This Series Has Singlehandedly Cured Me Of My Tendancy To Roll My Eyes At Canon Divergences...

This is hilarious, but imagine it actually does go to trial, they start the proceedings, get as far as "for the murder of the man known as the Joker-" and are immediately cut off by the judge breaking his hammer declaring Bruce not guilty on grounds of self defense. Like "do you even HEAR yourself, Prosecution? The JOKER? I agree Mr. Wayne (protesting his guilt and the failure of the legal system to prosecute him properly) this is an outrage, I hereby award you a medal and free therapy for life, DISMISSED!"

I have been thinking lately about a universe where Bruce Wayne killed the Joker.

I want to be clear here, since there are so many longstanding debates on this topic: I do not think Bruce Wayne should kill the Joker. I have just been wondering what would happen if the circumstances aligned in such a way that he did.

And to be clear on a related, yet slightly different topic: when I say I have been wondering about what if Bruce Wayne killed the Joker, I do not mean as the Batman. I mean Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.

Maybe it's kind of an accident? Like, he definitely did intend to hit the Joker, but he's Brucie right now, so he's trying not to look like he knows what he's doing while still doing enough damage to keep the Joker from killing someone, and meanwhile the Joker makes just the wrong move and -

And here we are. Brucie just killed the Joker.

Bruce's reaction here is one thing; he has his one rule for a reason, he's just broken it, he's determined to turn himself in -

His family's reaction is a whole different story. How does Cass feel about this?

How does Jason? Bruce has killed the Joker, just like he wanted, but it wasn't for him, not really, and -

And meanwhile, this happens in front of, say, a gala full of people, so now all of Gotham gets to react to it too.

Average Gothamite, seeing the words BRUCE WAYNE, JOKER, and KILLED in the same headline: OH, NO.

Average Gothamite, once they've processed the order those words are actually in: . . . I did not have that on this year's bingo card.

The city's most famous mass murderer has just been publicly killed by the city's biggest employer/philanthropist/source of tabloid harmless nonsense! Three days before Brucie was making tabloid headlines by tripping into a fountain and somehow losing his shirt in the process! Two weeks before, the newspaper was running a retrospective on the Wayne murders and what donation Brucie was making to help the families of victims this year! The article mentioned how one of his adopted sons had also tragically become a murder victim!

Now this has happened, and Bruce is having a breakdown over breaking his one rule, and the rest of Gotham just assumes that this is because poor Brucie thinks this somehow makes him like the man who killed his parents. They send a huge outpouring of support his way. This in no way helps Bruce's actual breakdown.

Ninety percent of Gotham is sure Brucie didn't actually mean to kill the Joker, and pretty much a hundred percent of them support him whether he meant to do it or not. No one wants to have anything to do with prosecuting this mess. Bruce is trying to make it as clear as possible that he will fully cooperate with the justice system and meanwhile an entire gala full of people is suddenly acting like they could in no way have possibly witnessed events that took place ten feet in front of their faces. Did Bruce kill the Joker? Is the officer sure? That doesn't seem like him. Maybe the Joker just tripped on his own. Marble floors, you know. Very slippery.

Seriously tho, WHAT is that hairstyle? Bright red cornrows with the world's sharpest widow's peak?!

It's got to be like a jughead's hat situation where it's an abstract representation of a known real-world thing, and the real world thing is no longer ubiquitous enough to be instantly recognizable, but damned if I can come up with the explanation.

Norman could be such a good man if only he allowed himself to be. Amazing Spiderman 47

So who's stopping you? Nothing in the technical definition of salad specifies temp :D . I know of at least one unhinged American-stlye diner that refers to stir fry as "a hot salad."

A crime against culinary terminology? Yes. A loophole for food-based rules lawyering? ALSO yes!

if you could only ever eat soup or salad for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

-@the-best-of-waynes

Soup, there's a variety of soups and if i had to choose one it would be tomato soup my Dad's recipe

@lieutenant-gordon

one trek headcanon I have is that plomeek soup is a chai tea situation. plomeek is just the vulcan word for soup, actually. on the first enterprise, having to make do with mostly earth ingredients, t'pol hashed together a simplified version of a comforting soup native to her region of vulcan and one thing led to another and now that regional variation of a single soup recipe is called soup soup by the federation

All of these options feel like saying "ampersand" aloud instead of "and."

