This Actually Is Rewiring My Brain As We Speak

Adult Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase are the most surreal power couple in the mortal world.

Annabeth Chase, world renowned architect who was entrusted with repairs and renovation on the Empire State Building…

…and her husband, this guy who was wanted by the FBI for blowing up the St Louis Arch seventeen years ago

was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

Ideal Gravity Falls reboot for me would be if they just released a movie, takes place ten+ years in the future, Dipper and Mabel are adults now going back to gf for the summer and you know there’s a lot of like serious tonal shifts from the original work in that it actually plays a bit more in the horror and drama space that Disney might not have let it originally and one of those dramatic notes could be that when they get to the shack the grunkles aren’t there to greet them and no one really mentions it but they’re talking about stan in the past tense and maybe Dipper gets really defensive every time he’s brought up and this goes on for two hours and we’ve reached the climax and at the last moment it’s revealed that stan and ford aren’t dead or anything they just got pulled over for speeding and Stan got arrested for punching a cop

okay so, everyone is always telling buck that eddie has a resting bitch face, right? and buck is so so so adamant that he doesn’t and he fights everyone on it. he really can’t understand what people mean. he’s baffled when chimney makes jokes about eddie scaring patients with his stony expression. he is so confused when maddie tells him she was a bit intimated by eddie before they ever talked. buck just can’t believe that this is something people think.

until one day hen shows buck a video of eddie just chilling at the station while reading a magazine. and he looks so serious, so frowny. a little bitchy if buck is being totally honest. and then, in the video, buck walks up the stairs and as soon as eddie sees him he lights up. suddenly he’s all sunshine and rainbows. he’s all smiley and he just looks so soft.

and that’s how buck finds out that eddie does have a resting bitch face but buck never sees it because eddie always looks ecstatic when buck is near.

Thinking about how children of Poseidon will always be stronger, have more range than any other big three child.

Like Zeus's domain is mainly in the sky. He's about order. Law. Lightning. Wind. He gets storms as a side product of lightning and wind. But he has control over those; he can make them gentle just as he can make them destructive.

Hades is the dead. His domain is over souls, over the minerals and riches and the fallen mortals, monsters and everything that lies in rest in the earth. He's all about justice for the dead. He doesn't show off his power nearly as much as his brothers because he's more of a judge and overseer than a raging, wrathful god.

But Poseidon? Yes, his domain is the sea but he is so much more. He is also the storm bringer and the earthshaker. He has chaotic power over his brother's primary domains. You'd think that Zeus would be the storm bringer cause he has lightning? No. It's Poseidon. You'd think that Hades would be the earthshaker because the depth of the earth and the underworld is his domain. No. Its Poseidon. And those particular powers that Poseidon has in his brother's domains are not neutral or calm. They are powers of destruction and deadly force. It is not in a storm's nature to be gentle, nor is it in a earthquakes nature to be gentle. Poseidon's powers are predisposed to chaos. (Chaos, the strongest and first of the primordial gods).

And then on top of that, Poseidon has domain over the sea. The sea, which we know even less than our own solar system. Everything from the depth of the sea to the shallow waters. The waves, the creatures within, the monsters within. They're all Poseidon's.

What did Percy say in tlo again? "Kronos knows Poseidon can tip the scales against Typhon?"

Not Zeus, not Hades, not any of the other Olympians or gods. Poseidon.

Yeah.

Poseidon is the strongest Olympian god, and Percy is the strongest demigod and it's not even close.

The full Percy Jackson soundtrack is out now!

About your YouTuber! Percy hc, do you think he would actually know everyone subscribed to him because of the weird background shenanigans or do you think that he’s think they all just find him funny?

okay, I actually have made some more Executive Decisions since I posted that, so let’s just make it clear that:

Percy spent maybe half a day thinking ‘wow I knew I was valid in thinking my girlfriend and sister deserve to be famous’ just because he genuinely hadn’t registered the monster-sized dog or nico crawling out from the shadows behind him as ‘weird’ at first, but then he started reading the comments and was like…..ah,

Annabeth wanted him to immediately delete the videos but he was just like ‘nah it’s too late now we might as well commit’ and started planning his next video lmao. he still didn’t think it was gonna get like, Big tho

demigods and technology don’t mix this is true but by this time the Hephaestus and Athena AND Vulcan kids were all very disgruntled by this and collabed on making a line of products that are monster proof, halfblood suitable, and Hephaestus approved. Percy is using a camera in this line, and that’s why mortals watching his videos aren’t getting blocked by the mist, because….shut up, I said so lol

so again, his videos are mostly tame except for just a few small ‘wtf’ things happening in the background, but it’s enough to get people circulating his videos like ‘hey what the fuck is going on with this guy’ and he gets more and more followers impatiently waiting for updates

after about five months, and article gets posted on buzzfeed about the videos, listing a few theories like, a) it’s photoshopped and cgi-d, although they claim they sent a few clips to video analysists that can’t find any thing fake, and b) this boy is being terrorized by ghosts and demons and he just hasn’t noticed them on camera for some fucking reason, and c) Maybe Us, The Viewers Are The Crazy Ones and d) He’s In Danger And Sending Coded Messages And We Need To Rally Together To Help Him

it trends and his followers SPIKE so Percy decides he should probably do a Q&A and everyone gets hype

except

it’s Percy

He’s sitting on his bed in an orange shirt, but the writing on it is mostly obscured by a blanket. You can JUST see the tip of a spear on the wall above him.  There’s a large cut on the side of his head. He’s got a clear glass of some golden liquid he’s sipping from every now and then. There’s an aquarium on the table next to him, but all the fish in the tank are huddled in the same side, staring at him??? Annabeth is sitting next to him, but she’s not looking into the camera, she’s reading a book, and you can see the cover clearly on screen but no one is able to figure out what language it’s in??? at one point during the video, you hear a horse neighing even though he’s in his fourth floor city apartment and his stepfather comes in to tell him ‘blackjack’s in the kitchen make him leave’

but other than that, everyone tuned into this video excited to get answers….but all the answers Percy gives are like ‘Oh, Estelle is 10 months old! she’s getting so big!’ and ‘Annabeth and I met when we were 12′ and ‘I’m looking at colleges in California but I haven’t committed anywhere yet’ and ‘my favorite subject in school is math’

