I Found Myself Wishing I Could Purr Back At My Cat, Because I Want Her To Know I'm Happy To See Her,

Valentine's Day gifts from my friend who knows I'm 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 about TWST XD

Heartshackle game night shenanigans :v

An attempt was made..

So many personalities in one video

Ah yes, I love speaking japaspanglish

What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.

Planned Spontaneity

Floyd Leech, Yuu

1.3k

Pants. Shirt. Tie. Waistcoat. Blazer. Socks. Shoes. 

Every day, exactly the same way. 

Get dressed. Go to the kitchen to get Grim and I breakfast. Gather school supplies. Make the trek to the school. 

Every day, exactly the same way. 

This is my routine, and I have no intention of changing it. Every day has a routine, every action, a plan. No detail goes unchecked. Every day, down to the minute. 

When I met Azul, I had to admit that his ability to be so detail-oriented was admirable, even if it did cause me *many* problems with my routine. My routine was upset, and I hated it. Every time that *octopus* caused me a problem with my routine, I wanted to strangle him. 

But then, everything was over. Ace, Deuce, and Grim were no longer under contract, Azul’s overblot was done and over with, and I was able to go back to my wonderful, blissful routine. I never had to speak to him again if I didn’t feel like it. 

When I’d met the Leech twins, they annoyed me too. Dragging me into Azul’s contracts when all I had wanted to do was leave the Heartslabyul freshmen to learn their lesson about forming contracts without a plan. Blocking me every step of the way when I’d tried to fix messes that weren’t mine. 

But they had qualities I’d admired. Jade always kept a cool head. He was always so formal and spoke so eloquently. Always did the things he said he would. He annoyed me, but I liked him. 

As for Floyd… I liked that he never let anyone tell him what to do, for better or worse. He did whatever he felt like doing. He was spontaneous. 

He had something that I lacked. Something I *knew* I lacked. 

I knew how upset I always got when my plans were interrupted, when my routine was broken. 

Maybe that was why I was doing this. No, it was definitely why I was doing this. 

I open the doors to the Mostro Lounge, steeling myself for what’s to come. Finishing my plan for how to make sure this goes in my favor. 

Soon enough, I’m with Azul in the VIP room, preparing to negotiate. 

“So, what brings you here today, Yuu?” Azul places his chin on his hands as he looks at me with that annoyingly sly smile. 

I look back with my usual blank expression, keeping all my intentions and desires close to my chest. “I would like to discuss the possibility of employment at the Mostro Lounge.”

Azul raises a brow. “Oh? We would love to have you. Tell me, why the change in heart since the last time we discussed this?”

“My reasons are none of your business. As for the terms of my employment, I would like to be scheduled…” I start listing off my specifics, going through working hours, positions, and pay, among other things in my usual monotone. 

Everything planned to the last detail. 

Of course, Azul, ever the businessman, tries to negotiate. Tries, but fails. 

I have no intention of compromising, in any case. He knows that. 

Soon enough, I have my contract with Azul for my employment at the Mostro Lounge with every single specification I'd requested. When you threaten to walk out any time a request isn't met, it really gets you somewhere, after all.

I’ll be able to get closer to Floyd now. I’ll use Floyd to desensitize myself to changing plans and routines. 

It was supposed to be nothing more than that. A plan to be more spontaneous. 

“Shrimpyyyy~!” Floyd comes up behind me and places his arms on my shoulders, leaning what seems to be his full weight on me. 

“Floyd. Off. You know I don’t like being touched.” Well, it’s not like he’s going to stop either way. 

“Aww, but that’s no fun~!” He pokes at my cheek a few times as if intentionally antagonizing me. 

Instead of pushing him off of me like I usually would, I just sigh and resign myself to my predicament.

“Sooo, any plans tonight?” He sets his chin on the top of my head, crossing his arms around my shoulders. 

I pause for a moment, thinking about what I was going to do tonight. 

“...No, actually.” The thought surprises me more than anything. *Me*, not have some sort of plan? Ha! I’m going to turn my head and see a pig with wings next to me. 

“Sweet! I’m taking you with me~.” Suddenly, I’m being lifted off the ground with no idea as to where I’m being dragged off to. 

Now, normally, I would be kicking and clawing to get out of this. He was dragging me somewhere against my will, where I had no information about where we were going or what we’d be doing. 

But…I think my little plan worked, because I have simply resigned myself to Floyd’s whims. Or maybe…

Am I even feeling a little…excited? 

No, absolutely not. I’m just…curious. That’s all. Nothing more. 

“Here we are!” Floyd sets me down with a plop, and I almost lose my balance. “The cooks are givin’ out some new sweets I wanna try.” He grabs my wrist and leads me into the crowd of people that seems to part for him as soon as they see him. After all, Floyd's whims are certainly something to be feared, as the general population of NRC would attest to.

I watch on with some mix of nervousness and that same ‘curiosity’ from earlier as Floyd drags me through the crowd. 

Soon enough, the two of us are looking at sweets freshly prepared by the school’s chefs. 

