How To Develop A Brilliant Memory - Pdf

hey! so i was wondering: what are some things that you’ll always buy high end/spend more money on vs things that you’ll save on/buy cheap.

love your blog!

Spend on:

Bras: I cannot say it more emphatically; the quality of your bra will determine the quality of your entire look. If you want to look your best you have got to invest in a great quality bra that fits you perfectly. This is non-negotiable.

Nail polish: Because you don't want to spend 30 minutes applying a $1 nail polish that's going to chip after a few hours. It's best to invest in the nail polish brands that are a bit pricier but last longer because it's ultimately going to be a great investment of your time.

Bed sheets: High thread count sheets are ultimately indispensable- they last longer, wash better & they ultimately feel better. Sleep quality is one of the most important things you can invest in and I promise you great quality sheets will contribute to a better night's sleep.

Cookware: Specifically a great set of knives and pots/pans will take you a longggg way. Since I've begun taking my cooking seriously I've invested in better cookware and I swear on everything my food tastes and looks MUCH better.

Stilettos: I can't quantify the number of times I've had to leave an event early because my feet were literally screaming on account of me wearing cheap stilettos. Trust me, it's not worth it. Spend some time researching great quality shoes that are well reviewed and save yourself money and hours of excruciating pain.

Jeans: When jeans are of great quality, it shows. They hug you better, they conceal imperfections, and they can last decades. I have less than 10 pairs of jeans in total and I don't think I'll ever need any more because the ones I have are high quality and will last forever.

Hair extensions: I've had to learn the hard way that high quality human hair costs money. Yes, you can find a synthetic or virgin wig online for under $200 but within a couple of weeks, it's going to start shedding like crazy and falling apart when you put heat on it. I strongly encourage investing in one or two really high quality wigs/weaves/clip-ins, etc. that are made from raw human hair because they will last you years and save you a ton of money in the long run. The wig I'm currently wearing cost me well over $1000 but I never have to take it off, I've colored it several times with no issue, and it's going to last me years.

Save on:

Makeup products: Makeup isn't that complicated and there's no reason why you should be spending $60+ on a foundation that is made from the same ingredients as most other foundations. I'm not saying that all expensive makeup brands aren't worth their price, but I am saying that you can find perfectly great makeup products at your local convenience store. I recently returned one of my favorite Charlotte Tilbury lipsticks because I took a trip to Primark and found that their $2 lipsticks are WAY creamier, longer lasting, and complimentary on dark skin.

Workout clothes: No, you don't need to spend $80 on a pair of lululemon leggings to have a great workout, especially when there are a ton of brands that are much cheaper and provide higher quality options. And honestly, I'm a big fan of the "random-t-shirt-and-leggings-I-found-at-a-thrift-shop" workout look because I'm not trying to impress anyone at the gym and I'd rather spend my money elsewhere.

Skincare products: Similar to makeup products, the ingredients that actually matter (retionoids, vitamin c, exfoliants, & SPF) are not that expensive so you don't actually need to spend an astronomical amount to get high quality skincare. When looking for skincare products, focus less on price and more on finding ingredients that work for your skin.

Books: In today's day and age it's really not necessary to be paying $20+ on a book that you can likely access online or second-hand. So before running to Barns and Noble to find your next book, head to a local thrift shop or parous through online stores.

Designer items: Because frankly, no one's gonna know nor care whether or not you're carrying the real Chanel classic flap or the fake one you got on DhGate for $75. Unless you can very comfortably drop thousands on a single piece of clothing or accessory, you should just go ahead and have your cake and eat it too by buying the high quality replica version.

Lovingly,

Elle

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Dating 101 (From a Man's Perspective)

One thing that's given me a huge advantage when it comes to dating is the fact that I'm always trying to understand men better. I've pulled aside nearly every single man I've grown close to at some point and asked "So, what do mean really want?". And what I've learned is that most men are pretty much the same when it comes to relationships. So with that, here's the tea on dating from a man's perspective!

All men are obsessed with one thing: Sex.

At their very core, men are obsessed with sex. They think about it constantly. They think about it at the gym, on the subway, at work, at the bar- it's on their minds basically 24/7. And most men will do everything in their power to get sex, including manipulating you to no end just to get your clothes off. So when you meet that gorgeous banker at the club that seems super attentive and engaging, don’t be naïve to the fact that at the very forefront of his mind is likely the hope that you’ll give it up to him by the end of the night. Too many women assume that the initial attention they get from men is genuine when for the most part, it's based on their need for sex. While this reality may be a bit disappointing, it's also kind of amazing. Why? Because if sex controls men, knowing how to use sex to your advantage allows you to control of men. Which brings me to the next point:

Nothing beats delayed gratification.

