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Goose: *slams books down in front of Slider* 

Goose: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night. 

Slider: You could have said literally anything else. 

Goose: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble. 

Slider: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

Grab myself a pilot

Gender Neutral Reader

Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x Reader

You hit the bar just out of curiosity, not expecting to actually talk to any of the pilots. However, one of them has his sights set on you, and he’s not going to let go easily.

♡♡♡

You went mainly for the sake of going. The bar was known for being a prime location of Naval aviators. You and your friends always teased that you would each go and get yourself a pilot for a night, but never actually went ahead with it. Tonight you wanted to go and just look. You just wanted to see the place for yourself.

So, here you are, sitting alone at the bar, drink in hand and eyes on the crowds. Every other person in here was in uniform, so there were most definitely pilots in the room. Nothing to stop you from getting one for yourself for the evening, but you chose not to.

Wouldn’t matter anyway, as after taking a small sip of your drink, someone comes up beside you. You glance up, wondering if you needed to move, but the man seemed content with leaning against the bar.

“Hey, I’m here to rescue you.”

You instantly stop in place, brows pulled together as you try to decipher what that was suppose to mean.

“Rescue me?”

The man in front of you was one of the pilots. Tall, aviator glassed hanging from his shirt.

“Call me Goose, and yes. Ice has his sights set on you and we thought we would swoop in before he could.”

Keep reading

I love this

Okay, so… idk why that came to my mind but I’ll roll with it.

Also there are surely some discrepancies in timelines and such but it’s an AU and I don’t really look for accuracy here

WifeSwap!AU 

- The chief of the Southern Water Tribe is like “Oh shit, we have only like seven benders left. We can’t afford another attack of the Fire Nation” and he meets up with Fire Lord Azulon to propose a peace treaty. Only Azulon’s an asshat and he’s like “Peace and no further attacks on you? Well, you can have that, no problem, but for that we’ll need tokens. You can still have your benders but we will trade nonbending people between our two cultures… sort of a slave trade deal. You can do whatever you want with the people we send you and we can do whatever we want with those you send us. Oh! And of course, the Southern Water Tribe will raise our flag additionally to yours and, before I forget it, you’re obligated to send us Water Tribe specialities as our nobility finds them quite… interesting.”

And the chief is overwhelmed and can’t quite understand why the slave trade thing has to happen (it’s because Azulon’s eager to see if he can manipulate the genetics into his favours so that they’ll end up building a waterbending force additionally to a firebending one (which they can use as healers if they have that gift), firebenders born into the Southern Water Tribe also are sort of lifetime test subjects who show whether they can remain in such conditions or not (also if they can be trained to withstand the cold and become better benders that way) and most of his war council consists of those creepy old men who are weirdly obsessed with “exotic” features) but he has no other choice but to agree because he knows another (last) attack is on the horizon. It’s better to essentially become a Fire Nation colony than to lose all of their benders for good, he thinks.

- Fast forward a couple of years. Azulon has managed to gain forty waterbenders by mostly trading men from the Water Tribe for women from the Fire Nation. As you know men can um… make a lot more children in a short period of time than women. The Southerners aren’t really treated as people and more as concubines while the Fire Nation people in the south are treated as equals (and become enamoured with the culture - because they’ve always known only the strictness of the Fire Nation.) and they bring equality for men and women because now there are more women than men => leads to a fighting force consisting of men and women.

- One day Ozai really pisses off his father. It’s a minor thing, really, but it leads to his fiancé getting shipped off to the Southern Water Tribe and he gets the most fierce nonbending warrior woman of the Water Tribe as his wife instead - Kya. She is straight up able to make him eat dirt and refuses to be treated as a slave. Hakoda gets Ursa - this meek, shy girl who refuses to raise her voice or look him in the eyes. There’s a whole subplot for Hakoda and Ursa slowly getting together while Kya dominates the shit out of Ozai because she wants kids and has no hope of ever returning to Hakoda (her true love). She sort of takes over the Fire Nation after Azulon’s… unfortunate death.

=> Kya and Ozai’s children are Zuko and Katara while Ursa and Hakoda’s are Sokka and Azula (who Ursa names after the man who essentially set her free)

- just. think. of. the. implications. 

- Zuko is allowed to be a soft boi and because Kya all but overtakes the government, there’s never an Agni Kai between Ozai and Zuko. Also Ozai’s forced to love his children. Kya won’t take a no.

- Kya loves her two children equally. She doesn’t mind that Zuko’s a firebender. It’s just the way things are.