“Ooh, that one looks tasty~! Hmm, no. That one!” Just as easily as he makes up his mind, he changes it seconds later. 

How he can manage to do that just baffles me. Just pick one!

I look at the flavors myself, considering whether I want to buy one for myself. There *are* some pretty interesting sweets…

“Come on, Shrimpy~! Pick one…!” Floyd whines at me from beside me as he munches down on three? Four?? Different kinds of sweets. He finishes one of them off, using his now free hand to poke and prod at me in an attempt to get me to hurry up. 

I swat his hands away with a sharp, “Fine! Fine.” I pick a random item from the shelf, only really seeing what it was after it was handed to me. 

What *is* this?

I stare at it in confusion, never having seen anything like it before. 

“Come on, let’s go wander~.” He takes my free hand, pulling me away from the crowds again and pulling me along various hallways as the two of us, or rather one of us, snacks on the sweets we’d gotten. 

After a while of us walking together, Floyd eating his sweets, and me staring at the abomination that I’d happened to pick, Floyd looks at me.  “You gonna eat that~? If not, give it here.”

I shoot a glare his way, holding my abomination closer. “No, it’s mine.”

“Fineee…” He takes a bit of one of the other sweets he’d gotten, leaving mine alone. 

I eye mine warily for a moment before risking a bite. I *had* picked it, after all. It's a matter of principle. After chewing for a moment…

I look down with a confused look. 

Is this…good?

I take a few more bites, rather surprised that my spontaneous decision had been worth it. 

“Sooo…? ‘S it good?” 

I look up to see Floyd looking down at me with that weird little smile of his. 

“Hahah, you’ve got stuff on your face!” He points at the little spots on my face from my sweet and laughs with that weird little laugh of his. 

I quickly wipe off the specks on my face, turning away from Floyd in a way that makes it obvious I’m embarrassed about it. 

“You’re funny, Shrimpy~. I’m glad I brought you with me.”

I know I thought of context when I made this but

It's

It's gone

WHERE DID MY CONTEXT GO

Anyway

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

MY PRECIOUS PUPPY TEACH CAME HOMEEEEEEE

At long last

Thank you Crewellllll

Children Are Meant to Cry

Lilia Vanrouge, Yuu

1.7k

I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’ve always had to be the strong one, the one everyone could rely on, the one who always has a level head in any situation. I’m not supposed to show any kind of weakness or vulnerability, because if I do, how am I supposed to hold my head high as I play the role of the person who knows what to do? How am I supposed to give advice that I can’t even take myself?

Even after being suddenly sent to a new world, after losing contact with everyone I’ve ever known and loved, even after facing overblot after overblot, and almost dying multiple times, even after everything I’ve faced in Twisted Wonderland, I’ve never been able to bring myself to be vulnerable. 

After all, why should I need to be vulnerable? I’m mentally strong enough to get through everything I’ll ever face, because I’ve been mentally strong enough to get through everything I’ve already faced. I’ve been fine my whole life, I can’t start being ‘not fine’ now. 

I’m not dead. That’s all that matters. 

So, content with this in mind, I put the finishing touches on dinner for Grim and I. Before I’d arrived here, I wouldn’t have spent much time or effort on dinner. It wasn’t worth it when it was just me. But…

I have Grim now. I can’t let him go hungry. 

I bring our plates into the dining room where Grim waits. 

Or…not?

“...Lilia. What brings you here…?” The plates in my hands lower slightly as I focus my attention on the room around me looking for Grim. 

“Oh, not much~! Sebek just needed a study partner and Grim so valiantly offered.”

I raise a brow, knowing very well that Grim wasn’t one to offer to put in actual effort like that. 

Lilia floats up from the chair he’d commandeered and settles in to my left, hovering just around shoulder height. “Well, I offered him some cans of tuna. Kyee hee hee~”

That explains it. 

“And you’re here…why, then?”

“I just thought I’d let you know where he was. I wouldn’t want you to worry.” He floats over to my right side with that smile of his slightly covered by his too-long sleeves. 

I set the plates down, coming up with a new plan for the evening now that Grim was out of the picture. Who was going to eat all this food with me? I sure couldn’t. 

Oh. Maybe…?

“In that case… I don’t suppose you’re free this evening? I wouldn’t want you leaving on an empty stomach, especially since you did me the favor of getting Grim to actually study.” Probably, anyway. 

“Oh? Are you inviting me to dinner~? I’d be delighted!” He settles back into one of the chairs, choosing one by one of the plates I’d set down. 

“Is there anything in particular you’d like to drink? I have water, a few kinds of soda, and if you’re willing to wait a few minutes, I could make some tea.”

“I’ll take a soda. You can surprise me on the flavor,” he replies with a smile. 

I give a nod as I return to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for Lilia’s soda and a drink for myself. 

I return to the dining room, placing Lilia’s drink near his plate and my own drink near my plate. I sit down next to Lilia, picking up my fork and taking my first bite, testing the flavor to make sure it was a good enough quality for Lilia. 

After a moment, I glance over at him to make sure he’s enjoying it. He seems to be enjoying it well enough, seeing the delighted smile on his face and the fact that it’s already almost a third of the way gone. 

