mykotyst - 𓆈
𓆈

Yes, I don't know what I'm doing || neurospicy || German || Pile of weirdness || obsessed with everything that has a good story || befriended with the local forest || be kind, people || infodumping is welcomed :3! || if I'm not answering I either forgot tumblr again for months or I'm dead

164 posts

Latest Posts by mykotyst - Page 3

1 month ago

if you know me irl and you see this no the hell you don’t

If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
If You Know Me Irl And You See This No The Hell You Don’t
1 month ago

welp

Welp
Welp
1 month ago
I Feel Bad For Abandoning This Blog But People Are Still Occasionally Interacting With My Posts And Following

i feel bad for abandoning this blog but people are still occasionally interacting with my posts and following so i thought i'd draw ellie for you guys :P

1 month ago

Weaponzing being German against my anxiety because I can‘t take it seriously when I just go „tja“ after a nasty thought


Tags
1 month ago
With Easter Fast Approaching With Its Spiked Rabbit Sales And Subsequent Spiked Rabbit Abandonment Rates,
With Easter Fast Approaching With Its Spiked Rabbit Sales And Subsequent Spiked Rabbit Abandonment Rates,
With Easter Fast Approaching With Its Spiked Rabbit Sales And Subsequent Spiked Rabbit Abandonment Rates,
With Easter Fast Approaching With Its Spiked Rabbit Sales And Subsequent Spiked Rabbit Abandonment Rates,

With Easter fast approaching with its spiked rabbit sales and subsequent spiked rabbit abandonment rates, I thought I’d use my powers for good by spreading some information I think everyone should know before they get their first bunny. I usually don’t want people reposting my art, but feel free to spread this one around! Reblogs are very, very appreciated. If you want more information about pet rabbits, you can for example check out rabbit.org. And remember: Adopt, don’t shop!

1 month ago

i. hope this isnt strange to say/see (if it is just ignore this and i sincerely apologise) but your blog has. managed to change my brain chemistry in the last week to the point ive made a separate album for cor screenshots and etcetera from how many i nabbed

this comic and au just gives me so much joy- i think i really enjoy the way you've writren characters and the world that just itches something in my head just right, not to mention their expressions n the art are reallly nice and well done and im just GAHSH

i just wanted to share this um

also an actual question- do you have a height chart/heights for the characters ? (if this was talked about/asked/shown elsewhere im so sorry💔 i cant read)

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH THIS LITERALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME?!?! THIS IS SO SWEET THIS IS ONE OF THE NICEST THINGS I’VE EVER HEARD 😭 It’s 4 AM and this already made my day!!

And alas, I do not have a height chart at the moment 😔 but I should probably make one
whatever the case, if it’s for the sake of fanart, go crazy go bonkers!!! Art for this AU makes me so so so dang happy, a lil’ “inaccuracy” (I have. Like. Very few height headcanons so I wouldn’t count it as an inaccuracy) doesn’t bother me at ALL!


Tags
1 month ago
CSD Pforzheim 2025
betterplace.org
Don't be quiet, be a riot! Wir veranstalten den dritten CSD in Pforzheim. Pforzheim ist dafĂŒr bekannt hĂ€sslich zu sein und eine AfD Hochburg

Damit der CSD Pforzheim dieses Jahr stattfinden kann, werden noch Spendengelder benötigt.

1 month ago

Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on my last drawing!! đŸŸ

Here is a freshly drawn doggo (more wolf because those are my favorite animals) for your feed. May he bring a smile to your face!

I added a few more details with a different brush too.

Thank You All So Much For The Positive Feedback On My Last Drawing!! đŸŸ
1 month ago
1 month ago

Rereading the Crown of Roses comics by @crown-of-roses-thsc/ @snickerzanddoodlez because why not

Rereading The Crown Of Roses Comics By @crown-of-roses-thsc/ @snickerzanddoodlez Because Why Not

I think they look like a survival group of a dystopian movie where no one in the group actually likes the others

