Dear Esteemed Mutual-

PSA: Ewan McGregor Movie Review

The next movie on the list for review is "Black Hawk Down." A film about the United States' military conflict with Somalia. On principle, I do not watch war movies. I believe that there are much better ways to learn about the devastation of war than watching a movie that, despite even its best efforts, will glamorize the tragedy. For that reason, "Black Hawk Down" will be skipped. The next movie to be reviewed will be "Attack of the Clones."

10. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nightwatch (1997)

New year, new movies! In 1997, Ewan starred in three movies and all of them had some pretty bizarre plots lol. Let's start at the beginning with "Nightwatch"!

Genre: Horror/Mystery

Rating: R

Director: Ole Bornedal

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Nick Nolte, Josh Brolin

Synopsis: "Nightwatch" follows Martin Bells, a college student, who takes a job as the new night watchman at a morgue at the same time a serial rapist/murderer is on the loose. As the police hunt for the criminal, and more evidence is brought to light, Martin comes to the terrifying realization that he is their prime suspect!

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the main character Martin Bells. Martin is in college as a law student and is best friends with a mean, sexist, and inconsiderate (the list could go on) prick. Ewan has a female love interest and they have a couple kissing scenes as well as a really tender moment early in the movie. He speaks with an American English accent which isn't too shabby except when he gets scared and then he pretty much drops it lol. Speaking of scared, he spends a lot of the movie screaming, and crying. He has a bathing scene with no real nudity but if you pause at just the right time it's possible to see his package from afar. He also gets a public handjob, beat up, bit, and bound. In other words, you get a slew of very weak, vulnerable, and submissive Ewan content.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 52/102 minutes making his SP 51%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content? Yes. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes. Caveat: if you wish to be entertained then the movie will entertain you. But it espouses such harmful views of women that you might not be able to look past it and enjoy the story.

Warning before Watching: there is a violent murder within the first 3 minutes of the movie and another towards the end. There are close ups of mutilated, naked, dead bodies and lots and lots of blood. The movie is also incredibly sexist and revels in cruelty against women.

Where to Watch: You can stream the movie for free on Pluto TV or soap2day. It's available for rent on YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies, and Fandango at Home.

Closing Thoughts: This movie is in the horror genre seemingly because of the gore and suspense. The true horror of this film is the misogyny and general treatment of women. I was more disturbed and disgusted by the way the male characters interacted with the female characters. Mind you, this movie is not a cautionary tale. It is not about the pitfalls of sexism. The male characters do not receive comeuppance for their behavior. It is treated as natural. It is celebrated. We are to understand and sympathize with these chauvinists. We are to find humor in their hatred and charm in their cruelty. The funny thing is, you could (and I did) read a homoerotic subtext within the relationship of the two male best friends because they truly only love each other while their female love interests are just an afterthought. This movie is gross for all the wrong reasons and I will not be watching it again.

16. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Rogue Trader (1999)

We're nearing the end of Ewan's 90's movie run! This movie took me a looooong time to get through because it's so anxiety inducing! You've heard of second-hand embarrassment? Well, get ready for second-hand panic lol.

Fun Fact: Pip Torrens plays a supporting role in this movie as the boss of Ewan McGregor's character. They worked together on the 1995 television show "Kavanagh Q.C."

Genre: Thriller/Crime

Rating: R

Director: James Dearden

Starring: Ewan McGregor, Anna Friel

Synopsis: "Rogue Trader" is based on a real person and event which makes it even more painful to watch. The movie is about Nick Leeson, a young and ambitious employee at England's second oldest bank, Barings. Nick's dream is to work as an investment trader for the bank and after hard work, earns the position. His ambitions don't end there and as he strives to make a name for himself by any means necessary, his pride and deception lead to a catastrophic end that shocks the world.

Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the main character Nick Leeson. Nick is a plucky young man eager to make his mark in the investing world. He's charming, intelligent, and cares deeply for his wife and employees. Unfortunately, he uses these positive traits to his own detriment and the detriment of others. As you watch this movie, it becomes increasingly clear why Ewan was hired for the project as he is Mr. Prince Charming himself. Ewan brings a soft touch to this role. Making a man who caused irreparable harm to god knows how many people sympathetic. You want to see his luck turn around. You want him to do the right thing even as he digs himself deeper and deeper into his mess. Ewan has a love interest in this role and several kiss scenes. He has a nude makeout scene, and is shirtless multiple times. He also gets a very clear ass shot. He gets extremely anxious, and sleep deprived. You will literally see him shake, cry, or throw up at least once. He gets hit in the face with a chair at a bar fight and has a couple boxing scenes. In other words, there's a lot of yummy content in here.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan McGregor is on screen for a whopping grand total of.....65 / 94 minutes! This makes his SP 69% 😱 That is a HUGE amount! "Trainspotting" has finally been dethroned and I honestly don't know what movie, if any, is going to top this score. So start placing your bets!