And I mean absolutely nothing. I know this is a hot take but ultimately, every man I’ve talked to on the matter feels the same way. Withholding sex for as long as possible only facilitates a deeper connection. When you immediately have sex with a man, your physical intimacy level doesn’t line up with the emotional intimacy you’ve built up to that point which can cause issues. It can cause him to value you less (it's silly, but things that are harder to attain are always perceived as more valuable) and lose interest because without an emotional connection, he'll feel like he's gotten what he wanted out of you. So wait for intimacy and once you've waited for as long as you can stand it, wait another month or two. That extra time will allow you to build a deeper emotional connection, allow the pent up excitement to magnetize x1000, and allow the first time to actually mean something. Also, some food for thought: a 2012 study from Cornell University surveyed couples about their relationship happiness, habits, and other intimate questions. Researchers said that participants who waited at least six months to have sex with their partners were actually happier than those who didn't.

Men get insecure too.

If you think you're the only one in the relationship that doesn't like the way your body looks or doesn't feel good enough for your job, you're mistaken. Just because your man isn't as vocal about his insecurities doesn't mean he has any less than you! Men just don't vocalize these insecurities because those who own up to them often feel as though being vulnerable is akin to admitting inadequacy. So they suffer in silence. And so a compliment here and there goes SUCH a long way because frankly, they need it. I always make a point to tell my man when his outfit looks great or when he does a great job on a task and every single time I do the sense of relief and gratitude is palpable. So try to become really attuned to your partner's insecurities and make sure to use compliments to buffer against them!

“He’s just not that into you".

Men are simple: if they want you, they'll do everything in their power to have you. Men have gone to war for women, lost their families for women, and even lost their lives for women. My own grandfather wrote letters every day to my grandmother for an entire year before she let him take her on a date. Trust me when I say that if a man isn't putting his all into a relationship, he's just not that into you. It's not his mommy issues, it's not his shitty job, it's not his depression, he's just not that into you. And as a woman, you have to be able to identify the fact immediately and walk away because it's simply not going to happen. Don't waste your time, just go find a man that is actually into you.

Most men watch porn.

And 99% of the men that do watch porn dedicate a horrifying amount of time watching porn. This is very important to know going into dating because porn creates an utterly false impression of what a normal body looks like and what sexual behavior is really about. It also creates a huge disconnect in a relationship because a relationship is meant to be a mutually satisfying expression of love but porn is about self-gratification and often involves dominating or mistreating the other person. So you have to understand how a man's relationship to porn can or will impact your relationship with him. If you're not comfortable with that impact, you have got to have an honest conversation about it. Personally, I don't feel comfortable with my man watching porn because most of it is downright abusive so I've had to have those uncomfortable conversations and while they're not fun, they're important. But moral of the story: yes, most men watch porn.

All men want to be heroes

And more importantly, they want to be heroes in the eyes of their partners. They need to feel like the knight in shining armor, the protector, and the savior to be content in the relationship. The "Hero Instinct" coined by Bauer, in a nutshell, is the fundamental need that men have to feel irreplaceable. When you take that role from them, they resent you. So sit back and let them feel like heroes. Let them hold the door open for you, replace that lightbulb, wipe your tears when you're sad, rescue you from an uncomfortable situation, etc. Most importantly, compliment them liberally when they do step up. Doing so will allow them to feel secure and in control, and in return allow you to feel cherished and cared for.

No man can resist one thing

If there's one thing that's irresistible to all men, it's motherly love and affection. A man's relationship with his mother is what allows him to develop vulnerability and intimacy in romantic relationships. So when you give a man that warm and loving energy, all guards will drop. He will become more attentive and caring, he will become more honest and respectful, and he will trust you more. Don't believe me? Next time you have some free time, gently grab your man by the arm, lead him to a comfortable sitting area, pull his head into your lap, and stroke his hair. Don't say anything, just allow him to lay and relax. I can guarantee you that he'll become putty in your arms and open up in ways he never has. So try to show your man that nurturing side of you whenever you can and watch the relationship transform significantly.

Lovingly,

Elle

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The actuality of things is that you have to let go of your old self to get the what you desire. The old self has to go as it cannot exist in tandem as the new version. It is either or. There is nothing for you in the past, the past does not exist. What exists is what you remember, nothing more. To heal you have to stop going back. You have to get rid of the old self to allow welcome the newness. The comfort of the old self is a fallacy.

What’s the purpose of worrying when God always works things out for me

Hi Elle,

Did you take any etiquette classes, or red any books about etiquette? If so what did you take away from it? In general what is some basic etiquette everyone should know?