I mean- They kind of are-


Tags
1 month ago
Jon Sims Doodle

jon sims doodle

1 month ago
a comic depicting a non canon conversation between Jon Sims and Gerry Keay. Gerry (depicted with black dyed hair with red peaking through, 2 piercings above the right eyebrow, a septum piercing and black lipstick) asks john "Wait a minute *you* killed Jurgen Lietner?" to which Jon (depicted with long hair lied in a bunch with a lot of white streaks, round glasses, and round scars, wearing a 'I <3 NYC?' shirt) replies "it was not me! But on first glance, it would seem so. maybe even the next few glances".
Gerry bends down a bit in a conspiratorial manner and asks "Hmm. who was it then" Jon replies, looking away "I can't be sure, but i believe it might have been be Elias." Gerry asks "Elias Bouchard, Elias?" to which Jon says "The very same".
Gerry straightens and hums a "Hmm". Jon says nothing.
Gerry close up, smiling, says "I kind of wish it *had* been you now" Jon offscreen exclaims "WHAT" and Gerry explains " For satisfying revenge purposes" 
Panel pf Jon, close up, looking amused says " well, I am... honoured? I am also starting to see why you and Gertrude might have got along" as Gerry laughs pff screen.

Revenge is best served with friends helping you.

1 month ago

You're welcome :3

I'm happy when I can makes others happy

I don't know if this knowledge is good or a bit sad but: One could read that you definitely know what you're writing about and how someone feels during a panic attack etc.

I kind of know those feelings myself and it's just great to read something a be like "oh, yeah, this writer absolutely know what thery're writing and it's really realistic. The character is very relatable at this point. Awesome" 😅

Though I'm sorry you had experienced such things :'<

But it's awesome when people can make something great out of their bad experiences in life and create such wonderful things, pls don't stopđŸ«¶âœšïž

And may the spirits of the art and writing blocks have mercy and stay away from us all FOR A LONG TIME

An Overgrowth of Grief: A Crown of Roses Fic

(This little Multi-Chapter fic is focused on Brutus’ backstory of what occurred to have made him jaded, quiet and to avoid growing attached to others. There is death involved in this fic & hints of self-harm.)

You have been warned...

This fic goes out to @crown-of-roses-thsc

Special and continued appearances in the future of OCs Wolf and Danny belong to @capturedcharlesau and @oreothefox715

Enjoy chapter 1

Chapter One: Denial

Brutus stood there trembling like a leaf staring at the lifeless bodies that were once his friends he called family, the chief, Terrence Suave had him brought here to his office by Carol Cross just to watch him blow a hole right between each of their heads. All four of them. They were now on the floor bleeding out and no longer breathing. There was no light in their eyes, no sign of life, the double agent couldn’t even scream. Let alone cry. There was a lump in his throat as his gaze flickered from each corpse.

There were tears streaming down his face but not a sound could escape his throat, it hurt so much. No amount of words could describe the pain in his chest he was feeling.

“Well, now that we got rid of them
” Terrence Suave glanced back at the newbie who was a damn emotional wreck, did this kid not know that his little friends were planning his downfall? If that’s the case well then it was no wonder why he was such a lil ray of sunshine for the first few days.

“W..Why?” Was all Brutus could manage to ask.

The chief grinned as he sauntered up to the young man, “I had a feelin’ you were about as bright as a broken lightbulb, didn’t know you were THIS dumb though.”

The double agent looked at the chief to find the man standing in his space, he felt scared, confused and wanted to run away..but he couldn’t. His body was frozen in place, the tears didn’t stop and he could feel a panic attack slowly building up. His mind was a mess.

The chief took great pleasure in seeing how terrified Brutus was, “How about I dumb it all down for ya’ Danger Boy? To put it simply, Yer lil friends were a small band of traitors! Bunch a folks who didn’t agree with how I run things round the clan.” Terrence explained. “So I called em’ here and had Carol bring you in to show ya what happens when you think you know any better than me.”

An example.

That’s what he turned them into, a pile of bodies was Terrence Suave’s version of showing one what happens when they try to put an end to the current leader for the betterment of the clan.

Calix Crane, Eden Finch, Reid Vandergriff and Quinn Briar.

They were a small group of rebels who wanted Terrence dead, Brutus didn’t know of this until now. They never told him. Perhaps it was to protect him, his friends didn’t want him to get involved with their work yet he was still brought to watch them die one by one. That only made him wonder though, would the chief put a bullet through his brain now or wait for another opportunity?

“Now, what to do with you.~” Terrence chuckled as he twirled his gun, “You weren't REALLY part of their band of fools and ya don't look like much of a threat to me.” he smirked.

He found it comical how this pathetic dolt of a lower rank just so happened to wind up making friends with the wrong group of Toppats.

Brutus stood there waiting for the chief to come to a conclusion as to how he'll deal with him, the tension in the air was thicker than fog in the morning after a long rainfall.

