Localhumanwreckage - Aesthetic Trash

My dad: Mike Birbiglia has a new comedy special. Wanna watch it?

Me: Yeah sure!

My dad: Wait I feel like we’ve already seen this one. Who’s the other one who’s a man-child?

Me: John Mulaney?

My dad: Yeah, him.

When u send a risky text and get rejected

Dunn 2020: I’m gonna fucking kill myself.

So I’ve got severe palmar hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating of the hands) and I’m considering going all the way to California to get a relatively new surgery done to help it. I’ve had lots of people tell me it’s stupid to get a surgery for sweaty hands, so let me explain this to you motherfuckers. My hands are literally so sweaty that if I wear gloves and then hold my hand straight up, water will fall out of it. I can hardly ever play my piano because it just turns into a slip and slide. I’ve had to buy elbow length gloves just so I can draw and write without getting the paper soaked. My hands are very difficult to use most of the time. So yeah. The point of this post is, don’t judge people’s medical conditions if you haven’t experienced them. Please and thank you.

I HATE PROFESSOR UMBRIDGE BUT I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE IS NOT REAL

Quality friendship is sitting on the bus together listening to “Pink Triangle” by Weezer.

WHY DO TRAINS HAVE TO KEEP HONKING THAT GODDAMN HORN SO MANY TIMES IN A ROW?! LIKE WE GET IT, “CHOO CHOO” I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME.

Just a savage fact check that I would like to come back to and laugh at tbh