AU Where Jason Gets His Revenge By Becoming A Lawyer And Getting Joker Sentenced To The Death Penalty

will: i don’t need anyone i’m happy with my dogs

will after seeing hannibal when he walks into jack’s office:

fully sober and lucid walking down the street googling "is it normal to get a haircut" "am i allowed to get a haircut" "is the guy at the barber shop going to be mad at me when i go in there"

Imagine Paul and Percy’s first meeting like you have Sally telling Paul her child is the sweetest person on earth who wouldn't hurt a soul while in the same breath she goes

Sally: Speaking of, can you convince your school to accept him?

Paul: Uh sure?

Sally: Great! You know what they say eight time's the charm

Paul: Wait -

So obviously Paul does an Internet search and he finds dozens of articles which show that percy is a terrorist who a) blew up an arch b) dumped his class in a shark tank at age 7 and c) casually kills old ladies according to some twitter user so Paul loses his mind. He doesn't know what to believe

Paul: So.. um has Percy ever visited the arch

Sally: Yeah apparently it was destroyed when he was there

So poor Paul is under the impression that Sally is unaware of her son's terrorist activities and expects to find a 6'2 hulking teen with tattoos but instead meets Percy who's 5'5 and hasn't had his growth spurt yet and loses his mind cause what if he's being blackmailed into being a terrorist??

Paul: *trying to be calm*: Hey

Percy: If my mom likes you we're good

And the fact that Percy is 100% a momma's boy and seems nice if not a bit silent? Paul is losing his mind

was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself

You know how demigods are born in weird ways, right? What if the Hermes kids are actually dropped off by a stork? Like that would be so funny. Some of them don't actually know how a baby is born cause they all think that the stork story is true cause that's how they were born, and everyone in camp just runs with it. Cause they're not as smart as the Athena kids who figured it out on their own, and it's funny.

MORE MORE BATFAM TWITTER!!!!

< check out the ao3 if you’re interested wink wink cough tear >

forever obsessed with percy being weird. off-putting. strange even. a cryptid maybe. an urban legend if I may. my boy is the son of one of the oldest, most powerful gods, has been in FBI's records since the age of twelve, fought and won two wars against immortal beings, went to hell and back. I think he's allowed to be a little odd.