Thanks For Being Nice To Me. In Return I Will Die For You And Never Leave Your Side And Go Grocery Shopping

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

Happiness Will Come To You.

Me, shivering and shaking bc I cannot regulate my own body temp: maybe I’ll turn down the fan just a tiny bit

My child, the moment my hand touches the control: combusts into fucking flames

cats will just??? walk up to you??? And vibrate???? because they love you So Much??????????

EXCUSE ME, my boobs are down here. Look at them when I speak to you. 💢

they don't make staying up until 3am fun and exciting like they used to

"They're going to bury you three feet deep, because you've only ever been half a man" sounds like a raw ass line from Shakespeare or something buts actually from me yelling at my cat for stealing my sandwich while I was getting a drink.

I'm begging you to turn the sound on