- When Ozai foolishly asks his father if he can have the throne after Prince Lu Ten’s death and Azulon asks for Zuko to die Kya fucking explodes and stealthily poisons the Fire Lord but with such a slow acting poison that nobody can trace it. => Ozai’s like “DAmn wife, poisoning my dad?? Kinda hot ngl…” 

- So, like, Ozai’s more and more showing his human side because Kya just yeets the throne out of his hand (”No, someone unstable like you is not going to reign a freaking country, what the hell? Gimme those documents, husband.”) and after being manhandled into caring for his kids he has those little moments in which he shows that he can, in fact, love but it’s burrowed under layers upon layers of jealousy, hatred, anger and manipulative demeanour. Kya’s not one to turn down a challenge, though.

=> so. many. trips. to. ember island.

- Katara’s a fierce thing. She loves her brother, feels conflicted on her country and gives like a speech a day to the personnel who cowered under Azulon. Her waterbending is treated as something desirable by Ozai who, in turn, makes sure she gets teachers but he’ll also imitate Iroh (only this once, of course, and he’d never say he saw a merit in an idea his brother of all people had) by also teaching her firebending forms. Katara’s so dangerous but she’s still herself. In this AU, her healing abilities come when Zuko falls from a roof and breaks his leg.

- Ursa and Hakoda take things slowly. Initially, there’s a major heartbreak on Hakoda’s side, of course, because he really loved Kya wholeheartedly but slowly (and I’m talking real slow - like slow burn times 3) he starts warming up to Ursa who doesn’t know how to act in this new society she’s been thrown into. Hakoda shows her how to fight… ugh, that’s so cute I CAN’T and then she someday is gifted a bethrotal necklace but it’s dark red and omg utreghuigheguhenffberfievbhue

- Sokka and Azula are siblings. This is interesting on different levels because for one, Sokka’s a nonbender. Meaning that he only can impress with his boomerang and intelligence while his little sister’s a goddamn firebending prodigy who can?? Shoot lightning??? Wtf???

- Hakoda is Best Dad and instantly sees Azula’s unhealthy desire of perfectionism early on and sends her to the tribe’s psychiatrist. She still has anger outbursts but she is a lot more stable than in canon. Also, she’s obsessed with Sokka learning new fighting styles. She won’t stop arguing about the merits of him learning the sword or him learning the bow or him learning the art of chi blocking or him learning… basically, it’s Azula’s form of care but it annoys Sokka to no end (even though he loves his little sister too, obviously).

- There is not an ounce of sexism in Sokka because… um… have you seen his sister?!

- So, one day, there’s a letter from the Fire Nation. To Hakoda. Saying “Hey, what’s up, my old fiancé? I took over the Fire Nation - how about we meet up some time for a renewed peace treaty and to show off our kids?” And Hakoda’s like “Omg, Kya. What the hell?” but he grins the whole time and is so glad that his almost-wife is thriving. He wouldn’t have thought she’d give in easily but to hear the good news lifts a rock off his heart. Ursa’s a little bit hesitant but Hakoda tells her that she’s his wife now and a meeting between the two couples won’t change that.

- They all meet up when Sokka & Zuko are 14 and Katara & Azula 12-ish; surprisingly, it goes super well? Oh, well… apart from the fact that Katara and Azula begin arguing like crazy when they’re on Southern Water Tribe territory and accidentally free the Avatar.

- So now they have the Avatar.

- But Aang’s kinda not needed all that much because Ozai sure as hell won’t do anything to capture him - not when Kya’s been stopping a war that he slowly begins to see was totally f-ed up

- Aang grows up with Katara, Sokka, Zuko and Azula at his side. They then later on stumble upon a lemur, a Kyoshi warrior and Toph during one of their trips (which they can do only when they’re at least 14 because Kya isn’t going to let her kids roam around when they barely hit puberty yet.)

- Sozin’s Comet comes and goes. Ozai guesses he could have technically taken out the Earth Kingdom but who the hell does that kinda stuff? He’s not a villain in some theatrical play or something.

- The war ends for sure when Ozai finally gives in and signs the peace treaty between the different remaining nations (and Aang as the last airbender). It’s not like everything’s alright now that they’re not attacking but it’s a lot better than before. 

Haha. I love it

Twilight AU where Bella is rightly Creeped the Fuck Out by Edward rather than intrigued by him and, hoping to defuse the situation before it becomes a Thing, decides to talk to his “sister” about his behavior

What Bella knows about the fallout: Rosalie is out of school for a couple of days, and upon returning gives Bella a thumbs up from across the lunch room but offers no further explanation. Edward is absent from school for a couple of weeks, even when the rest of the Cullens are all there, and then carefully gives her space from then on out.

