I'm Not A Violent Dog, Idk Why I Bite (I Grew Up With A Literal Criminal For A Stepdad And An Alcoholic

Spit-roast

Vox x Afab!reader x Valentino

CW: Smut, use of strap, Afab reader, no pronouns used, Valentino, dacryphilia, overstimulation, aftercare(kinda), spit-roasting, size difference if you squint, cunnilingus, fast paced bc I rushed it, please tell me if I've missed any♡

A unmissable gargling sound mixed with whining comes from Vox as he chokes on your pretty pink strap, his spit oozing out of the corners of his mouth while his screen fizzled. One of your hands plays with your clit while the other lays on the back of Voz's screen, sometimes dipping down to trace the pretty, bruising necklace of bites left by yourself and Valentino.

His other end is occupied by the aforementioned Valentino, one set of the moth demons hands wrapped haphazardly around Vox's weeping cock while the other two are perched on the TV demons waist, slamming him onto his cock unapologetically.

Vox felt like, and most likely had, already came over a dozen times however, that didn't earn him any sympathy from you, and certainly not Val. Said moth demon moves one hand from Voz's pretty cock, tracing a bulge in the TV demons stomach from his bulbous dick. Vox let's out a gargled cry in response, trying to tug his sensitive ass away from Valentino's steel grip, but wouldn't be able to even if he could, due to you blocking his way.

Valentino looks at you with a smirk, hastening his thrusts as he chases his fifth high, ignoring completely as you desperately played with your clit, yet to finish. Valentino, luckily, quickly finishes, leaning his head back while panting, only looking down to see his cum seep out of Vox's abused and overstimulated asshole.

Vox cries out around your strap as Valentino pulls out with no remorse, simply telling you to 'Hurry up.' before walking off, shrugging on his robe as he passed by. You quickly pull the sobbing Vox off of your pink strap, hurrying in taking said strap off while the TV demon continues to cry.

"I- bzzt- hurts-" Vox desperately tries to explain his pain to you, going to sit up only to be pulled back down forcefully by your quivering hand, pulling him back down to your sobbing cunt. He immidietly gets the idea, forcing his square, flat head between your thighs and sticking his tounge out, licking a strategic strip against your cunt through his own spit and tears.

You can feel the vibrations of Vox jackhammering his hips into the sofa as if he were thrusting into something while be hungrily laps up the juices of your quivering sex, pushing his head as far as he could between your thighs to desperately taste you.

He quickly becomes a slobbering mess, completely forgetting the pain and cum in his ass, only thinking of your and your delicious juices. You throw your head back in ecstacy, beginning to push your cunt further into his screen to chase your first, and only, high.

You finish soon after, letting out a guttural wail before pulling away from Vox, who looked dazed as he attempted to follow your cunt with his tounge, only to quickly get shut down by you. You get up shakily, sighing and pulling your underwear up, leaving the room, leaving Vox in his poor state of subspace.

"Hurry up." You leave him with those words only, giving no sympathy to the quaking overlord.

While hosting a game show to boost the brothers' popularity

NB MC: "-and you'll have to answer twice," *looks at Mammon with. smirk* ", easy for you Virgos."

NB Mammon: "How did they know I was a Virgo..."

*Fanfare begins*

NB Mammon: "HOW DID THEY KNOW I WAS A VIRGO I DID NOT TELL THEM MY BIRTHDA-"

Lost Loves

Reunited in Hell.

You didn't expect to end up in Hell. It's something that just never occurred to you, that despite your praying, begging for forgiveness, youd still end up rotting with everyone else. You'd helped your husband in his murders, you'd still help him, have he not been shot.

You wandered curiously through Hell, looking at a porn store, an already mugged store and weapons store that crossed your way while you walked through the streets like it were normal. There was chaos all around you, it felt like every two seconds someone's head was lobbed off in a gruesome way. You continued to walk through the crimson streets of Hell before something caught your eye, a small group of sinners all huddled up around a smaller store, or what looked like a store.

Your curiosity got the best of you, dragging you into the front of the small group, murmuring apologies or simply pushing past those who chose to ignore you. It was a radio, a modern looking one at that, similar to one you had in your own home, which you'd always listen to your husbands radio show on. Then something struck you, the radio wasn't the only familiar thing about this scene. The voice, the grating, static-filled voice. Youd recognise it anywhere. Alastor..

You listened in intently, rudely sushing any murmur or whisper among the crowd you'd trudged your way into. You smiled manically upon just listening to his voice for more than two minutes. Frantically, you grasped onto the shoulders of the hell-goer closes to you, a gatsby woman. She was short and pudgy, but undeniably pretty.

"Where does he live?" You asked with the most amount of kindness you could muster, despite your excitement.

