Why Am I Always The Person Who Needs To Apologize. No One Considers My Emotions, It Doesn’t Matter

Knowing you're gonna have an episode soon and being able to do absolutely nothing to stop it is like waiting for your execution or trying to outrun a tsunami

I hate how tall I am. I'll never be pretty and delicate. I'll ALWAYS look big compared to other girls. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose

Wish I had thighs but if I gain more than 5lbs I want to kill myself 🙄

I would like to cuddle up with someone and be sad for a little bit before falling asleep together

suffocating with how much i wish i had your arms around me

never thought i’d meet someone who really truly cared about my life

it happens all the time

i hate this

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

Anne Carson, Antigonick