Americans find it useful. And he does care! He won't like driving out to the middle of nowhere to taxi a stranger, but he wouldn't want me to be out there all alone, especially not after what happened to his buddy...
Would I survive the drive back? Probably. The uncomfortable silence might come close to taking me out, not going to lie.
Texting Reese might be a 50-50 chance of him even being awake, but Oscar? Man's a single dad with other things to worry about. There's no way he isn't snoring like a chainsaw when I text him in the middle of the night. Once he wakes up he's on the way of course, getting out at the ass-crack of dawn in his undershirt and jeans, but by the time he's arrived the first train of the day is just around the corner.
Would I survive the drive back? I mean, we're both tired and out of it and a little cranky, and we'll both be mostly quiet, but we can make it work.
He doesn't get texts, like, ever, so if he happens to be asleep when I text him the foreign sound of his phone notifications going off will definitely startle him awake. And I like this guy. Like, actually. I'm offering several hours of socialising for this lonely man for the low, low price of whatever gas is worth these days. I'm told it's a lot. I don't drive. But I can promise him I will try to keep up a conversation, and I even grew up as a pretty serious catholic, so I can actually talk religion if he fancies it.
Would I survive the drive back? I'd need some time to recover from being social for such a long period of time without breaks, but it's not an unpleasant exhaustion.
Not to get too deep into the weeds, but Mystical told me that their biscuits are Good, capital G, and someone who puts the skill that could be renamed "Medically Concerning Levels Of Anxiety" at ease is someone I HAVE to trust. They'll come get me, we'll make pleasant conversation, they introduce me to some new tunes on the way back.....if I was sure they had a car. I don't know if they drive. They don't really have a vibe that screams I own a car and a license to me, y'know?
Would I survive the drive back? Not only that, I think I'd have a pretty good time. If they have a car. Which I'm not sure about.
Kaneeka has a van, is notably a safe driver, and she's got a heart! Even if she hated my guts, she wouldn't leave someone who's name doesn't begin with T and doesn't end with Abitha Scarlet sleep rough on a bench in bumfuck nowhere! Even if she isn't happy about it, she will be on her way...if there's nothing getting in her way, that is. There might be some people having a vested interested in having her stay put, after all.
Would I survive the drive back? I'm not going to lie to you, I might be spending most of my time during this car ride putting together a scheme to wind up in a similar situation soon again. I won't apologise for being a Kaneeka guy.
Now Tabitha has proven her willingness and ability to come get me in any situation, even if she fucking hates my guts. I could text her please pick me up im scared from the fucking moon and she'd come. She'd figure out a way. And she'd chew me out the entire ride back until I'm seriously considering tucking and rolling and dragging my sorry ass back to the station instead. (And that's not even getting into the dodgy purpose she might be keeping us in one piece for!)
Would I survive the drive back? Barely. Brother, I would be barely holding on after the dressing-down I'd get from her. I might be a Tabitha guy in theory but I know that I don't have what it takes to survive her.
Yes, I also keep forgetting that Old Duke's last name is Calloway, and not the result of Mr and Mrs Duke giving their son the Christian name "Old". We KNOW they have a car. We KNOW Old Duke taught his boy to protect others who aren't able to protect themselves, and surely helping a dummy like me out of a tight spot must count as "protecting" someone less fortunate than them in the common sense department. Or the understanding of train timetables department.
Would I survive the drive back? I think I'd enjoy it, actually. I like those two. I wanna know more about them! I literally found out today that you can spend some quality time with Old Duke now and maybe that was the impetus that possessed me to write that entire shitpost in the first place!