It was terrifying.

Terrence shrugged with a sigh, “Eh, you're free to go but just remember Danger Boy
” his hand lightly squeezed around the young man’s throat. “stay in line and don't make me regret keepin' you alive. Got it?”

The only response he got out of Brutus was a frantic nod.

The chief grinned as he let go of him, “Good, run along now and stay outta trouble.~”

The double agent almost fell to the floor as he slipped up a bit while running out of the room, Brutus ran like his life fucking depended on it not even daring to look back. It felt like there was a darkness chasing after him down the hallways of the airship as he desperately rushed to his room.

Without even bothering to think he slammed his door close behind him. His heart was pounding so loudly he could hear it, each quick paced beat echoed so loudly in his own ears it was overwhelming.

Brutus gripped at his vest over his heart, it was getting difficult to breathe, his chest was in pain and he was becoming so dizzy in an instant.

Oh sticks, he was having a fucking panic attack.

The room was spinning, his mind playing out the horrific moment again and again as Terrence Suave’s words echoed in his head. His friends were gone, dead, just a bunch of bloody corpses left to rot and given no proper burial. Nobody but him knew, no one else would care about those four or bother keeping them alive in memory.

That was all left up to the double agent to do, he had to shoulder it all
it’s fine.

No.

Nothing is fine.

He isn’t fine right now, his thoughts are out of control, his breathing and heartbeats are in the same predicament.

How is he supposed to be okay and keep on surviving this hell on his own? Who could he trust? Was anyone else planning to turn against Suave? Brutus fell to his hands and knees as his panic attack worsened, breathe, he needed to breathe yet that felt like such a difficult task to do.

“C'mon, in and out.” Brutus thought to himself, “Inhale for five
.hold
and then exhale. It's simple and easy.”

Inhale.

One
.two
three
four
five
and exhale for five. Repeat.

Brutus couldn't see past the tears that continued to stream down his face like an endless waterfall, he swore that even as he tried to control his breathing it felt like he was drowning or worse.

Some kind of greenery of overgrowth was strangling him, taking away his ability to breathe.

This sorrow, this pain was quickly consuming him in it's heavy tidal waves that came crashing down to push him deeper into the depths of the sea he fought to keep his head above.

All Brutus could do was curl up on the carpet flooring of his room as he passed out from his panic attack.

He was so fucking exhausted, he wanted to just stay in his room locked away from the rest of the clan. This all had to be a bad dream, his friends couldn't possibly have actually died
right? This was just a nightmare.

That's all this was, a really bad dream.

Tomorrow was going to be fine, his friends would be alive and well. Brutus was in denial and already refusing to believe that anything that had recently occurred was the slightest bit real.

When the sun comes up, this will all fade away.

Oh, how wrong the double agent would be. Calix, Eden, Reid and Quinn were dead and that's how they'd stay.

The cycle of grief began and it would continually grow its painful thorny vines around his heart, it would slowly crush his heart till it bled and until he cried to bargain with death.

For now, he laid there on the floor asleep and emotionally drained after the panic attack he had just now.

.

.

.

.

When morning did come, Brutus expected Quinn to come by his room. They'd always be there to walk with him, their schedules were almost the same, save for the work the two did in the airship. But there was no knock at his door, their cheerful voice wasn't there to check up on him if he was awake.

Brutus refused to believe that last night had ever happened.

It couldn't have.

His friends still had to be alive, but if Quinn wasn't coming to his door then
no. No, They aren't dead. None of them are. They can't be. None of what occurred last night was real, he'll see them around somewhere in the airship.

Right?

The double agent didn't feel like moving from where he laid on the carpet flooring, his body felt like it was so heavy he couldn't get up. There's no point in believing that his friends are alive if he didn't get up and go see for himself. Yet he was still so damn exhausted from the panic attack he had, Brutus was worried that he wouldn't be strong enough to make it through today.

As he made an attempt to push himself up from the floor his arms slightly trembled, all that crying and one hell of a panic attack really sapped him of his energy.

But in his heart he NEEDED to be sure that his friends were alive, they had to be okay. They were all he had and yet he could see it in his mind
their lifeless bodies covered in blood on the floor of Terrence's office. There was a sudden change of emotions in his heart, he felt angry. His blood boiled at the thought of that moment being real.

It couldn't be.

It isn't real, it didn't happen.

So get. up.

