*•°•* Unconventional Self Care Motivation *•°•*

*•°•* unconventional self care motivation *•°•*

Reasons to stay alive:

- you could meet god and that bastard does not deserve to be graced by your presence 😤

-spite god

-outlive your enemies

-if life wants you dead that badly it will do it itself, don't help it

- your existence annoys someone that you hate and that's powerful

- disappoint your parents (if you have them and want to that is)

Reasons to brush your teeth:

- clean mouth knives hehe

- if they fall out you won't be able to bite homophobes anymore

- future archeologists/paleontologists will compliment how well preserved you are

- be the only person in the nursing home w/o dentures and feel superior for it

- so you can eat (See reasons to eat)

Take your vitamins:

-so that you have strength to run from the police

- so that you don't lose your eyesight (if you have it) and you can watch the downfall of your enemies

- don't get scurvy *cue sea shanties*

Stay hydrated:

- to ensure that you always have to piss 😳 this may seem like a bad thing but... you never know when it could come in handy (the graves of your enemies looking a little dry perhaps?)

- your body is basically a giant water slide. And everyone knows water slides w/o water suck

- this is more of a tip than a reason but tea is equally as hydrating as water and has antioxidants and small amounts of vitamins so technically you can live off of it (like i do lol) if you don't like how water tastes 😌

- if you're dehydrated you won't have as much blood :((

Reasons to eat:

- not everyone can, think about moths. Moths can't eat so enjoy food for the moths that can't

- also gives you strength to run from police

- strength to beat up abusive parents (doesn't have to be your parents)

- chewing regularly makes your jawline sharper and your jaw stronger, also good for biting

Reasons to get enough sleep:

- being unconscious. its not being awake which is pretty great imo

- dream about whatever tf you want with no consequences

- your stuffed animals don't get to come to life until you sleep

Reasons to shower:

- the police dogs will have a harder time following your scent

- wash off dead skin- now the only skin you have is alive

- idk about ya'll but I come up with some of my best comedic material while dissociating in the showers

-cmon bubbles and splashing are still fun no matter how old you are don't lie to yourself

Reasons to go outside:

- don't let the sun forget your face >:( make your threats known to him

- alternatively look at the moon 🥺 need I say more

- you could see someone walking their dog and get to pet it or maybe a stray cat will be friendly and you can pet it 👉👈

- ....vandalize

- find pretty rocks, take then home with you or put them in your pockets for throwing at police cars later

- climb trees, maybe you will scrape your knee maybe you will find something cool like a birds nest or a cocoon

Anyways this was all I could think of right now! Take care of yourselves and feel free to add on to this with your own motivations