I’m Dealing With This Myself Right Now. I Know I’ve Had Food Issues All My Life But Wth Body? Why

Things to think about and ponder

fully personal opinion

see many autistic people online treat someone calling self “high functioning” as a red flag, and some view it more extremely as irredeemable and make immediate assumption about person.

and i don’t… fully agree?

like of course see where they come from. there definitely are autistic people who identify as “high functioning” (high functioning autism, HFA) or “aspie” to separate self from the other autistics because they look down on other autistics. others may even believe HFA is this new evolutionary goal and people with HFA and only high functioning autism is better than everyone else, allistics included. they are yucky.

i carefully curate n select my internet experience because know if get mad, won’t be able to step away. so i don’t see these people much at all online. also because of dominant views in online autism community, these aspie supremacy HFA people don’t really participate in online actually autistic community.

but the reason i say i dont fully agree is because….

for so long me as a higher support needs level 2/3 austistuc and my friends who are similar or have more support needs as me & may be labeled “low functioning”, we been spoken over in online autistic community. dominant view of autism in online actually autistic community say every autistic all the same just mask differently or stuff like that. can look at my other posts for more context.

so, i really do appreciate when… how to say… an autistic respond to my posts say “i’m high functioning and i agree/thank you for bringing light to issue/etc etc.”

like. call themself as “high functioning” to, yes, separate themselves from me, not in the “im better than you i worth more than you”, but in the way of “i acknowledge me being/being seen as high functioning means i have different experiences than you, and on higher support needs/level2 3/low functioning issues i don’t have the lived experience and i need to listen.”

like i fully appreciate the latter, you know?

it’s also okay to say like. “while i don’t identify as high functioning, i do acknowledge i am often seen as high functioning, and that means i get treated better than those called low functioning.”

anticipate some people will say “well there still are better terms out there, like low support needs.” and the thing is, high functioning, levels, and support needs may all be trying to describe similar things, but they don’t neatly translate to each other. they don’t exactly mean same thing. “high functioning” doesn’t necessarily always mean low support needs.

and it not my place to tell other people how to self identify!

also because, i do like functioning labels when voluntarily used as self descriptor.

so, TLDR, i do oppose professionals & other people forcibly labeling autistics with functioning labels, i do hate those aspie supremacist high functioning autistics. but i think there is more nuance (always more nuance) to the “call self high functioning = bad” conversation. sometimes really do appreciate when someone self describe use “high functioning” to note difference in autistic experiences.

idk just personal thoughts. idk make sense.

WIP #3

Didn’t make as much progress as in days before, but with for good reasons! I got blood drawn for my endocrinology appointment, I made a few calls that needed to be made, got coffee with the wife and got her “minter”, and other things I can’t remember that needed done.

And! The husband found a holographic snowflake light to put in the front yard so our house isn’t so dismal against the rest of the neighborhood and their lights.

Today didn’t suck.

The Mother of All Snowflakes WIP #1

Pattern by Mary Corbet of Needle ‘n Thread

Link

I’ve been itching to get back to cross stitching for a while now. I have one all planned out for a friend, but I can’t find my white aida cloth to start. At least, I think it’s big enough for what I need. Not working makes things challenging when needing to purchase supplies. The black aida I purchased earlier this year was just a bit to narrow for what I need, so I decided to repurpose it. To snowflakes, of course! Did a little Google search, found this free pattern and here I am. Also, black aida is a bitch to work on. it feels like a miniature litebrite. I’m a quarter done with it after starting on Friday, which is weird to think. It’s been good for keeping my hands and mind busy, especially with the wife having seizures off and on all day. She was supposed to have an ambulatory EEG this weekend, but our outlets in our 1950s house are too small to accommodate what the tech needed to plug the camera into. Now we get to schedule a 72 hour EEG at the hospital in the middle of respiratory disease hell season. Weeee!

In better news, our plumbing is getting replaced tomorrow. Or rather, the plumbing replacement process starts tomorrow. Jackhammering at 8 am! Who doesn’t love getting woken up to jackhammering right next to the bedroom? Although I just thought of something. Wife’s seizures have been sound triggered as well; this could get really messy.

Study mode activated. I have a 3-5 page paper to write for my forensic science class. I feel less stressed about this one than I did about last week’s. I’m also really proud of the gun I drew, especially since I’m nowhere near being an artist. Yay forensic science class!

My study buddy is here keeping me company. I’m on my second page and have taken my second Ritalin of the day to focus. I may drink more coffee later on to help focus my brain when the Ritalin wears off. ADHD is so much fun…

crazy that Goncharov (1973) will be 50 years old in a few months because it seems like it just came out yesterday

70’s ad for Asbestos

I love this shit.

People who are really into astrology and personality tests scare me. I could be like "Yea I'm a 4w5, Capricorn, INTP, and I'm also a Gryffindor" and suddenly they know my favorite food, that weird dream I had when I was 12, and the maiden name of my 1st grade teacher.

I struggle with asking questions in class because of all of this.

why autistic/adhd people may not ask for help

i’m not sure where to start and i don’t even know what questions to ask that would help me understand any of this

i want to ask you but i’m deathly afraid that you will hate my guts and resent me forever

i feel stupid and embarrassed for not knowing/understanding this

i wasn’t paying attention/i zoned out/you were talking too fast while going over this

“oh my god are you serious? it’s obvious, weren’t you paying any attention?” thanks for confirming i’m as stupid as i feel, appreciate it

i forgot about this deadline and i should’ve done it sooner but now it’s too late and awkward to say anything

your criticism will cast me into despair

i have no idea how to articulate my concerns so i will sit here silently until i can

i feel horrible about not doing it and not asking you initially and so i’m avoiding talking about it in the hopes that i will miraculously and suddenly understand it instead of doing the walk of shame to your office and risking the chance that i’ll piss you off and ruin your night

i’m working up the confidence to ask you

i’m formulating in my head a way to ask that doesn’t make me sound like i didn’t care enough to do it sooner, and that i actually have the willingness to do it, and that doesn’t place any blame on anyone except maybe me

autistic/adhd people feel free to add on! obviously this will vary from person to person, but this is my personal experience as an autistic and adhd person. if you’re neurotypical, please don’t try to offer tips for how to get around this because i can almost guarantee it will not be helpful :)

a collection of motivational insights regarding content creation and creative hobbies

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