In the middle of the video he read a question ‘please what is up with that dude that keeps crawling out of your fucking walls p l e ase’ and he responds ‘Oh! That’s my cousin Nico! :)’ and then moves back to the tame boring questions sdkjnckdvm

The very last minute of the video, he reads a question asking if he’s possessed and he’s like ‘No, not anymore’ and Annabeth fucking snorts, the first acknowledgement she’s given the whole q&a. the video immediately just ends there, he doesn’t do a sign off or anything

people FLIP

and the next day he’s just back to posting his usual content. this time features a shot of him walking in a rainstorm, to hood no umbrella, completely fucking dry

youtube drama channels are covering every single video he posts. conspiracy theorists are going fucking wild.

one of these youtube conspiracy channels is 100% run by Leo Valdez. He’s having the time of his goddamn life throwing bullshit out there

Piper McLean 100% has her own channel dedicated to debunking everything Leo says on his channel. They’ve been doing this dance since 9th grade and all of their viewers think they fucking hate each other it’s hilarious to them

so SHE points out that not only are Leo’s theories stupid, but he’s been spotted in Percy’s videos! And he was on fire in one of them! Hello???

Someone then tweets her that SHE’S been spotted in Percy’s videos, a few of them the same ones Leo was in, and she responds to the callout with a Mariah Carey gif and goes silent on twitter for three months

Leo starts insisting that’s Definitely Not Him In Percy’s Videos, Thank You, How Dare You Accuse Me Associating With Not Only The Demonic Forces That Follow Him But Also Piper McLean

Percy tweets out a picture of the 7, featuring Leo and Piper hugging and looking like best friends. Leo responds with a Joanne the Scammer gif and also goes quiet on twitter but keeps making ridiculous conspiracy videos lmao

On screen: ‘Hey, Paul, the internet thinks I’m in league with supernatural forces. What do you think about that?’ *camera slowly zooms in on Paul’s tired face as he looks up from reading a book on the Greek god Poseidon*

everyone realizes one of Percy’s mortal friends from school is also a youtuber so they BOMBARD him and he’s just like ‘Listen Percy just….fucking lives like this. he’s not planning anything. He disappears all the time and comes back covered in burns. one time I went in his apartment without calling first and he met me in the living room with a shield and a sword. Sometimes carriage horses in the city get loose and just follow him around and he holds conversations with them. I think his dad is in the mob. He just lives like this. We just got used to it’ sjkdgkjldsklsd

Percy posts a video called ‘skateboarding down my camps climbing wall!!’ and every comment is ‘WHY IS THERE L A V A?!?!?!?!?’

A video where he sees just How Much he can annoy Chiron and Mr. D before he gets threatened with dolphin-ism. It doesn’t take long, but everyone ignores the guy with glowing eyes yelling about how he’s going to change him into a sea creature in favor of focusing in on the fucking leopard head mounted on the wall that’s moving, roaring and being fed snacks??? 

Rachel goes into Oracle mode and gives out a prophecy in the middle of a live stream and Percy just sighs in annoyance while all the viewers are flipping out like hello isn’t she one of the richest people in the world???

the viewers start trying to decipher the prophecy like they think it’s all planned and Percy’s just slowly dropping some lemony snickett bullshit on them

his videos are ALWAYS trending and he’s one of the most popular vloggers and it’s so funny because 90% of the videos are literally just ‘taking my sister to the park!’ ‘date night with my girlfriend!’ ‘swim team awards ceremony!’ ‘I forgot to study for my history exam!’ like just. the most fucking generic but people are sucked in lmao

He does monthly q&a’s but they mostly go the same way the original one did 

‘what’s with the fucking guy who’s half donkey???’ ‘Grover identifies as a goat, actually, please be respectful of that in the future’

‘who’s that fucking kid that crying on your couch that you ignored the whole video’ ‘that’s actually the Greek god Apollo, he was upset because I wanted back the Led Zeppelin shirt he stole from me’ 

‘am I crazy or was there a 7 foot tall guy with one eye walking around the kitchen eating peanut butter out of the jar’ ‘that’s my baby brother Tyson :)’

‘your friend said your dad’s in the mob but we’ve never seen your father on this channel where is he???’ ‘he, uh…….lives with the fishes?’ (Annabeth groaned at that one lmao)

‘you really vlogged getting struck by lightning and not going to the fucking hospital, huh’ ‘don’t worry, that was just my cousin, she was mad because I stole her nail polish earlier but she wouldn’t kill me over it’

COULD YOU IMAGINE HIM POSTING A VIDEO WITH THE PARTY PONIES AND TITLING IT ‘I ACCIDENTALLY GOT DRAGGED TO FURRY CON’

but overall: Youtuber Percy™ is, in fact, the only valid thing that exists thanks for coming to my TED Talk

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like “oh we’re so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn’t even use your father’s extensive resources that could’ve easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren’t we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession–”