Ok Y'all I Admit That Some Situations Are My Fault And I Did It To Myself. Self Sabotage Goes Crazy Because

it hurts so much more to be so aware of my behavior. it’s like i know i’m toxic rn and overly emotional. but when i mention it people won’t believe my illness anymore.

just because i’m aware doesn’t mean i can turn it off. if anything, it just makes me feel twice as bad about the thing happening and my reaction to it.

Someone who’ll talk you through it 🥲

non sexual intimacy!!!! bathing together, washing each other, playing with each other's hair, kissing every inch of their body, writing love letters on their back with your finger, connecting their moles and freckles to create constellations on their skin, running your hands up and down their thighs, ugh just expressing physical love without it having to be about sex!!!!

It's like, I see people on tumblr and insta and tiktok crying their eyes out about how miserable they are, sharing their traumas so openly.

And I feel bad for them, I do. But then this small, cruel part of me thinks, "they don't know how easy they have it."

I look at their rooms, their clothes, their faces, their art, their talents and recoil in jealousy. And I really do feel bad for them! I hate seeing other people in pain!

But damn I wish I had a room decorated that nicely. I wish I had clothes that cool and a real sense of fashion. I wish I were prettier. I wish I could be proud of the things I create and the things I do.

I'm pathetic, right?

High off the way you speak

Submerging me

Can't think, think, think

It's only you