😭😭😭 Real

i think a lot of things that make me nauseous are due to undiagnosed neurospiciness and many of them have caused actual meltdowns I've violently repressed or hidden from others in an effort not to seem dramatic because i realize that my sudden "i can only eat plain white bread" or "i can only listen to this one song for 8 hours" or " i can only wear this shirt and these pants and that one pair of socks and that pair of shoes and there is one hair clip and only one that is allowed because it's the only one that keeps my hair up without being heavy or pulling it too hard" are not what most people experience, and the crazy thing is that i could go on forever about all these things. And then i tell other people and they say things like "i also have a favorite hair clip/outfit" like no you don't understand, i don't just prefer it, it's that or i will throw up, cry and pass away all at the same time because the texture of the fabric and the fit of the shirt against my skin and the color of it are familir and i know that I'm comfortable in it and it cannot be replaced and I've been spending months trying to psychologically prepair for the fact that i have to find a replacement and gathering all the energy required to go to stores and find one that could work (which is a lot of energy) because this one has holes in it and i will inevitably have to replace it and i don't want to not be prepared because what if it brakes at a bad time and then I'm imbarassed and it's a nightmare

anyway how's ur day going ahah

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

home, with expired film

Ernest Hemingway // Unknown

yeah well. I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

Preach I guess

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

Sotce