"The radio demon? He's residin' at his radio hut, why?" The woman asked, hands on her hips. You bit a scowl at hearing the woman refer to your deceased husband as a demon, but you kept your composure.

"Take me there!" You said breathlessly with a grin, gripping the short woman's shoulders harshly, making her shrug them off.

"And what's in it fa' me?" She asks, looking at you from the side of her eye, tilting her head slightly with a bored look on her face.

"I'll put in a good word for you." The first offer, and undeniably the best. A cocky grin came to her face as she took you hand, shaking it slowly, beginning to drag you down the street. You saw a small lodge at the end of the street, decrepit but sturdy. Minimalistic. It came closer with every long stride, making you grin. You were so close to seeing your husband again, a mere stride away.

You missed the next few seconds of your life- well, death, only truly in your own mind again when you were face-to-face with your husband, his hands gripping your arms tightly. He was scared of leaving you, again. You looked into his newly red eyes, his paler skin, his red hair, everything about him. Even his new features. His deer ones, fitting.

"I've missed you, love.." You murmured breathlessly, a small, teary smile on your face. The small woman had gone, leaving nothing in her wake. It was just you and your husband, the hotel was silent, apart from your small sniffles and the static coming from your husband. Your husband.

"Oh my darling.. I never meant to leave you.." He cooes with a large grin on his face, bearing his sharp, yellow teeth.

Both of you leaned into one another, soft bleating coming from Alastor's throat as your lips connected for what felt like the first time in a millenia.

You held his hand in yours desperately, feeling a cold metal on your finger. His wedding ring, he never took it off. It didn't fit his aesthetic, the silver contrasting his outside drastically, but he'd kept it on.

"You kept it on.." You murmured against his lips happily, feeling him cup your face.

"I was waiting for you, darling.." He cooed yet again, leaning down with a large grin but, it was comforting. Soft.

"I love you.." A chorus of two voices, filled with a heavenly love and devotion to one another, pure love.

This belongs to @nieveel not you

real

I feel like Will Wood and the Tapeworms and I really shouldn't.

Slow Mornings

mornings are slow, even when in Hell

A low purring was the first thing you heard once you woke, that and the shuffling of covers beneath twitching wings and claws. You looked out the window, the red Sun peering through it gently, casting a crimson hue over the hotel room, and over Husker.

He slept with one furry arm draped around your waist, his snout pressed into your shoulder as he breathed in and out softly, in time with his purrs. You smirked at him slightly, bringing an arm up to his head to scratch in between his ears softly, seeing(and feeling) him curl up into your side further whilst his purring increased. Eventually, one of his eyes cracked open gingerly, looking up at you as the morning dawned on him.

"'S Monday, huh?.." He asked groggily, groaning at your silence and pushed his snout further into your shoulder, his ears flattening against his head carefully, just as soft as his arms which came up to hug around your chest drowsily. His wings fluffed up softly, both of them acting as a duvet- a duvet covered in feathers and suits of cards.

"Softy.." You chuckled sleepily, which turned into soft giggles as he growled playfully, if admittedly tired. You could feel his sharp tounge dart out quickly, (literal) kitten licks coming to your collar bone.

Slow mornings were always nice, a gleeful rest from the fast-paced world outside of you both. Through kisses and cuddles, it came slow, even on a Monday.

me and Husker rn

This belongs to @neiveel3llson not you

I need Max horror angst rn I mite die if I don't have it

expanding on my idea that the hypothetical "they stole sam's brain" episode would have "noir" max pretty helpless and vulnerable in contrast to noir sam who is brutish and high-handed. max makes a lot of big talk but without sam, he doesnt have much going for him

and THEN i was wondering how that character shift would affect the gameplay and i think with noir max the beginning of the episode would have more of a horror mystery vibe instead of a noir mystery... skun-ka'pe's men are trying to kill max to cover the whole thing up and max is pretty powerless against them without sam. the game would have more of that terror feel until you get him back.

also i think sam and max should have a good horror spoof episode

Alfred: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I believe.

Dick: I lost Damian.

Y/N: How did you LOSE Damian?!

Dick: To be fair, he is very small.

Bruce: Did you have to stab them?

Jason: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Bruce: What did they say?

Jason: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Bruce: That’s fair.

Y/N: *screaming while holding something large.*

Dick: *Chasing Y/N, screaming at them to not throw the large object.*

Jason: *Crouching at the car window, begging Damian not to call Bruce.*

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergancy?

Tim: We locked our baby brother in the car and people are judging us!

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Jason: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Tim: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Y/N: if you want information it is

Dick: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Jason: What are you talking about Dick? You love it here!

Dick: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Damian: You need to be more careful!