Brutus clenched his jaw as he forced himself up from the floor, no amount of exhaustion was going to slow him down after that god awful nightmare. He wondered though, if last night WAS real, then his friends were a group of rebels and that would mean everything was real.

And he was in denial.

It wasn't FAIR.

.

.

.

Having finally managed to get up, Brutus wandered from his room and headed for the Cafeteria.

Can't work on an empty stomach.

Hell, he almost fucking starved himself a bit after staying in his room for longer than usual
he couldn't stop worrying about his friends. Brutus was gripping his own arms so tightly as that fear and anxiety in the back of his mind resurfaced.

“Please, please let last night just be some awful nightmare.”

As soon as he made it into the cafeteria, the double agent began eyeing the area for his friends, but none of them could be found. There were very few people in the cafeteria too
what time was it?

He couldn't have slept in until
until..

How long had he been locked away in his room for?

“Brutus?” Danny Felizima had taken notice of the young man looking rather confused. He hadn't even seen his nephew for breakfast or even his friends.

“Are you alright? You weren't here for breakfast and I didn't even see you on break.”

Brutus anxiously rubbed his arms while looking around for Calix and the others, “Tío, have you seen Calix, Eden, Quinn or Reid? Q-Quinn usually comes by my room to wake me up so we all can have breakfast together but
I’m so fucking scared that last night was so real!” He was starting to cry again.

Danny's eyes widened, “L-Last night? Dio mio, Brutus what happened last night?”

He heard rumors about a small group of traitors being dealt with, which made the Italian chef worry even more for his nephew's well-being.

“Last night, I..I THINK it was all a nightmare but..but I'm not so sure now, Terrence had Carol Cross bring me to his office and..and from there he made me watch as he shot my friends!” Brutus’ eyes were wide as his hands started to tremble, he was so fucking afraid of it all being real. “Tío..please tell me you saw my friends! Please tell me they're okay!”

Danny's eyes filled with tears as he brought his poor nephew into a tight hug, “Brutus, mi dispiace, they're gone mi monello.”

The Italian chef watched as his nephew began silently crying, it seemed like the poor young man was going to need time to process the horrors he had been subjected to.

Brutus on the other hand was frozen in place as his Tío hugged him, last night was real, yet he couldn't accept it. He couldn't accept that his friends were dead. People who felt like family to him, loved him like he was their own blood
were dead.

Today would only prove to be a difficult day, he had never felt so alone.

His heart was aching so terribly that grief’s thorns were sinking deeper, tightening around Brutus' fragile heart and creeping up his throat.

Planning to make it impossible to breathe once more.

.

.

.

.

After Danny had managed to convince the poor young man to get some food in his stomach to make it through the day, Brutus was silently trudging around the airship. The way he walked around looked as if he were lost, unaware of how long he'd been walking around for.

What are you even doing at this point?

He..He was trying to get to.. somewhere.

Where were you even going?

He didn't know anymore, Brutus was lost without his friends and it hurt so much.

“Brutus
”

It felt like everything had fallen apart so quickly and every emotion was happening at random like rapid fire when he thought about that moment in time.

This pain, this amount of grief
it felt so extreme and explosive.

“Brutus
”

Would he ever be able to be okay again?

“Hey! Brutus!”

The double agent stopped in his tracks as he finally heard someone calling out to him. It was Wolf, the Toppat Clan's greatest blacksmith
technically she was probably also the ONLY Blacksmith as far as Brutus was aware.

“Oh, hey Wolf.” He tiredly greeted her, “What's up?”

The blacksmith’s expression was one of concern and worry, she felt as though the young man's energy was fading fast.

His spark was dying out, why?

“You don't look alright, do you
wanna talk?” Wolf asked. “I get if you don't but I just couldn't stand to see you looking so sad. So if there's something you need to get off your chest I guess I'm gonna be willing to be a listener.”

Don't talk about it, you can't tell her.

You'll get her killed.

You'll put her in trouble, you're the reason the others died.

“Brut-” “I-I’M SORRY I JUST..I HAVE TO BE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW WOLF!” Brutus spoke over the blacksmith.

Wolf could only watch in concern as the young man ran off to wherever his schedule took him
did he even know where he was going?

The poor guy looked so lost and afraid.

“Brutus
what happened to you buddy?” She couldn't imagine what caused him to be the way he suddenly was now but surely he'd talk to her or a friend of his about it.

Right?

.

.

.

.

.