Yes, my mother made my sister and me take etiquette classes when we were growing up, where we learned how to make small talk, use cutlery properly, do the fox trot, and all that. It felt like torture at the time, but now that I'm an adult, I'm incredibly grateful for it. There are countless teachings I believe everyone should know, but I'll keep it simple and list the basics:

Socializing:

Greetings and Introductions:

Initiate Greetings: In formal settings, greeting the host and senior individuals first is polite.

Introduce Yourself with Confidence: When introducing yourself, make eye contact, smile, and offer a firm (but gentle) handshake.

Remember Names: Pay attention to names during introductions, and try to use them in conversation to show attentiveness.

Conversation Etiquette:

Avoid Monopolizing Conversations: Engage in a balanced dialogue exchange; avoid dominating the conversation.

Graceful Interruptions: If you must interrupt, do so politely with a soft “Excuse me” or “May I add…?”

Ending Conversations: Close conversations gracefully, e.g., “It was a pleasure speaking with you,” before moving on to another guest.

Small Talk and Topics:

Safe Topics: Stick to light, neutral topics like travel, the arts, or current (non-controversial) events.

Avoid Over-sharing: Keep personal matters private; maintain an air of mystery and sophistication.

Dining:

Seating Etiquette:

Wait to Be Seated: Wait until the host signals to sit, or until you’re guided to your seat.

Seating Order: If you’re hosting, guide guests to their seats based on seniority or guest of honor status.

Table Manners:

Utensil Use: Start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress. After you've cut your food, make sure you move your for to your left hand even if it feels counterintuitive,

Bread and Butter: Tear off a small piece of bread, butter it on your plate, and eat it, rather than buttering the entire slice.

Resting Utensils: When pausing, place utensils on the plate in a “resting” position, such as crossed or angled.

Handling Courses:

Soup Etiquette: Spoon soup away from you and sip from the edge of the spoon without slurping.

Pacing: Match your pace to the host or the most senior individual at the table. Don't rush or lag behind.

Events:

RSVP and Invitations:

Timely Response: Respond to invitations promptly and never bring uninvited guests unless explicitly allowed.

Respect Time: Arrive on time, especially for formal events, but not more than 15 minutes early.

Host and Guest Responsibilities:

Host Etiquette: As a host, introduce guests to each other, especially if they don’t know anyone else.

Guest Behavior: Engage with other guests, but don’t cling to one person for the entire event. Mingle politely.

Handling Alcohol:

Moderation: Drink alcohol in moderation. Know your limits and avoid overindulgence.

Toast Etiquette: Stand if a toast is being made in your honor, and wait to drink until after the toast is given.

Dressing:

Dress Code Adherence:

Understand the Code: Whether it’s black tie, cocktail, or casual, always adhere strictly to the dress code specified on the invitation.

Subtle Elegance: Opt for classic, understated pieces that are elegant but not overly flashy.

Grooming and Accessories:

Impeccable Grooming: Make sure your hair, nails, and makeup are neatly done and appropriate for the occasion.

Minimalist Accessories: Choose simple, elegant accessories that complement but do not overpower your outfit.

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#study tips

How to learn a language when you don’t know where to start:

General Plan:

Weeks 1 and 2: Purpose:

Learn the fundamentals sentence construction

Learn how to spell and count

Start building a phrase stockpile with basic greetings

The Alphabet

Numbers 1 - 100

Subject Pronouns

Common Greetings

Conjugate the Two Most Important Verbs: to be and to have

Basic Definite and Indefinite Articles

Weeks 3 and 4: Purpose:

Learn essential vocabulary for the day-to-day

Start conjugating regular verbs

Days of the Week and Months of the Year

How to tell the time

How to talk about the weather

Family Vocabulary

Present Tense Conjugations Verbs

Weeks 5 and 6: Purpose:

Warm up with the last of the day-to-day vocabulary

Add more complex types of sentences to your grammar

Colours

House vocabulary

How to ask questions

Present Tense Conjugations Verbs

Forming negatives

Weeks 7 and 8: Purpose:

Learn how to navigate basic situations in a region of your target language country

Finish memorising regular conjugation rules

Food Vocabulary and Ordering at Restaurants

Money and Shopping Phrases

Present Tense Conjugations Verbs

Weeks 9 and 10: Purpose:

Start constructing descriptive and more complex sentences

Adjectives

Reflective verbs

Places vocabulary

Weeks 11 and 12: Purpose:

Add more complex descriptions to your sentences with adverbs

Wrap up vocabulary essentials

Adverbs

Parts of the body and medical vocabulary

Tips for Learning a Foreign Language:

Learning Vocabulary:

What vocabulary should I be learning?

There are hundreds of thousands of words in every language, and the large majority of them won’t be immediately relevant to you when you’re starting out.Typically, the most frequent 3000 words make up 90% of the language that a native speaker uses on any given day. Instead try to learn the most useful words in a language, and then expand outwards from there according to your needs and interests.

