Vent (TW For Mentions Of Self Harm And Binge Eating)

Vent (TW for mentions of self harm and binge eating)

Work was bad today. Really really bad. Physically painful bad. I feel so invisible and worthless. Not just by management. Of they don't care about any of us. But by my coworkers too. I know I'm different. I know I'm not like them. I feel like I'm their punching bag because I'm different. Then today my parents showed up at my job demanding to see me. I'm no contact with my parents. It was a hard decision to come to and they act like they don't know what "no contact" means. I was angry and scared. What if they forced their way into where I was? What if they caused a scene? I couldn't stop myself from shaking. Thankfully they left after being told twice. It made me worry that they would just wait for me at my house. At any time they could just show up as if I owe them my time. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I don't want to deal with this! I want to hurt myself. Instead I bought a bunch of food to binge. Neither option is good...I feel so out of control. I hate my life and I hate myself. I just want to escape somewhere I can be totally safe and happy. I knew that once I got home I was going to drown myself in Ewan McGregor content. It's the only thing right now that I can count on to be there for me. To fill me with happiness. I'm thankful for my mutuals on here and artists, writers, gif makers, and everything in between too. You're creativity and kindness provide the means for my escape from reality. I don't know how to end this. That's all.

More Posts from Loycspotting and Others

9 months ago

If you received this you are a great mutual šŸ«‚ Send this to 10 of your mutuals to spread love ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø

My heart! I can't believe my eyes 🄹 I love you and the feeling is 1000% mutual šŸ’“šŸ«‚šŸ’“

2 months ago

thank you so much! You're too sweet! šŸ«‚

It's my best friends birthday (late/early idk) wanted to make him a birthday post since he's the most kindest person I've met.

He will listen about your day and yap with you.

He will give great advice. He will even do everything so you never feel alone. He is my favorite person in the earth ever (well Olivia is first lol )

Also when I came out as trans he was supportive.

So wish him birthday wishes . Thank you so much for bringing purpose to my life you are my best friend I'm glad you where born.

It's My Best Friends Birthday (late/early Idk) Wanted To Make Him A Birthday Post Since He's The Most

It's My Best Friends Birthday (late/early Idk) Wanted To Make Him A Birthday Post Since He's The Most

It's My Best Friends Birthday (late/early Idk) Wanted To Make Him A Birthday Post Since He's The Most

@loycspotting

1 year ago

1. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Being Human (1994)

EDITING NOTE: I didn't realize until a week after I posted this that I grossly miscalculated the Screentime Percentage. I'm sorry for that oversight and the correct SP is now posted in the review.

Our first review is here! šŸŽ‰

Being Human is our inaugural Ewan McGregor movie review and stars the late, great, Robin Williams.

Funny enough, if this movie came out ten or even five years later then I would have put it in the "guest appearance" category and not written a review. That's how small Ewan's role was lol. However, I felt that it was only fair to start with this one because....this is Ewan's first ever movie role! That's right, you'd be forgiven for thinking his first movie role was in "Shallow Grave" but his career started far more humbly lol.

Movie Review: Being Human is about a soul, Hector, that we watch be reincarnated into five different lives over the span of centuries. He lives as a caveman, Roman slave, Scotsman, Portuguese man, and finally, a modern family man. Throughout his lives, he experiences hardships and must decide how to handle them, though he doesn't always make the right decision. He also crosses paths with a couple of other people from his past lives. This movie is veryyyy slow. It's two hours of literally watching someone live their life no matter how mundane some moments of life are. However, the movie is also heartfelt and feels strangely nostalgic even though I never watched it growing up. I also really like the concept of the soul reincarnating and getting the chance to redo past mistakes. Watching this movie a second time definitely made me appreciate it more and the beauty that lies in a life simply lived.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays a character named Alvarez who has been shipwrecked with Hector. He has a whopping three, that's right, THREE lines! His character is not integral to the story and if you didn't know he was in the movie then you probably wouldn't even notice him. He looks much older than his actual 22 years as well, especially considering how he looks in his next project "Shallow Grave."

Screentime Percentage (the numbers here have been rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 2/122 minutes making his SP a lowly 2%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is this movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Absolutely not. Is the movie worth watching? Yes, though the slow pacing is not for everybody.

Conclusion: Being Human is a quiet and contemplative film about life, our place in it, and how our love can span lifetimes. If you're a fan of Robin Williams and you have two hours to spare then I would encourage you to give it a watch. I rented the movie through YouTube which was the only place I could find it online.

P.S. if you do decide to watch the movie and just want to see Ewan, his first appearance is at 1:6:30 and last at 1:19:42. You can also watch one of his speaking lines on YouTube posted by the account Ewan McGregor Vault (where the image below is from).

1. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Being Human (1994)

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9 months ago

I have a new goal in life and it's to buy and wear this exact outfit

Mark

mark

inspiration


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8 months ago

spotify is raising prices again here’s the apk that gives you premium for free

2 months ago

Happy Saint Patrick's Day to those that celebrate!

I don't own green clothes but I didn't want to run the risk of getting pinched today so I made a pinch immunity necklace last night lol

Happy Saint Patrick's Day To Those That Celebrate!

My coworkers liked the pun

Happy Saint Patrick's Day To Those That Celebrate!

very pleased with it. It served me well. šŸ˜Ž


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4 months ago

Made my first MCR necklace last night!

Made My First MCR Necklace Last Night!

I chose the song Disenchanted because it's one of my favorites. I also felt like it's something different, like, not what you'd expect for MCR jewelry/kandi.

At first I wasn't sure if I loved it. I have synesthesia (and a weird brain in general) and I wanted to make the necklace match the colors of the song. Inevitably I got a bit overwhelmed playing around with the beads and getting them in the best order I could. Why is this such a big deal to me? The world may never know lol. But the more I look at it the more I like it. And I can now say that I'm very proud of it.

Initially, I was going to have the D-I-S be black letters and the rest be white. I felt like that would be unique on its on own AND THEN I realized that the word "dead" could be spelled inside "disenchanted" and I felt like that was super MCR coded so I went with that. That's what I'm most proud of. 😁


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1 year ago

The Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage (EMSP) List

I thought it'd be helpful to make a list for the movies that I've reviewed so far. I will update it as new reviews are posted. Unfortunately, I'm not yet able to add links to direct you to the full review. The letters EMSP stand for " Ewan McGregor Screentime Percentage" which is how long he spends on screen in a given movie. It is ordered from his highest screentime percentage to lowest. I hope this helps those looking for a new Ewan movie to watch!

Young Adam (2003): 70% (69 / 1 hr. 38 min.)

2. Rogue Trader (1999): 69% (65 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

3. Nora (2000): 56% (60 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

4. Trainspotting (1996): 55% (52 / 1 hr. 34 min.)

5. Nightwatch (1997): 51% (52 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

6. A Life Less Ordinary (1997): 51% (53 / 1 hr. 44 min.)

7. Eye of the Beholder (1999): 47% (48 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

8. Down with Love (2003): 46% (47 / 1 hr. 42 min.)

9. Shallow Grave (1994): 44% (41 / 1 hr. 33 min.)

10. The Serpent's Kiss (1997): 42% (44 / 1 hr. 46 min.)

11. Moulin Rouge! (2001): 40% (51 / 2 hrs. 8 min.)

12. Brassed Off (1996): 24% (26 / 1 hr. 47 min.)

13. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002): 23% (33 / 2 hrs. 22 min)

14. Blue Juice (1995): 22% (22 / 1 hr. 39 min)

15. The Pillow Book (1996): 22% (28 / 2 hrs. 7 min.)

16. Nothing but the Truth (1995): 21% (21 / 1 hr. 41 min.)

17. Velvet Goldmine (1998): 17% (20 / 1 hr. 58 min.)

18. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999): 17% (23 / 2 hrs. 16 min.)

19. Little Voice (1998): 14% (14 / 1 hr. 37 min)

20. Doggin' Around (1995): 11% (10 / 1 hr. 29 min.)

21. Emma (1996): 11% (13 / 2 hrs. 1 min.)

22. Being Human (1994): 2% (2 / 2 hrs. 2 min.)


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8 months ago

You did great on her design! So beautiful!

I'm glad I didn't annoy you with all my prompts šŸ˜… I wanted to give you options to choose from. Plus, I just enjoy thinking up prompts lol.

Thank you for doing another one 🄰

(Barriss absolutely deserved better šŸ˜”)

Hey, This One's Also For @loycspotting , Thanks For Sending So Much Prompts !! 🄰

Hey, this one's also for @loycspotting , thanks for sending so much prompts !! 🄰

The prompt was : Barriss Offee sitting in class and looking out the window

My girl Barriss, you didn't deserve the story they wrote for you šŸ˜”

Btw I loved drawing her design !


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7 months ago

donate to black trans groups

the following organizations accept donations via Venmo, PayPal or Cashapp:

Homeless Black Trans Women Fund: supports Black Trans women that live in Atlanta and are sex workers and/or homeless

Trans Justice Funding Project: supports grassroots trans justice groups run by and for trans people, focusing on organizing around racism, economic injustice, transmisogyny, ableism, immigration, and incarceration

Trans(forming): membership-based organization led by trans men, intersex, gender non-conforming people of color, to provide resources and all around transitional support

Black Trans Men Inc.: the first national nonprofit social advocacy organization with a specific focus on empowering Black Transgender men by addressing multi-layered issues of injustice faced at the intersections of racial, sexual orientation, and gender identities

