Tell Me Representaron Doesn’t Matter

Struggling today. I’m having a hard time in one class (Intro to Javascript) and feeling like maybe I need to give up on college. I’m afraid with all of my health issues that it’s pointless. Maybe I need to take a semester off and do more artistic stuff? I don’t know.

I emailed my instructor about it, so we’ll see what he says. I’m trying really hard not to let it get me down but it’s challenging.

autism: I do NOT like having no idea what I'm doing

ADHD: wait, what was I doing?

I hope he found someone Better that was worthy of being with him. I would have loved that date!

Where is this man? Asking for a friend. That friend is me.

I’m having a very emotional day. My business communications class is triggering a lot of old memories from when I was working at two different companies. I know I did what I could with the knowledge and tools I had at that point in my life, but the memories still hurt.

Not knowing I was autistic and how that impacted everything in my life was a huge factor. Not being properly medicated for ADHD and feeling like I was the only person who didn’t have my shit together practically killed me. I still have PTSD from comments I saw and heard others say about me. About being gaslit by my manager. About being so overwhelmed that I am still dealing with burnout.

It doesn’t help that I’m not in therapy right now. My case worker is pushing to try to find me a therapist but the system is so overloaded and there just aren’t enough people to go along without burning out the therapists.

On top of all that, my assignment this week in my business communications class is to talk about my chosen field and how communication has changed. Except I don’t have a chosen field. I’m struggling to figure out what it is and if I can actually work. I’m in crisis every day about it. Being disabled but “not disabled enough” is taking its toll right now. I’m not okay. I’m hopeful things will get better but that’s where I am.

CNN

Scientists finally know why people get more colds and flu in winter | CNN

A new scientific finding has uncovered why we get more viral colds, flu and Covid in winter and during cold snaps.

The sardonic, reductionist headline here could be "Scientists finally figured out why you get more colds in winter: bEcAuSe iT's CoLd!"—but the actual science involved here is both interesting, and potentially very relevant to everyday life and especially the immunocompromised:

It turns out the cold air itself damages the immune response occurring in the nose. [...] In fact, reducing the temperature inside the nose by as little as 9 degrees Fahrenheit (5 degrees Celsius) kills nearly 50% of the billions of virus and bacteria-fighting cells in the nostrils, according to the study published Tuesday in The Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology. “Cold air is associated with increased viral infection because you’ve essentially lost half of your immunity just by that small drop in temperature,” said rhinologist Dr. Benjamin Bleier, director of otolaryngology at Massachusetts Eye and Ear and an associate professor at Harvard Medical School in Boston.

Want to avoid catching or spreading respiratory viruses like CoVid-19, RSV, influenza, or a common cold? Mask up, please, but also bundle up! Wrap up in a scarf, wear a balaclava, and just generally keep your face warm. There's no single magic solution, but that's not a reason to do nothing. Rather, it's a reason to take several simple precautions that help avoid the spread of disease and protect those around you. (I can't tell you how much "this isn't 100% effective so I shouldn't do it at all" frustrates me.)

Oh, and #knitblr? This is your time to shine.

Who the fuck needs Tumblr anymore I'm just going to be looking at lamp posts from now on

Why are universities and colleges obsessed with packing as much as possible into a shortened term? I’m trying to figure out where and what I want to get degree in, and I keep running into the issue of 6.5-8 week terms that are normally 14-16 weeks long.

It’s fine and dandy if you can adjust to that schedule and learning pace, but I have several disabilities that make this extreme learning obsession impossible and very defeating. Not everyone can do that and so many schools don’t accommodate for that because it’s built into the basic degree structure! Does anyone else feel the insanity of this? Get your degree in half the time but burn out before you finish. That’s super healthy! /sarcasm

Hi everyone,

I found a cute comic from Twitter about Autism and I thought I would share it here.

The tweet will be here in case anyone wants to view it.

Autism

Yesterday I was supposed to meet with my case manager, since we’ve never met. I had the address and even confirmed in the morning it wasn’t a Telehealth visit, like the additiona automated call I received the day before said it was. I arrived early and waited in the office. And waited. And waited.

Then I received a message from my wife saying that the case manager was at our house. She never said it was in home. I couldn’t handle anything else after that call.

I cried so much. I never ended up meeting her because I was 25 minutes away from home.

We will eventually reschedule.

Why is life so challenging?