Choose the words you want/need to learn.

Relate them to what you already know.

Review them until they’ve reached your long-term memory.

Record them so learning is never lost.

Use them in meaningful human conversation and communication.

How should I record the vocabulary?

Learners need to see and/or hear a new word of phrase 6 to 17 times before they really know a piece of vocabulary.

Keep a careful record of new vocabulary.

Record the vocabulary in a way that is helpful to you and will ensure that you will practice the vocabulary, e.g. flashcards.

Vocabulary should be organised so that words are easier to find, e.g. alphabetically or according to topic.

Ideally when noting vocabulary you should write down not only the meaning, but the grammatical class, and example in a sentence, and where needed information about structure.

How should I practice using the vocabulary?

Look, Say, Cover, Write and Check - Use this method for learning and remembering vocabulary. This method is really good for learning spellings.

Make flashcards. Write the vocabulary on the front with the definition and examples on the back.

Draw mind maps or make visual representations of the new vocabulary groups.

Stick labels or post it notes on corresponding objects, e.g when learning kitchen vocabulary you could label items in your house.

How often should I be practising vocabulary?

A valuable technique is ‘the principle of expanding rehearsal’. This means reviewing vocabulary shortly after first learning them then at increasingly longer intervals.

Ideally, words should be reviewed:

5-10 minutes later

24 hours later

One week later

1-2 months later

6 months later

Knowing a vocabulary item well enough to use it productively means knowing:

Its written and spoken forms (spelling and pronunciation).

Its grammatical category and other grammatical information

Related words and word families, e.g. adjective, adverb, verb, noun.

Common collocations (Words that often come before or after it).

Receptive Skills: Listening and Reading

Reading is probably one of the most effective ways of building vocabulary knowledge.

Listening is also important because it occupies a big chunk of the time we spend communicating.

Tips for reading in a foreign language:

Start basic and small.  Children’s books are great practice for beginners. Don’t try to dive into a novel or newspaper too early, since it can be discouraging and time consuming if you have to look up every other word.

Read things you’ve already read in your native language. The fact that you at least know the gist of the story will help you to pick up context clues, learn new vocabulary and grammatical constructions.

Read books with their accompanying audio books. Reading a book while listening to the accompanying audio will improve your “ear training”. It will also help you to learn the pronunciation of words.

Tips for listening in a foreign language:

Watch films in your target language.

Read a book while also listening along to the audio book version.

Listen to the radio in your target language.

Watch videos online in your target language.

Activities to do to show that you’ve understood what you’ve been listening to:

Try drawing a picture of what was said.

Ask yourself some questions about it and try to answer them.

Provide a summary of what was said.

Suggest what might come next in the “story.”

Translate what was said into another language.

“Talk back” to the speaker to engage in imaginary conversation.

Productive Skills: Speaking and Writing

Tips for speaking in a foreign language:

If you can, try to speak the language every day either out loud to yourself or chat to another native speaker whether it is a colleague, a friend, a tutor or a language exchange partner. 

Write a list of topics and think about what you could say about each one. First you could write out your thoughts and then read them out loud. Look up the words you don’t know. You could also come up with questions at the end to ask someone else.

A really good way to improve your own speaking is to listen to how native speakers talk and imitate their accent, their rhythm of speech and tone of voice. Watch how their lips move and pay attention to the stressed sounds. You could watch interviews on YouTube or online news websites and pause every so often to copy what you have just heard. You could even sing along to songs sung in the target language.

Walk around the house and describe what you say. Say what you like or dislike about the room or the furniture or the decor. Talk about what you want to change.This gets you to practise every day vocabulary.

Tips for writing in a foreign language:

Practice writing in your target language. Keep it simple to start with. Beginner vocabulary and grammar concepts are generally very descriptive and concrete.

Practice writing by hand. Here are some things you can write out by hand:

Diary entries

Shopping lists

Reminders

What could I write about?

Write about your day, an interesting event, how you’re feeling, or what you’re thinking.

Make up a conversation between two people. 

Write a letter to a friend, yourself, or a celebrity. You don’t need to send it; just writing it will be helpful.

Translate a text you’ve written in your native language into your foreign language.

Write a review or a book you’ve recently read or a film you’ve recently watched.

Write Facebook statuses, Tweets or Tumblr posts (whether you post them or not will be up to you).

Write a short story or poem.

Writing is one of the hardest things to do well as a non-native speaker of a language, because there’s no room to hide. 

There are lots of ways to improve your writing ability, but they can be essentially boiled down to three key components:

Read a lot

Write a lot

Get your writing corrected

You can't mess up anything that is meant for you.