What Bella does not know about the fallout: Rosalie “Rapist Eater” Hale tore her surrogate brother’s arm off at the shoulder and beat him around the head with it while yelling “Don’t Stalk Girls” until Emmet and Jasper pulled her off of him and made her give the arm back.

Real Men Wear Tiaras || Iceman

summary: Olivia desires to hold a tea party with Iceman turning into the Ice Queen. It's fingernail painting, pink fluffy boas, and glittery tiaras for this fighter pilot. Tom will do anything to make sure his baby girl is happy.

pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x Wife!Reader

✧ Iceman masterlist || My Library

Olivia, the bright and bubbly little girl who had pretty blonde hair and crystal blue orbs, peered up at her daddy who was seated behind his desk, looking over a last-minute report an admiral sent over to him. With a doll in one hand, and a hot pink boa in the other, the four-year-old waited patiently. 

Through his reading glasses, Ice could feel the stare of his baby. You and Iceman’s son, Riley, were out with a couple of your friends for a playdate with the boys, leaving Olivia at home with her father. 

“Yes, Angel?” Ice finally peels his eyes off the screen of his computer.

Olivia giggles to herself. Holding her boa and doll, she blinks. Long eyelashes fan along her sweet little cheeks, a light dusty shade of pink covering her skin from how hard she was running earlier. 

“Can we have a tea party?” She asks him in the cutest voice. Ice feels his heart tighten, knowing that voice and those big blue eyes would do him in. Peeling his glasses off his eyes, he contemplates his daughter. Picking her up, he plucks at the pink boa. 

“Just us? Or is Rosie, Snow White, and Maggie joining us?” He questions, referencing her three favorite dolls, one of which was Rosie, a blonde Barbie who was in her hands currently. 

“All of us!” Olivia proclaims. “This is for you, daddy,” She puts the boa around his neck. Ice folds his neck at the light tickling, shaking his head. 

“Alright, then. Let’s go have a tea party.” Ice declares, turning his computer off. Olivia shrieks with excitement, scrambling to get out of Ice’s lap. 

“I have to go find your tiara!” She squeals.

“My what?” Tom jerks his head up, but it was too late. Olivia was much faster, her legs pushing her toward her bedroom. She had a tea set that Tom’s mother gifted her for Christmas, and it was one that she swore by. Every tea party whether it was with you, Ice, or both of you, included this tea set. 

Ice sighs to himself, moving into the kitchen to make actual tea. Olivia preferred the real thing. It was easy when she was two to make her believe that water served as tea, but now that she was four, somehow she grew much wiser. After Ice fixes it and lets it cool, he looks to see Olivia rushing forward with the teapot.

“Here, daddy!” She says, handing it to him.

“Thank you, baby,” Ice responds, taking the teapot from her. He fills it up and soon, he’s being whisked to her bedroom where her table was. She decorated it with some toys and set her dolls Snow White, Rosie, and Maggie in their chairs, leaving two spots open.

“Maggie, Rosie, and Snow White – The Ice Queen is here!” Olivia announces, holding her sparkly tiara. Tom’s eyes double in size. She was seriously going to make him wear it. She marches over, humming loudly as she sets the tiara atop her father’s head. 

“I dub thee Ice Queen Ka… Ka… Katanzsy!” She implodes. She still had a hard time pronouncing her last name. 

Ice smiles. “Repeat after me, baby… Ka,”

“Ka,” 

“Zan,” 

“Zan!” 

“Sky,” 

“SKY!” 

Ice grins. 

“That’s it, Angel! Kazansky.” 

Olivia grins. “KATANZSY!” 

Ice exhales with a laugh. “You’ll get it,” He kisses her head. 

As he pours the tea into the tiny cups, Olivia giggles. “Pinkies out, daddy!” She reminds him. Tom smirks, sticking his pinky out as they share some tea. Olivia is babbling onto her dolls, telling them that they must respect Iceman because he was their Ice Queen. 

Iceman couldn’t help but wonder. If his little girl became a naval aviator like him, would she dub the nickname Ice? Would he lead a legacy that she could carry on? 

It makes a lump form in his throat at the mention. As the tea party comes to an end, Olivia smiles. “Daddy, will you paint my nails, please?” She asks him.