It wouldn't be wrong, I suppose. "&" is a symbol for that word, and can be called that.

But why???

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

You know I'm sure you mean a specific 30 issues on a specific run. This is made much funnier, though, by the fact that this is widely applicable enough that I don't know which.

'The greatest of ease my ASS' -Nightwing at some point, probably, and also his entire peanut gallery

for a solid 30 issues of nightwing you just spend the entire time silently begging god to give him one singular win in his miserable life

All the proportionate social skills of a spider.

A reeeeeally big one.

Truly Peter your superpower is fucking up your social life. Amazing Spiderman 17

I guess I always assumed that Gotham was Chicago, NY was NY, and Metropolis was, like, Portland? Seattle? Or maybe some east coast city on account of the water and general Aura of Civility(tm)

To me metropolis Gotham and new York city occupy the same space because they're all supposed to be NYC right. Like Gotham in NJ and the other two in NY and in DC reality the geography is just different whatever. And then I read fics where the author says Metropolis and Gotham have two time zone hours difference so I suppose it's in Kansas now? Or something? Idk I don't America. And that has the same feeling for me as that one MCR fic I read once where Gerard hitchhikes/road trips across the entire USA to get from New Jersey to New York City

NOOOOO! DAMN IT, BILLY-BARD! I love Shakespeare so much, but this one play just will not stop haunting me. I'll never reach the ends of it. It's like a puddle that goes down far enough to have angler fish.

I have been exposed to this more than any other of The Bard's work, and never once by choice. I have been forced to read this play cover to cover four times in school, including for one exhausperated highschool teacher who got the lot of us engaged by giving extra credit to whoever found the most dick jokes. I've seen it performed by every kind of troop from school kids to the actual globe theater. I once got roped into playing a bit part in a performance art street production because I happen to be walking by, and I NEVER CAUGHT THIS?!?

I tip my hat to you, thank you for showing me yet another facet to the peerless jewel I am repeatedly clubbed over the head with whether I like it or not.

It's a perfect sonnet.

14 lines. 3 stanzas in ABAB rhyme, and a rhyming couplet at the end.

It starts off with each of them speaking a whole stanza. Romeo offering up a self depreciating metaphor (a pilgrim at a holy shrine, sinful for wanting to place a kiss on her hand), and Juliet returning it (it's not a sin for a pilgrim to touch the hands of a saint. Pilgrims and the saints hands can touch. )

Then they share a quatraine, keeping the rhyme and rhythm steady, the flirting turning even more overt. (Saints and pilgrims both have lips, yeah? Well, sure, for prayer. Well if a pilgrims hand can touch a saints hand, then their lips...)

Then they each speak half a couplet (the saints dont make the first move, but if its a prayer....well, here I am, praying....), and share their first kiss.

It's flirty and silly and a little irreverent, and they become more and more in sync as they speak.

This is a heightened, fantastical, almost reality bending moment. This is a moment where two lonely teenagers, one who is having her future decided without her and the other fresh from an unrequited rejection, feel the world shift around them.

And the foreshadowing sits at the end of stanza 3. This is an act of faith, but if it cannot be, it will turn to despair.

And I just. The craft of it. The poetry of it. How the form and the rhythm mirror the metaphor and mirror the emotion of it.

This great news about a great fic! Making art more download friendly is a boon to those who, like me, hoard fanworks like a dragon hoards gems.

Turnabout Dishwasher news (it's not really news, but whatever)

not that this will affect too many people, but I found a way to PDF my text box fics without the PDFs looking like garbage and removing formatting. It sort of works on mobile, but generally this is for people who need to download my fics and read them outside of AO3. And if AO3 or my image hosting site ever goes down, this would be the best way to read it.

I'm going to be making a neocities landing page for all my fic PDFs in the near future, so stay tuned for that. In the meantime, I will be re-linking and updating this link on AO3.

This will be where my PDFs will live for now