Kween Culture: provides programming towards social and cultural empowerment of transgender women of color

Heaux History Project: a documentary series and archival project exploring Black and Brown erotic labor history and the fight for sex workers’ rights

Tournament Haus Fund: mutual aid fund for protesters and trans/non binary BIPOC in the ballroom scene in Portland/Tacoma/Seattle

Black Excellence Collective Transport for Black NYC LGBTQ+ Protesters:Ā raising funds to provide safe transport for Black LGBTQ+ protesters (NYC)

F2L Relief Fund: provides commissary support (and legal representation & financial assistance) for incarcerated LGBTQ+ and Two-Spirit POC in NY state

Trans Sistas of Color Project Detroit:Ā uplifts, impacts and influences the lives and welfare of transgender women of color in Detroit

Black Trans Protesters Emergency Fund organized by Black Trans Femme in the Arts Collective: supports Black trans protesters with resources like bail and medical care

Black Trans Travel Fund: a mutual aid project developed to provide Black transgender women with the financial resources to self-determine safer alternatives to travel, so they feel less likely to experience verbal harassment or physical harm

Reproductive Justice Access Collective (ReJAC):Ā a New Orleans network that aims to share information, resources, ideas, and human power to create and implement projects in the community that operate within the reproductive justice framework

the following organizations can be donated to individually or all-together via this split donation form that will split your donation amount to equal parts:

Okra Project/Tony McDade and Nina Pop Mental Health Fund:Ā provides Black Trans people with quality mental health & therapy and addresses food security in Black trans communities

For The Gworls: provides assistance to Black trans folks with travel to and from medical facilities, and co-pay assistance for prescriptions and (virtual) office visits ⁣

Third Wave Fund: an activist fund led by and for women of color, intersex, queer, and trans people under 35 years of age to resource the political power, well-being, and self determination of communities of color and low-income communities; rapid response grantmaking, multi-year unrestricted grants, and the Sex Worker Giving Circle

Unique Womens CoalitionĀ (Los Angeles, CA):Ā supportive organization for and by transgender people of color, committed to fostering the next generation of black trans leadership through mentorship, scholarship, and community care engagement work

Black Trans Women Inc.:Ā a national nonprofit organization committed to providing the trans-feminine community with programs and resourcesĀ 

SisTers/Brothers PGHĀ (Pittsburgh, PA):Ā A transgender drop-in space, resource provider and shelter transitioning program

Love Me Unlimited for Life: helps transgender community members reach their goals and fulfill their potential through advocacy and outreach activities

My Sistah’s House MemphisĀ (Memphis, TN):Ā designed to bring about social change within the Trans Community in Memphis by providing a safe meeting space and living spaces for those who are most vulnerable in the LGBTQ+ community

Black LGBTQIA Migrant Project:Ā builds and centers the power of Black LGBTQIA+ migrants through community-building, political education, direct services, and organizing across borders; provides cash assistance to Black LGBTQ+ migrants and first generation people dealing with the impact of COVID-19

Taja’s Coalition at St. James InfirmaryĀ (San Francisco/Bay Area):Ā navigating housing, medical services, legal services, and the workplace, as well as regularly training agencies

Marsha P. Johnson Institute: helps employ black trans people, build more strategic campaigns, launch winning initiatives, and interrupt the people who are standing in the way of more being possible in the world for black Trans people

Black & Pink Bail Fund: national prison abolitionist organization dedicated to dismantling the criminal punishment system and the harms caused to LGBTQ+ people and people living with HIV/AIDS who are affected by the systemĀ 

Black Visions Collective (MN):Ā healing and transformative justice principles and develops Minnesota’s emerging Black leadership, creating the conditions for long term success and transformation

Middle Tennessee Black and Indigenous Support FundĀ (Middle, TN): a community fund for Black and Indigenous queer and trans folks to foster wealth redistribution in its larger community, direct the funds to Black and Indigenous community members, and build the leadership of Black and Indigenous community members

SNaPCoĀ (Atlanta, GA):Ā a Black, trans-led collaborative to restore an Atlanta where every person has the opportunity to grow and thrive without facing unfair barriers, especially from the criminal legal system

Brave Space AllianceĀ (Chicago, IL):Ā created to fill a gap in the organizing of and services to trans and gender-nonconforming people on the South and West Sides of Chicago

House of GG:Ā a nonprofit, founded trans activist Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, that is raising money to build a permanent home for Transgender peopleĀ  and be part of a growing network of Southern trans people who are working for social justice

TGI Justice Project: a group of transgender, gender variant and intersex people inside and outside of prisons, jails and detention centers challenging and ending human rights abuses committed against TGI people in California prisons, jails, detention centers

Trans Women of Color Collective:Ā creates revolutionary change by uplifting the narratives, leadership, and lived experience of trans people of color

