i think a lot of things that make me nauseous are due to undiagnosed neurospiciness and many of them have caused actual meltdowns I've violently repressed or hidden from others in an effort not to seem dramatic because i realize that my sudden "i can only eat plain white bread" or "i can only listen to this one song for 8 hours" or " i can only wear this shirt and these pants and that one pair of socks and that pair of shoes and there is one hair clip and only one that is allowed because it's the only one that keeps my hair up without being heavy or pulling it too hard" are not what most people experience, and the crazy thing is that i could go on forever about all these things. And then i tell other people and they say things like "i also have a favorite hair clip/outfit" like no you don't understand, i don't just prefer it, it's that or i will throw up, cry and pass away all at the same time because the texture of the fabric and the fit of the shirt against my skin and the color of it are familir and i know that I'm comfortable in it and it cannot be replaced and I've been spending months trying to psychologically prepair for the fact that i have to find a replacement and gathering all the energy required to go to stores and find one that could work (which is a lot of energy) because this one has holes in it and i will inevitably have to replace it and i don't want to not be prepared because what if it brakes at a bad time and then I'm imbarassed and it's a nightmare
anyway how's ur day going ahah
You know, actually, it's not that I need to be in a relationship for my life to be complete or have meaning. It's that I have been forced to deny myself access to an entire portion of myself in order to survive in this world. I am meant to love and I have an immense capacity for love. It comes very easily to me, but I have never really had an opportunity to experience it fully in a healthy way.
I've had glimpses of it and I know that finding someone who can not only handle how I love, but wants and welcomes it, means I also get to experience myself without restriction. It's the one mask I've never been able to remove in a life filled with masks.
the end and the beginning - wisława szymborska tr. joanna trzeciak
it's you, it's always been you .
y'all ever look at the clouds and wanna eat them?
It’s okay if you’re not alright now. Things will be okay soon, and I hope this little reminder helps. ♡
Chibird store | Positive Pin Club | Webtoon
right now you might be in a situation that you think you won’t survive but six months ago you were in a situation that you didn’t think you’d survive and two years before that you were in a situation you didn’t think you’d survive and the point is you will always surprise yourself and you will always make it through
a poem about stillness.
men are so awful. reblog this if ur a girl with brown eyes