Bruce, who was dragged into Damian's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

Damian: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Y/N: Those are bones, Damian.

Damian: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Bruce: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Alfred: Sir, did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

Damian: But what about Y/N?

Jason: Don't worry about them.

Jason: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Tim: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Y/N: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Y/N: I just choose to ignore it.

*Playing house with Damian and Jon.*

Jason, at Jon: You're my significant other.

Jon: Yeah I am!

Jason, at Dick: You're my child.

Dick: *Rolls eyes* Yes boss.

Jason, at Tim: You're my bitch.

Tim: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jason, at Y/N: My bestie.

Y/N: Naturally.

Jason, Damian: HA, GAY!

Damian: Fuck you.

Alfred: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Bruce: You mean you stabbed them?

Alfred: They ran into my knife, sir.

Bruce: Breaking News, Dick has disappointed us.

Tim: Why do you look like that?

Damian, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Tim: Like you’re dead.

Damian: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Alfred: Young master Damian accidentally called Y/N “babe” in front of everyone today.

Damian: *sobs into the floor*

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning, young master.

Y/N: Turn the light back off.

Bruce: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm*

Bruce: And I mean it.

Tim: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Y/N: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Dick: That's because she's a prostitute.

Bruce: Tim, why are you crying?

Tim: This book is so sad!!

Bruce, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dick: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Y/N: Why? It was important.

Dick: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Damian, shrugging: The people need to know.

Y/N, to Jason: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Jason: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Y/N: You just told me you're pregnant.

Damian: Congratulations Jason, you're glowing!

Y/N: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

*When Y/N and Jason were young and new.*

Bruce: Where the devil is Alfred?

Y/N: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Tim: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Jason: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Y/N: All good bro, any time.

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce, can you hear me?

Bruce, standing next to Damian: I’m standing right here.

Damian: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Alfred: Perhaps, the true treasure was friendship all along. Although, I hope not, because I cannot spend friendship on new suits.

Damian: You wanna fight?! You got one!

Y/N: Okay! *raises fists*

*Bruce runs in, scoops Y/N up in their arms, and runs away carrying them because he just didnt want them to fight. Yet.*

Damian:

Damian: What?

Y/N: Any questions?

Dick: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Y/N: Uh, a plan, duh...

Damian: Dick, chill, I know it’s weird, but Y/N has a point.

Dick:

Dick: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

*Alternatively*

Joker: Any questions?

Y/N: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Joker: Uh, a plan, duh...

Harley: Y/N, chill, I know it’s weird, but Joker has a point.

Y/N:

Y/N: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Bruce, answering the phone: Hello?

Damian: It’s Damian.

Bruce: What did they do this time?

Damian: No, it’s me, Damian. It’s actually me.

Bruce: What did you do this time?

Dick: Everyone thinks you suck.

Joker: I think you have the wrong number…

Dick: Damian?

Joker: Nope. Joker.

Dick: Well, you probably suck too…

Y/N: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Tim: And?

Y/N: And you are.

Hello, 🌹🇵🇸🍉

I hope you are well.

Could you please help me reblog the post on my account to save my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏

I am new to Tumblr and also to GoFundMe.🙏

I hope you can support and stand by me at the beginning .

Thank you ♥️ .

---

🌹🇵🇸🍉

Sam and Max HC

★≈'

Sam, who whines in his sleep when you arent with him, clutching onto pillows and blankets to find you in the mass of 3 bodies and duvets.

Max, who can't sleep without you there, whether he has the other or not, Max who needs you at all times, to be his and Sam's pillar.

Sam, who needs you to play poker, his poker face being a flustered smile, or maybe, he's just looking at you.

Max, who will talk your ears off, loving the time even if you drift off or pay him no notice, just having you there. Listening.

Sam, who would drive you anywhere, whether he needs the DeSoto or not. The.. growling DeSoto.

Max, who can't be trusted to drive, laying over yours or Sam's laps gleefully, living his happy little life.

Sam, who would spoil you and Max to no end, as much as he bank account will let him, which is quite alot, considering what they do to criminals. (They steal their wallets)

Max, who loves being spoiled by you and/or Sam, and repays you both in genuine, non aggressive love, no matter what he holds his standards about love to.

Max, who cries when you or Sam beat him in poker. (he eats his own cards.)

Sam, who sulks when you beat him in poker, before you let him have a pity win. (He also lets Max eat his cards.)

Max, who will jump onto your shoulders, just to give you a 'passionate' he bites you kiss.

Sam, who nuzzles his wet nose into yours and licks your cheek, sleeping over your lap, showing genuine passion for your shared relationship.

They, who love you as much as they could. They, who have never loved anyone as much as they love you and eachother. They, who would do anything for you, anything.