Youth BreakoutĀ (New Orleans, LA):Ā seeks to end the criminalization LGBTQ youth to build a safer and more just New Orleans, organizing with youth ages 13-25 who are directly impacted by the criminal justice system

Translash: a trans-led project uses the power of individual stories to help save trans lives, shifting the cultural understanding of what it means to be transgender, especially during a time of social backlash, to foster inclusion and decrease anti-trans hostility

TRANScending Barriers:Ā  empowers the transgender and gender non-conforming community in Georgia through community organizing with leadership building, advocacy, and direct services

My Sistah’s House:Ā a trans-led nonprofit providing first hand experience and field research to create a one-stop shop for finding doctors, social groups and safe spaces for the trans community, providing emergency shelter, access to sexual health services, and social services

TAKE Birmingham: focuses on discrimination in the workplace, housing advocacy, support for sex workers, providing trans-friendly services, and working to alleviate the many other barriers that TWOC face

Dem Bois: provides charitable economical aid for female to male, FTM, trans-masculine identified person(s) of color ages 21 years old and older for them to obtain chest reconstruction surgery, and or genital reassignment surgery

G.L.I.T.S:Ā approaches the health and rights crises faced by transgender sex workers

Emergency Release FundĀ (NYC):Ā aims to ensure that no trans person at risk in New York City jails remains in detention before trial; pays cash bails

HEARD: Helping Educate to Advance the Rights of Deaf Communities: supports deaf, hard of hearing, deafblind, deafdisabled, and disabled people at every stage of the criminal legal system process, up to and including during and after incarceration

Black Trans Advocacy Coalition COVID-19 Community Response Grant:Ā works daily to end discrimination and inequities faced in health, employment, housing and education to improve the lived experience of transgender people

Princess Janae Place:Ā provides referrals to housing for chronically homeless LGBTQ adults in the New York Tri-state area, with direct emphasis on Trans/GNC people of color

The Transgender District: aims to stabilize and economically empower the transgender community through ownership of homes, businesses, historic and cultural sites, and safe community spaces

Assata’s DaughtersĀ (Chicago, IL): Black woman-led; organizes young Black people in Chicago by providing them with political education, leadership development, mentorship, and revolutionary services

Collective Action for Safe Spaces: A grassroots organization that uses comprehensive, community-based solutions through an intersectional lens to eliminate public gendered harassment and assault in the DC area.

The Knights and Orchids Society (TKO) work for justice and equality through group economics, education, leadership development, and organizing cultural work throughout rural areas in Alabama

The Outlaw ProjectĀ (Phoenix, AZ):Ā prioritizes the leadership of people of color, transgender women, gender non-binary and migrants for sex worker rights

WeCare TNĀ (Memphis, TN): Supports trans women of colorĀ 

Community Ele'teĀ (Richmond, VA):Ā provides safe sex awareness and education, linkage to resources, emergency housing assistance

TAJA’s CoalitionĀ (San Francisco, CA): ending violence against Black Trans women and Trans women of colorĀ 

Black Trans Task Force: intersectional, multi-generational project of community building, research, and political action addressing the crisis of violence against Black Trans people in the Seattle-Tacoma area

The Transgender District: stabilize and economically empower the transgender community through ownership of homes, businesses, historic and cultural sites, and safe community spaces

Black Trans Media (Brooklyn, NY): #blacktranseverything storytellers, organizers, poets, healers, filmmakers, facilitators that confront racism and transphobia

Garden of Peace, Inc. (Pittsburgh, PA): for black trans & queer youth, elevates and empowers the narratives and lived experiences of black youth and their caretakers, guides revolutionary spaces of healing and truth through art, education, and mentorship

House of Pentacles (Durham, NC): Film Training Program and Production House designed to launch Black trans youth into the film industry and tell stories woven at the intersection of being Black and Trans

Minnesota Transgender Health Coalition (Minneapolis, MN): committed to improving health care access and the quality of health care received by trans and gender non-conforming people through education, resources, and advocacy

RARE Productions (Minneapolis, MN): arts and entertainment media production company for LGBTQ people of color that promotes, produces, and co-creates opportunities and events utilizing innovative artistic methods and strategies

Baltimore Safe HavenĀ (Baltimore, MD): providing opportunities for a higher quality of life for transgender people in Baltimore

Transgender Emergency Fund of Massachusetts: recently helped organize a Trans Resistance Vigil and March through Boston, in place of the Boston Pride Parade that was cancelled due to COVID-19

Semillas: in Puerto Rico, the trans, gender non-conforming and queer communities are facing many obstacles to survival

Street Youth Rise Up: change the way Chicago sees and treats its homeless and street based youth who do what they have to do to survive

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loycspotting - Your Friendly Neighborhood Ewan McGregor Stan
Your Friendly Neighborhood Ewan McGregor Stan

He/him | 20s

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