It’s Hard To Get Away From Grief When It’s Stained Into The Walls Of Your Home, When It’s In Every

I adore this so much. The emotions of the characters can just be felt. I don't know the full context, but even so, it was clear how much they cared about each other, and they truly felt like family.

I wish we could love.

WIP; Out of Sight and Mind

Context: Ari, who has returned to his hometown following his parents death, was a teenage runaway who faked his own death to escape abusive parents. This is a conversation between him and his brother about being in love for the first time since he left, and the childhood that pushed them apart.

Neptune is Ari's childhood best friend, who he loved but dragged into some shit situations.

Edward is Ari's current love interest.

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

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"I loved her, and I haven't loved another person since," Ari whispered with intense soberness to the ceiling. His eyes were red in the glare of the morning sun, yet dark as if the night had never left him.

"I know," Eli sat down with surprising tenderness in his voice - a moment of peace he rarely had, given only for the expressive heartache Ari rarely showed. Not even time could truly sever a brother's love.

"It feels...wrong, somehow."

"Because you love him, or because you're loved at all?" Ari breathed in the air, and it turned into something sickening in his stomach. Nausea fell like waves upon him, his hand finding his forehead just to press down, feel less like every piece of him was falling away.

"I suppose I don't have a leg to stand on, to be upset she lied to my face...after leaving her."

"It broke her into pieces, but it pushed her to her own freedom."

"I was a chain on her."

"You were," it was solemn, truthful, "...you pulled her downwards, and letting go was the only way she'd see the sky again." Ari felt the tears burn, hearing it spoke so plainly. "But you were a teenager, forced to make decisions no teenager should have to make - it'd hardly a blame you chose the wrong one."

"You never forgave me." What if he hadn't changed, what if all these years were a mirage, and he only ended up breaking Edward the way he broke Neptune?

"I never understood." Ari pressed the heel of his hand against his eyes and begged the tears to stop. His body felt hot with the want to curl up in a ball away from Eli, from Neptune, from everyone. He'd hardly had a second of silence since he'd got to this god-forsaken place. "But I overheard you talking to Edward, and I do now."

"I never wanted you to know."

"I know," Eli's voice cracked, "...you subjected yourself to years of my anger to protect me from the truth."

"I wanted you to have good parents, and they loved you-"

"But they hurt you."

"It made me stronger."

Eli shook his head "...not stronger, traumatised, look at you Ari; a boy tells you he loves you, and you feel like it's the end of the world, that's not strength, that's pain."

"I just don't understand."

"You are so much more lovable than any of us have ever made you feel," Eli's voice shook with a deep tremble that reminded Ari of thunder rumbling through the sky. The natural order, disturbed by a tremor in the humidity. "Alicia is better at this than I," he laughed with discarded mirth, "...you are my brother, and you came here for me knowing it would tear you to pieces, and I love you."

Ari didn't know what to say, his mouth opened and closed, but the words burned and stopped in his throat. He desperately wanted to say it, to tell his little brother he would jump in front of a bullet for him, that he'd tear apart the world to keep him safe. But he didn't. He looked at Eli with something dejected and fearful, and just prayed that he understood.

to summarize: you have the moral backbone of a flatworm if your response every time harry potter comes up is to make it about your inability to give up a book

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

a few great films that are free on the internet archive

in decent quality too!

here is the archive collection of these films so you can favorite on there/save if desired.

links below

black girl (1966) dir. ousmane sembene

the battle of algiers (1966) dir. gillo pontecorvo

paris, texas (1984) dir. wim wenders

desert hearts (1985) dir. donna deitch

harold and maude (1973) dir. hal ashby

los olvidados (1952) dir. luis bunuel

walkabout (1971) dir. nicolas roag

rope (1948) dir alfred hitchcock

freaks (1932) dir. tod browning

frankenstein (1931) dir. james whale

sunset boulevard (1950) dir billy wilder

fantastic planet (1973) dir. rené laloux

jeanne dielman (1975) dir. chantal akerman

the color of pomegranates (1969) dir. sergei parajanov

all about eve (1950) dir. joseph l. mankiewicz

gilda (1946) dir. charles vidor

the night of the hunter (1950) dir. charles laughton

the invisible man (1931) dir. james whale

COLLECTION of georges méliès shorts

rebecca (1940) dir. alfred hitchcock

brief encounter (1946) dir. david lean

to be or not to be (1942) dir. ernst lubitsch

a place in the sun (1951) dir george stevens

eyes without a face (1960) dir. georges franju

double indeminity (1944) dir. billy wilder

wild strawberries (1957) dir. ingmar bergman

shame (1968) dir. ingmar bergman

through a glass darkly (1961) dir. ingmar bergman

persona (1961) dir. ingmar bergman

winter light (1963) dir. ingmar bergman

the ascent (1977) dir. larisa shepitko

the devil, probably (1977) dir. robert bresson

cleo from 5 to 7 (1962) dir. agnes varda

alien (1979) dir. ridley scott + its sequels

after hours (1985) dir. martin scorsese

halloween (1978) dir. john carpenter

the watermelon woman (1996) dir. cheryl dune

The worst thing is that there is so much potential for exploring the horror of psych wards from the angle of medical abuse, ableism, forced treatment/drugging, loss of autonomy, power imbalance, demonization, dehumanization, etc, and YET the horror genre keeps defaulting to "insane asylums and psych wards are scary because there are mentally ill people in there"

Hunger's Bite is out!

A specter is haunting the Atlantic!

After growing up together on the luxurious SS Lark, Neeta Pandey and Emery Botwright are ready to start their lives. Emery wants to follow in his father’s footsteps and sail the Lark forever, while Neeta yearns to travel the world. But neither will have any future at all if the Lark’s new owner, Mr. Honeycutt, has his way.

Mr. Honeycutt... The first-class passengers adore him, while he makes the ship a nightmare for the crew. Twisted by unnatural appetites, the rich are actually transforming into something less than human, and their insatiable demands soon push the staff toward a—quite literal— burnout.

Something otherworldly is undeniably aboard the SS Lark, something horribly hungry. But it’s not Wick Farley: vampire, secret agent, and paranormal investigator. Alone and at sea, with only Neeta and Emery to help him, he must uncover the truth about Mr. Honeycutt. And fast—before a ravenous craving for power consumes them all. 

Available in hardcover or paperback, and ebook from your favorite online retailers! Or ask your local librarian!