How long had he been going through these halls for? How long had he been searching for something else to do after mindlessly by memory finishing his usual routine?

Minutes?

Hours?

Brutus’ mind forgot about last night again, believing Calix and the others were still alive and that was his reason for wandering these hallways. His footsteps felt so heavy, his body and mind exhausted, his gaze vacant and unfocused.

Brutus kept looking for them.

For Eden.

For Reid.

For Quinn


“Calix
” He mumbled aloud, “Calix, where did you go? Please
I’m so alone..”

Other Toppats had taken notice of the lost soul wandering every single moment around the airship. His mind lost to the grief unable to accept the truth of his situation, Calix and the others
were dead.

Brutus tiredly stumbled into his room eventually, the door closed behind him before he collapsed on the carpet flooring.

Exhausted. Heartbroken. Grieving.

Everything felt so
so very heavy. His whole body was weighed down by an unseen force only his very imagination could conjure up.

Heavy thorny vines crushing and weighing his form down to the point he couldn't see an end to the vines. They wrapped around him letting their prisoner know that he couldn't ever forget what happened to the ones who were so close to him.

“Don't forget the reason they died
”

Wilted, withered roses bloomed along the thorny vines whispering the terrible truth to him.

“They died loving you as a friend, family
they died trying to keep you safe from danger.”

Brutus tiredly looked up to see the ghost of Calix Crane sitting on his knees, an arrangement of red and burgundy wilting roses blooming from his left eye and heart as small thorny vines decorated the rest of him.

“Calix died giving his heart to you..and you never gave him yours
how sad..”

His eyes grew heavy with exhaustion already closing as there was no point in fighting back the closest thing to death.

Some say that falling asleep is just like dying


Brutus wished it was death that took him.

He didn't know how much longer he could go on without his friends.

Without Calix.

He felt so alone.

So


Worthless.

1 month ago

This is so good :DD

Especially your skills in writing characters at their mental breaking point😭

An Overgrowth of Grief: A Crown of Roses Fic

(This little Multi-Chapter fic is focused on Brutus’ backstory of what occurred to have made him jaded, quiet and to avoid growing attached to others. There is death involved in this fic & hints of self-harm.)

You have been warned...

This fic goes out to @crown-of-roses-thsc

Special and continued appearances in the future of OCs Wolf and Danny belong to @capturedcharlesau and @oreothefox715

Enjoy chapter 1

Chapter One: Denial

Brutus stood there trembling like a leaf staring at the lifeless bodies that were once his friends he called family, the chief, Terrence Suave had him brought here to his office by Carol Cross just to watch him blow a hole right between each of their heads. All four of them. They were now on the floor bleeding out and no longer breathing. There was no light in their eyes, no sign of life, the double agent couldn’t even scream. Let alone cry. There was a lump in his throat as his gaze flickered from each corpse.

There were tears streaming down his face but not a sound could escape his throat, it hurt so much. No amount of words could describe the pain in his chest he was feeling.

“Well, now that we got rid of them
” Terrence Suave glanced back at the newbie who was a damn emotional wreck, did this kid not know that his little friends were planning his downfall? If that’s the case well then it was no wonder why he was such a lil ray of sunshine for the first few days.

“W..Why?” Was all Brutus could manage to ask.

The chief grinned as he sauntered up to the young man, “I had a feelin’ you were about as bright as a broken lightbulb, didn’t know you were THIS dumb though.”

The double agent looked at the chief to find the man standing in his space, he felt scared, confused and wanted to run away..but he couldn’t. His body was frozen in place, the tears didn’t stop and he could feel a panic attack slowly building up. His mind was a mess.

The chief took great pleasure in seeing how terrified Brutus was, “How about I dumb it all down for ya’ Danger Boy? To put it simply, Yer lil friends were a small band of traitors! Bunch a folks who didn’t agree with how I run things round the clan.” Terrence explained. “So I called em’ here and had Carol bring you in to show ya what happens when you think you know any better than me.”

An example.

That’s what he turned them into, a pile of bodies was Terrence Suave’s version of showing one what happens when they try to put an end to the current leader for the betterment of the clan.

Calix Crane, Eden Finch, Reid Vandergriff and Quinn Briar.

They were a small group of rebels who wanted Terrence dead, Brutus didn’t know of this until now. They never told him. Perhaps it was to protect him, his friends didn’t want him to get involved with their work yet he was still brought to watch them die one by one. That only made him wonder though, would the chief put a bullet through his brain now or wait for another opportunity?

