Peter: Where Is Everybody?

Liam: Are you mad?

Scott: We're not mad

Stiles: We're furious

Coach: What does your gut tell you?

Scott: 'Go ask Stiles, he'll know what to do'.

Scott and Stiles: [interrogating a supernatural creature]

Said Creature: By the way, I like this whole good cop/bad cop thing you have going on, very nice

Scott: Yeah except we're not doing good cop/bad cop, it's just that I'm nice and Stiles isn't

Liam: You bought a taco?

Stiles: Yes

Liam: From the truck that hit Theo?

Stiles: Well me starving ain't gonna help him

Stiles: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Scott: I did. I broke it…

Stiles: No. No, you didn’t. Liam?

Liam: Don’t look at me. Look at Isaac.

Isaac: What?! I didn’t break it.

Mason: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Isaac: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Liam & Mason: Suspicious.

Isaac: No, it’s not!

Theo: If it matters, probably not… Lydia was the last one to use it.

Lydia: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Theo: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Lydia: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows, that Theo!

Scott: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Stiles.

Stiles: No. Who broke it?

Kira: [whispering] Stiles, Malia has been awfully quiet…

Malia: Really?! Oh really!?!?

Kira: Yeah, really!

[Everyone Arguing]

Stiles [To Corey]: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here. [Stiles and Corey snicker]

The Pack: [singing happy birthday to Jackson]

Jackson: it was a bit pitchy but I'll let it slide

Stiles: and you're a bit bitchy but we never say it out loud because we're nice people

Jackson: fair enough

Scott: If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?

Lydia: Say goodbye and mend my relationships.

Malia: Something illegal.

Liam: Accept my fate.

Stiles: I would message ten people saying that if they didn’t forward the message to ten other people, I would die tomorrow.

Scott: What?

Malia: That’s fucking awesome. Can I change my answer?

Sheriff: One day you could be a dad too...

Stiles: One day? I am a dad.

Sherrif: Liam and the pack don't count.

Stiles, slamming his fist on the table:They're my KIDS!

Liam: So what do you bring to the team?

Lydia: I'm a Banshee

Scott: I'm a True Alpha.

Stiles: I make good decisions.

Liam: That’s not really a super-

Isaac: No, trust us, he’s our most important member.

Judge: how do you plead?

Isaac: [looks at Stiles]

Stiles: [mouths "not guilty"]

Isaac: hot milky

Stiles, banging his head on the desk: for fuck's sake just lock him up