How could he say no? He’d give this baby girl anything she wanted. He’d hand the world to her on a silver platter if it meant he would see that darling smile. Soon the father-daughter duo is on the floor with paper towels spread around. Iceman is holding a deep concentration on the tiny nails of Olivia, coloring them a hot pink. She loved anything hot pink.

And he did so while still wearing the glittery tiara and pink boa. After he successfully painted Olivia’s fingernails, she erupted with giggles.

“Your turn!” She exclaims, taking the cap to the nail polish. Iceman rolls his eyes with a laugh, knowing he should’ve seen this coming. So, without giving her any lip, he puts his fingers in front of her. One by one with a deep concentration that matched his face earlier, Olivia did a rather good job of painting his nails. 

Iceman holds them up for his daughter to examine. “Well? Are these nails fit for the Ice Queen?” he questions with a smile. 

Olivia nods her head. She puts her fingertips on his.

“We match!” She squeals, throwing her arms around his neck. Tom feels himself begin to melt. He loved this baby so much. 

When you arrived with a sleeping Riley on your shoulder, you were greeted by the sight of Ice donning his tiara, pink boa, and bright nails. 

“Well, it seems you two had fun,” You say, putting your keys in the bowl. Ice grins, nodding his head.

“We did.” 

The very next day, Ice went to work as usual. And when he walked in, Slider and Hollywood were the first to notice the pilot’s rather blinding choice of nail color.

“Whoa, Iceman. You got somethin’ to tell us?” Slider laughs.

Maverick walks around the corner to see the commotion. 

“Olivia got you, too?” He asks with a slight gulp. 

Ice’s eyebrows knit together. “What happened?” 

Slowly, Maverick holds up his own hands, but his fingernails were blue and pink.

“Maddie Mitchell,” He announces.

The two pilots smiled widely, Hollywood and Slider glancing between them.

“So, that’s what it’s like to have daughters?” Slider asks.

Iceman chuckles.

“We do anything to make those girls happy. Right, Maverick?” 

Maverick nods.

“Anything,” He agrees. 

Iceman and Maverick would wear their nail polish with pride.

Clone Soulmate AU Series

A Masterlist of all my fics for my Soulmate AU series. All of them contain smut so minors vanish.

MAIN MASTERLIST

Blessed Silence - Tech x reader

Monochrome - Imperial!Crosshair x medic reader

Jaig Eyes - Rex x medic reader

Carry Me Home - Cody x reader

Danger - Wrecker x reader

00:00 (Zero O'Clock) - Hunter x reader

Cabur - Wolffe x reader

Grey - Jesse x reader

Healing Touch - Kix x reader

Lost Time - Gregor x reader

The Soldier and The Spy - Fives x reader

See You In My Sleep - Howzer x reader

Dream of You - Echo x reader

Blurbs:

The Thing About Soulmates

On Soulmate Rejection

A Little More On Rejection

OF LIGHT & DARK - Masterlist

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker encounter a Sith on the planet of Kamino.

She goes by the name Darth Kyjah.

Little do they know what the future holds for the three of them.

Also on AO3.

Chapter I: Darth Kyjah

Chapter II: The Jedi Council

Chapter III: The Chosen One

Chapter IV: General Grievous 

Chapter V: Meditation

Chapter VI: Revelations pt. 1

Chapter VII: Revelations pt. 2

Chapter VIII: Memories

Chapter IX: Answers

Chapter X: Apprentice

Chapter XI: Confessions & Explanations

Chapter XII: Darth Sidious

Chapter XIII: The Meeting*

Chapter XIV: Ultimatum

Chapter XV: Darth Maul

Chapter XVI: Attachment

Chapter XVII: Choices

Chapter XVII: Devotion*

Chapter XIX: The Final Battle

Chapter XX: Epilogue

Taglist: @lysawayne @pinkiemme @simpywankenobi

I wish i would’ve thought of this when I was in school

False God Masterlist

Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader

“I’m with you because everything you do, you do because you know it’s right. I’m with you,” he whispered now, leaning in to rest his forehead against hers. “I’m with you because you remind me that there is good in this world. And I would die before I let that good be lost…I would die for you, if it meant the world got to see what you had to offer.”

False God Playlist

A Terrible Timeline

A Permanent Paycheck (drabble)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Three Good Things (drabble)

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Religion’s in Your Lips (drabble)

Part 13

A Love Like Religion (drabble)

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Devils Roll the Dice (drabble)

Part 17

Part 18

Paper Cut Stings (drabble)

Blind Faith (drabble)

A Really Good Lawyer (drabble)