“Now, what to do with you.~” Terrence chuckled as he twirled his gun, “You weren't REALLY part of their band of fools and ya don't look like much of a threat to me.” he smirked.

He found it comical how this pathetic dolt of a lower rank just so happened to wind up making friends with the wrong group of Toppats.

Brutus stood there waiting for the chief to come to a conclusion as to how he'll deal with him, the tension in the air was thicker than fog in the morning after a long rainfall.

It was terrifying.

Terrence shrugged with a sigh, “Eh, you're free to go but just remember Danger Boy
” his hand lightly squeezed around the young man’s throat. “stay in line and don't make me regret keepin' you alive. Got it?”

The only response he got out of Brutus was a frantic nod.

The chief grinned as he let go of him, “Good, run along now and stay outta trouble.~”

The double agent almost fell to the floor as he slipped up a bit while running out of the room, Brutus ran like his life fucking depended on it not even daring to look back. It felt like there was a darkness chasing after him down the hallways of the airship as he desperately rushed to his room.

Without even bothering to think he slammed his door close behind him. His heart was pounding so loudly he could hear it, each quick paced beat echoed so loudly in his own ears it was overwhelming.

Brutus gripped at his vest over his heart, it was getting difficult to breathe, his chest was in pain and he was becoming so dizzy in an instant.

Oh sticks, he was having a fucking panic attack.

The room was spinning, his mind playing out the horrific moment again and again as Terrence Suave’s words echoed in his head. His friends were gone, dead, just a bunch of bloody corpses left to rot and given no proper burial. Nobody but him knew, no one else would care about those four or bother keeping them alive in memory.

That was all left up to the double agent to do, he had to shoulder it all
it’s fine.

No.

Nothing is fine.

He isn’t fine right now, his thoughts are out of control, his breathing and heartbeats are in the same predicament.

How is he supposed to be okay and keep on surviving this hell on his own? Who could he trust? Was anyone else planning to turn against Suave? Brutus fell to his hands and knees as his panic attack worsened, breathe, he needed to breathe yet that felt like such a difficult task to do.

“C'mon, in and out.” Brutus thought to himself, “Inhale for five
.hold
and then exhale. It's simple and easy.”

Inhale.

One
.two
three
four
five
and exhale for five. Repeat.

Brutus couldn't see past the tears that continued to stream down his face like an endless waterfall, he swore that even as he tried to control his breathing it felt like he was drowning or worse.

Some kind of greenery of overgrowth was strangling him, taking away his ability to breathe.

This sorrow, this pain was quickly consuming him in it's heavy tidal waves that came crashing down to push him deeper into the depths of the sea he fought to keep his head above.

All Brutus could do was curl up on the carpet flooring of his room as he passed out from his panic attack.

He was so fucking exhausted, he wanted to just stay in his room locked away from the rest of the clan. This all had to be a bad dream, his friends couldn't possibly have actually died
right? This was just a nightmare.

That's all this was, a really bad dream.

Tomorrow was going to be fine, his friends would be alive and well. Brutus was in denial and already refusing to believe that anything that had recently occurred was the slightest bit real.

When the sun comes up, this will all fade away.

Oh, how wrong the double agent would be. Calix, Eden, Reid and Quinn were dead and that's how they'd stay.

The cycle of grief began and it would continually grow its painful thorny vines around his heart, it would slowly crush his heart till it bled and until he cried to bargain with death.

For now, he laid there on the floor asleep and emotionally drained after the panic attack he had just now.

.

.

.

.

When morning did come, Brutus expected Quinn to come by his room. They'd always be there to walk with him, their schedules were almost the same, save for the work the two did in the airship. But there was no knock at his door, their cheerful voice wasn't there to check up on him if he was awake.

Brutus refused to believe that last night had ever happened.

It couldn't have.

His friends still had to be alive, but if Quinn wasn't coming to his door then
no. No, They aren't dead. None of them are. They can't be. None of what occurred last night was real, he'll see them around somewhere in the airship.

Right?

The double agent didn't feel like moving from where he laid on the carpet flooring, his body felt like it was so heavy he couldn't get up. There's no point in believing that his friends are alive if he didn't get up and go see for himself. Yet he was still so damn exhausted from the panic attack he had, Brutus was worried that he wouldn't be strong enough to make it through today.

As he made an attempt to push himself up from the floor his arms slightly trembled, all that crying and one hell of a panic attack really sapped him of his energy.