I continue to slowly make my way through my own food, still checking on Lilia every few bites to make sure he’s still enjoying the food, or if it seems like there’s anything he needs. 

He seems to notice me checking in on him, because at some point he slows down a bit and looks at me. 

“Is there something on my face~?” he jokes, though he seems to know there’s something more to it, judging by his tone. 

“No,” I reply after checking just to make sure. “Are you enjoying the food?”

“It’s delicious. I might have to get the recipe from you later so I can make it for the boys~! Kyee hee hee!” 

“Oh, well…I kinda just…” How do I get away with *not* telling him the recipe? “Umm… There’s not really a ‘recipe’, per se…”

“Oh, is that so? A shame, really. Maybe I’ll just try to recreate it…?” He looks out the window with a pondering look on his face I *really* don’t like. 

“Or…I can make it for you guys sometime…?” What am I getting myself into here…?

“Kyee hee hee~! Well, I think I might have to take you up on that sometime.” He takes another bite with a smile, and I can’t help but return it. After all, he’s enjoying it. I couldn’t ask for anything more. 

At some point, his expression changes as something seems to cross his mind. He looks at me with an almost pondering look as he takes a few more bites. 

Eventually, he voices what’s on his mind. 

“You really care about people, don’t you?”

I look over at him with a bit of surprise at the sudden question. “I… Where did that come from?” I give a bit of a nervous laugh, now wondering where he intends to take this conversation. 

“Kyee hee hee… You just put a lot of effort into taking care of others. You worked hard on making this food for Grim, you’ve been checking in on me constantly. You always make sure everyone is having a good time.”

I slow down eating a bit, narrowing my eyes ever so slightly at his words. 

Does he intend to use the knowledge that I care about my friends against me? Does he intend to use the knowledge that I’d even *consider* them friends against me?

…No. That’s not in his nature. Right? That doesn’t seem to be what he wants. I think. 

“No need to be so suspicious~! It’s just lovely to see in you youngsters.” He looks at me with a smile, but it seems like he’s analyzing me even closer than before now. 

“...Indeed,” is the only response I can think to muster as I feel his gaze on me, and I find myself wondering just what exactly he’s looking for. I keep my gaze on my food, now wanting nothing more than to avoid his searching gaze. 

Finally, he turns his gaze back to his food, but I still feel like something is on his mind. 

“So, how has your stay here been?” He watches me with that same searching look that I continue to avoid. 

“Good…?” What else am I supposed to say?

“Mmm… Is that so?”

Finally, I meet his gaze with a look that asks ‘What do you want me to say?’

He seems to get it, since he responds with some kind of knowing chuckle. 

But his expression changes slightly. “Well, I suppose I just want to check in. You’ve been through a lot, after all~.”

Is he…concerned about me? I’d better shut this down quick. 

“I’m doing well. Thank you.” I give him a polite smile in an attempt to placate him with his questions. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

His usual smile fades ever so slightly at my response, and it is then I realize that I’ve somehow made a mistake. 

“...Yuu. I’ve seen the look in your eyes from many people in my travels. Those who constantly put others before themselves, those who disregard their own well-being.”

A sense of panic begins to well up in my chest as Lilia seems to show concern for my well-being, and I realize what’s about to happen.

I’m supposed to be the strong one. I’m not supposed to have problems. I’m supposed to be able to take care of myself, always. 

“...You don’t need to put everything on yourself. One so young shouldn’t have to bear that kind of burden on their own.”

No. Stop.

“You’ve been through a lot for someone so young. It’s okay to not be strong all the time.”

My gaze grows distant and my grip on my fork stills and tightens. 

I’m fine. Why is he showing concern? He doesn’t need to. 

“...You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. You’re too young to bear that kind of responsibility.”

Too young? Then why did everything have to happen like that…?

…If I was really too young…then why am I like this?

For some reason, Lilia stops talking. Is he done…? 

He’s still looking at me…

Wait…

Too late, I realize why Lilia had stopped. 

I look down at my plate, seeing a few little droplets of a clear liquid that weren’t there before. 

Am I…crying?

…When was the last time I did that…?

Lilia lifts from his chair, floating behind me and reaching a hand to the top of my head. 

He gently runs his hand from the top of my head to the side, gently repeating the motion a few times with a gentle voice. 

“You’re strong, Yuu. You’ve made that obvious. But you can be weak for a bit.”

After a moment, my fork drops to the table and my hand reaches towards my face to wipe away a stray tear that immediately gets replaced with another. And another. And…another. 

I almost died. I’m stuck in another world and I can’t go back to my friends and family, I can’t even talk to them. I…

Have I really been so stressed about all of this…?

By now, my breathing has been replaced with full-on sobs as Lilia continues to stroke my head. Gentle and comforting, like a father comforting his child. 

A kind of comfort that I haven’t felt in a long time. 

Lilia then pulls me into a hug, holding my sobbing face against his chest as he continues that comforting stroking motion. 

“...There you go. Let it out. Children are meant to cry.”