Spotted This Pair In The Wild And Had A Good Laugh

Viper is Batman

Batman is, in his own words, a rich kid with lots, lots of problems. He's often lonely because of the walls that he made by the security of the ones that he loves. And, believe me, Batman is a person who loves too much. He feels pain because of it. He got traumatized and fights everyday for people don't suffer like him. And, when he can't fight the others' battles, he truly helps these people in their battles.

This is my romantic view of Batman. Now, being realistic, this man is a dick.

Like, Bruce, you're rich, pay for some therapy. Spanking criminals saying that it's for justice isn't a way to solve your problems and the problems of the world. I bet that the biggest issue in Gotham is Bruce Wayne's richness. And, you won't justify yourself by training kids to be vigilantes/assassins. I mean, I know that Bruce never wanted the Robins ended like him but shiiiit boy. Look what you did with Jason.

Now that I showed my ignorant opinion about Batman, let's talk about Viper.

Her "therapy" is inflict pain in others. Like, playing with Viper is even scary since she's with that terrify voice saying something like "I want to see you craw". Her ability is make people suffocate till death or make them dissolve. Ma'am, calm down.

Anyway, my point is, Viper is a dick too.

She's as traumatized and lonely as Batman. And, even if she's a damn sadic bitch, she cares about the younger agents. I don't think that the dialogue between her and Brim is just a tired Viper.

(Viper: "Brimstone, we really need to put an age floor on Valorant. I can't take this... youth"

Brim: "They're the future, Sabine! You know you care about them.")

Yes, she cares. Damn, how she cares. They are young and dumb. They should be just young and dumb, not soldiers. I think Viper can be really overprotective with the younger agents, even if she doesn't know how to demonstrate this. She doesn't want to anyone else feel what she feels everyday.

She's a cinnamon roll. She even bet with Brimstone that her kids won't die in battle.

Yet, Viper's still a dick. Big one. Never forget this.

All this to say, love to Viper and Batman please. They need true therapy and a hug.

3 am character analysis time: i think it's really important to note that neon feels like the group's baby but adamantly is not the/a baby.

she is the youngest, least experienced in combat and warfare and gunfights and using her powers, and the shortest; so obviously she does need to be guided along to a degree but isn't a completely helpess and aimless baby. yk? I think a lot of her struggle comes from trying to prove herself and her worth and her maturity and right to be seen as an equal professional and adult among the others—but the age differences and lack of control speak for themselves.

she's TRYING to be an adult — because she IS an adult — but she's treated like a baby — because in the sense of age and experience she IS the group's baby. you know? and she's in that transitional age between teenager to young adult where everyday is a fight for maturity and independence while being unsure and clumsy and lost in navigating the world for yourself. she wants to be guided, but not coddled. she doesn't want to be suffocated and silenced because she's the, "baby." she wants to be seen as the adult she is but the truth is that she doesn't know what she's doing on her own.

(and as a college kid in the same age range i feel the same way 😭)

caught in a dangerous web...

Guess who dialogue credit goes to;

a. @hvstias

b. Your mom

c. Lord Farquaad

d. The Spanish Inquisition

Dialogue credit goes to @hvstias once again

POV: You’re Viper

May I present to you:

Cypher but with a comically wide-brimmed hat

Valorant Headcanons

Cypher falls asleep in random places all the time. He doesn’t mean to, it’s a result of like, never sleeping, but he can just be sitting on the couch tinkering away when BAM - asleep. (The other agents usually leave him alone and turn off the lights. Sometimes KJ will put a blanket over him bc god knows he needs some good rest)

Brimstone tries to use gen z phrases to relate to the younger agents but fails miserably. Once, he misinterpreted “thicc” and said it about almost everything before the context was VERY WRONG and Phoenix made him stop. (this is totally not based off my dad doing this exact same thing for months, until he called my brother thicc and we made him stop)

KJ collects coffee cups (based off her lab in the riotxarcane game)

Phoenix and Yoru have game nights, which usually ends in a LOT of arguing. The other agents place bets on who will start yelling first (it’s usually Phoenix)

When the other agents are running low on things, Cypher will buy it for them and leave it somewhere. Like a new soldering iron for KJ, new paints for Raze, etc. He never says it’s him, nor accepts any thank you’s but the others can definitely tell.

Raze’s room is painted wall to wall with art, like how Rapunzel painted the tower.

Yoru likes to tp onto the roof and just sit up there

Raze is NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER allowed to cook. She once nearly burned the place down, a job that’s supposed to be their resident fire radiant’s.

Skye keeps a garden that the other agents sometimes hang out in when they have free time

The younger agents pestered Brimstone to get a pool installed (purely for exercise purposes ofc). Everyone has been in it at least once, except Omen and Cypher. Cypher maintains that the day he gets in the pool is the day the world ends. (And that if anybody pushes him in, he’ll leak their search history)

Sage has a black cat named Moon

Omen knit a sweater for Sage and she wears it when it’s cold

I redrew the panel where Brim reads Yoru’s poetry about Skye to the protocol. It was a bit messy in the original, so here we are.

To summarize;

Breach, Fade and Kayo: I’m about to ruin this man’s whole career.

Killjoy and Astra: :0

Jett, Phoenix, Chamber, and Raze: Haha get rekt scrub nice poetry

Viper and Brimstone: Those are some… interesting words.

Sage and Omen: *look of utter disappointment*

Sova: What rhymes with flashbang and you do in bed?

Reyna: Do not corrupt the child

Neon: ;3

Cypher: Finally, something interesting

Skye:

Oh, and the poem went

“You talk to animals with such a gentle croon. When I hear it, I swoon.

You light up my world like a flashbang. I’ll teleport to your bed if you wanna-“

idk if its just me but i just think viper genuinely cares about other agents behind that cold facade (e. g. her voicemail about sova) and seeing them suffer by someone else's hand? it will not do. her parent mode gets activated with Fade's entrance lol