But in his heart he NEEDED to be sure that his friends were alive, they had to be okay. They were all he had and yet he could see it in his mind
their lifeless bodies covered in blood on the floor of Terrence's office. There was a sudden change of emotions in his heart, he felt angry. His blood boiled at the thought of that moment being real.

It couldn't be.

It isn't real, it didn't happen.

So get. up.

Brutus clenched his jaw as he forced himself up from the floor, no amount of exhaustion was going to slow him down after that god awful nightmare. He wondered though, if last night WAS real, then his friends were a group of rebels and that would mean everything was real.

And he was in denial.

It wasn't FAIR.

.

.

.

Having finally managed to get up, Brutus wandered from his room and headed for the Cafeteria.

Can't work on an empty stomach.

Hell, he almost fucking starved himself a bit after staying in his room for longer than usual
he couldn't stop worrying about his friends. Brutus was gripping his own arms so tightly as that fear and anxiety in the back of his mind resurfaced.

“Please, please let last night just be some awful nightmare.”

As soon as he made it into the cafeteria, the double agent began eyeing the area for his friends, but none of them could be found. There were very few people in the cafeteria too
what time was it?

He couldn't have slept in until
until..

How long had he been locked away in his room for?

“Brutus?” Danny Felizima had taken notice of the young man looking rather confused. He hadn't even seen his nephew for breakfast or even his friends.

“Are you alright? You weren't here for breakfast and I didn't even see you on break.”

Brutus anxiously rubbed his arms while looking around for Calix and the others, “Tío, have you seen Calix, Eden, Quinn or Reid? Q-Quinn usually comes by my room to wake me up so we all can have breakfast together but
I’m so fucking scared that last night was so real!” He was starting to cry again.

Danny's eyes widened, “L-Last night? Dio mio, Brutus what happened last night?”

He heard rumors about a small group of traitors being dealt with, which made the Italian chef worry even more for his nephew's well-being.

“Last night, I..I THINK it was all a nightmare but..but I'm not so sure now, Terrence had Carol Cross bring me to his office and..and from there he made me watch as he shot my friends!” Brutus’ eyes were wide as his hands started to tremble, he was so fucking afraid of it all being real. “Tío..please tell me you saw my friends! Please tell me they're okay!”

Danny's eyes filled with tears as he brought his poor nephew into a tight hug, “Brutus, mi dispiace, they're gone mi monello.”

The Italian chef watched as his nephew began silently crying, it seemed like the poor young man was going to need time to process the horrors he had been subjected to.

Brutus on the other hand was frozen in place as his Tío hugged him, last night was real, yet he couldn't accept it. He couldn't accept that his friends were dead. People who felt like family to him, loved him like he was their own blood
were dead.

Today would only prove to be a difficult day, he had never felt so alone.

His heart was aching so terribly that grief’s thorns were sinking deeper, tightening around Brutus' fragile heart and creeping up his throat.

Planning to make it impossible to breathe once more.

.

.

.

.

After Danny had managed to convince the poor young man to get some food in his stomach to make it through the day, Brutus was silently trudging around the airship. The way he walked around looked as if he were lost, unaware of how long he'd been walking around for.

What are you even doing at this point?

He..He was trying to get to.. somewhere.

Where were you even going?

He didn't know anymore, Brutus was lost without his friends and it hurt so much.

“Brutus
”

It felt like everything had fallen apart so quickly and every emotion was happening at random like rapid fire when he thought about that moment in time.

This pain, this amount of grief
it felt so extreme and explosive.

“Brutus
”

Would he ever be able to be okay again?

“Hey! Brutus!”

The double agent stopped in his tracks as he finally heard someone calling out to him. It was Wolf, the Toppat Clan's greatest blacksmith
technically she was probably also the ONLY Blacksmith as far as Brutus was aware.

“Oh, hey Wolf.” He tiredly greeted her, “What's up?”

The blacksmith’s expression was one of concern and worry, she felt as though the young man's energy was fading fast.

His spark was dying out, why?

“You don't look alright, do you
wanna talk?” Wolf asked. “I get if you don't but I just couldn't stand to see you looking so sad. So if there's something you need to get off your chest I guess I'm gonna be willing to be a listener.”

Don't talk about it, you can't tell her.

You'll get her killed.

You'll put her in trouble, you're the reason the others died.

“Brut-” “I-I’M SORRY I JUST..I HAVE TO BE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW WOLF!” Brutus spoke over the blacksmith.