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.

Warning Before Watching: In the very beginning of the movie, a man flashes his penis at a woman he's hitting on. You don't see his penis but it's uncomfortable to watch just the same. There is a miscarriage scene that features light bleeding. It's not graphic but if you're sensitive to such topics and would like to skip, it starts at 53:00 and ends at 54:06.

Where to Watch: Rogue Trader is available for rent on Fandango at Home and Amazon Prime Video. It is also currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the channels "Retrospective - Classic Movies" and "Real Drama". Just search "Rogue Trader 1999" and both options will come up.

Ewan McGregor fans assemble!

I NEED to get my dash looking like I woke up in Ewan McGregor heaven. I can't take only seeing posts that invoke all out panic and despair. I get it. I GET IT! We're all gonna be murdered and select rich white people will finally live their 1950s wet dream and there's nothing we can do about it. Is it too much to ask that I at least be able to read some quality Ewan fanfic as shit hits the fan? What about headcanons of an obscure character? Where are pictures of his handsome face? Think-pieces on an underrated movie? We need a Titanic "and the band played on" moment but it's just all the Ewan McGregor fans sending memes and gifs and whatnot. Please for the love of GOD, I need some happiness 😫

Vent (TW for mentions of self harm and binge eating)

Work was bad today. Really really bad. Physically painful bad. I feel so invisible and worthless. Not just by management. Of they don't care about any of us. But by my coworkers too. I know I'm different. I know I'm not like them. I feel like I'm their punching bag because I'm different. Then today my parents showed up at my job demanding to see me. I'm no contact with my parents. It was a hard decision to come to and they act like they don't know what "no contact" means. I was angry and scared. What if they forced their way into where I was? What if they caused a scene? I couldn't stop myself from shaking. Thankfully they left after being told twice. It made me worry that they would just wait for me at my house. At any time they could just show up as if I owe them my time. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I don't want to deal with this! I want to hurt myself. Instead I bought a bunch of food to binge. Neither option is good...I feel so out of control. I hate my life and I hate myself. I just want to escape somewhere I can be totally safe and happy. I knew that once I got home I was going to drown myself in Ewan McGregor content. It's the only thing right now that I can count on to be there for me. To fill me with happiness. I'm thankful for my mutuals on here and artists, writers, gif makers, and everything in between too. You're creativity and kindness provide the means for my escape from reality. I don't know how to end this. That's all.

hey nerds !! really scared and nervous but i have posted my first youtube video 😖

please comment and subscribe or whatever tell me what's bad or what you liked !! (i know the audio is bad im sorry i only learnt to speak this week :/// )

UHM im praying i didn't secretly without my knowledge make this worse so anyways thanks for encouraging me or wtvv…

just wanna say your movie reviews are underrated. I love how you review ewans movies flawlessly and precisely 🙏your reviews are flawless.

Oh my god! I have no words! 🥹 Thank you so much, dear moot! I'm absolutely touched and encouraged that you enjoy my Ewan reviews! 🥹🫂🫶 Oh my gosh you've made my day 🥰😚

Ramblings

I'm not feeling so well. I'm so dependent on my phone. I'm acutely aware of every second I spend on it and feel guilty for not doing something, ANYTHING else. What really bothers me is that I think that I see my phone as a lifeline. It's the last and only connection I have to people, to the world, at this point. I could force myself to go and do something else. But why? Why would I suffer being alone? And for how long? I could die right now and I don't think anyone in my physical life would miss me. Not for a long time anyway. Online, I exist. I think I'm starting to understand Sword Art Online now lol. I can like posts and leave comments and share things and have an actual effect on here. For better it worse. At least I know I'm alive because maybe I can get a reaction. I don't exist outside of here. I'm nobody. It feels so good to feel like I'm talking to people. Even if I just leave a one word comment I've "talked" to someone today. I'm alive and I matter. What I say and do matters. And sometimes people are even interested in me back! What I say means something when in my physical life I don't have a voice. I just want to matter. To be loved. To know what it feels like to exist all the time.

Segment of "Test Readings by Ewan McGregor for the Trainspotting Criterion Audio Commentary":

Hello, my name is Ewan McGregor, and welcome to the Criterion Collection special edition of Trainspotting. On this track, you will hear commentary from director Danny Boyle, producer Andrew Macdonald, screenwriter John Hodge and myself. These interviews were recorded in London during the winter of 1996.

When you're still up and it's 3am

@ghostboyhood project to fill the semi-vacant hole of Velvet Goldmine merch inspired me to do the same! What do y'all think of these? Any tips? I love doing silly stuff like this 🤭