Wolf could only watch in concern as the young man ran off to wherever his schedule took him
did he even know where he was going?

The poor guy looked so lost and afraid.

“Brutus
what happened to you buddy?” She couldn't imagine what caused him to be the way he suddenly was now but surely he'd talk to her or a friend of his about it.

Right?

.

.

.

.

.

How long had he been going through these halls for? How long had he been searching for something else to do after mindlessly by memory finishing his usual routine?

Minutes?

Hours?

Brutus’ mind forgot about last night again, believing Calix and the others were still alive and that was his reason for wandering these hallways. His footsteps felt so heavy, his body and mind exhausted, his gaze vacant and unfocused.

Brutus kept looking for them.

For Eden.

For Reid.

For Quinn


“Calix
” He mumbled aloud, “Calix, where did you go? Please
I’m so alone..”

Other Toppats had taken notice of the lost soul wandering every single moment around the airship. His mind lost to the grief unable to accept the truth of his situation, Calix and the others
were dead.

Brutus tiredly stumbled into his room eventually, the door closed behind him before he collapsed on the carpet flooring.

Exhausted. Heartbroken. Grieving.

Everything felt so
so very heavy. His whole body was weighed down by an unseen force only his very imagination could conjure up.

Heavy thorny vines crushing and weighing his form down to the point he couldn't see an end to the vines. They wrapped around him letting their prisoner know that he couldn't ever forget what happened to the ones who were so close to him.

“Don't forget the reason they died
”

Wilted, withered roses bloomed along the thorny vines whispering the terrible truth to him.

“They died loving you as a friend, family
they died trying to keep you safe from danger.”

Brutus tiredly looked up to see the ghost of Calix Crane sitting on his knees, an arrangement of red and burgundy wilting roses blooming from his left eye and heart as small thorny vines decorated the rest of him.

“Calix died giving his heart to you..and you never gave him yours
how sad..”

His eyes grew heavy with exhaustion already closing as there was no point in fighting back the closest thing to death.

Some say that falling asleep is just like dying


Brutus wished it was death that took him.

He didn't know how much longer he could go on without his friends.

Without Calix.

He felt so alone.

So


Worthless.


Tags
1 month ago

Okay thats it

*lays down in a corner and cries silently*


Tags
1 month ago
Today I Met Happiness
Today I Met Happiness
Today I Met Happiness
Today I Met Happiness
Today I Met Happiness

Today I met happiness

1 month ago

The team is so mentally unstable, it's going to be very interesting..

I mean Sven already looks like a schizophrenic to the others-

Poor boy😭đŸ„Č

The Team Is So Mentally Unstable, It's Going To Be Very Interesting..

Me too, Lefty.. me too..

Crown of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13

Featuring @smoresthehalloweenqueen’s Brutus!

Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13
Crown Of Roses // Tumble Ver // Chapter 13

Tags
1 month ago
Current Mood

Current mood

1 month ago
I Feel Like Jon Is A Bit Of A Rebound


I feel like Jon is a bit of a rebound


1 month ago

ok hear me out. twiligjt sparkle and jonathan sims . ok hear me out. pinkie pie and tim. ok hear me out fluttershy and martin ok hear me out rainbow dash and tim ok hear me out discord and the distortions ok hear me out-

Ok Hear Me Out. Twiligjt Sparkle And Jonathan Sims . Ok Hear Me Out. Pinkie Pie And Tim. Ok Hear Me Out
Ok Hear Me Out. Twiligjt Sparkle And Jonathan Sims . Ok Hear Me Out. Pinkie Pie And Tim. Ok Hear Me Out

I’m so sorry this is such a cool concept but I could only think of this

1 month ago

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

1 month ago

1$ flea market score. Tiny glass 1960s perfume bottles. I love them.

 1$ Flea Market Score. Tiny Glass 1960s Perfume Bottles. I Love Them.
1 month ago

This is so good :>đŸ€ŒđŸ€Œ

Randy is my last braincell

More people should be like him

Crown of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12

Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12
Crown Of Roses // Tumblr Ver // Chapter 12

Continued (Coming Soon)


Tags
1 month ago

Every time i'm reading "tma" i accidently read "trauma"

There are probably reasons for that *cough cough *


Tags
1 month ago
See How The Brain Plays Around

See how the brain plays around

And you fall inside a hole you couldn't see

And you fall inside a hole inside a-

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