And I Missed Out On So Much Of My Life Because I Was Living In A Constant State Of Anxiety. And If It

And I missed out on so much of my life because I was living in a constant state of anxiety. And if it wasn't anxiety then it was depression. And if it wasn't depression then it was mania. And I literally can't remember being a child. I can't remember being a person. My whole life looks like this inescapable grey haze and I'm stuck in it. Buried in it. I don't want to fall asleep crying anymore. I don't want nightmare after nightmare. I want to feel safe and comfortable and happy and I am literally incapable of it. And that is so fucking terrifying.

More Posts from Littlecigs and Others

1 year ago

Man y'all must really like crazy girls I hope you know you'll be tired of me the second I get mad for the first time

But also please pay attention to me

1 year ago
We’re All Going To The World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)
We’re All Going To The World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)
We’re All Going To The World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)
We’re All Going To The World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)

We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)

5 years ago

I dread these halls like the hand of God.

I don't want this to be real.


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1 year ago
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1 year ago

"i would die for you" this, "i'd walk through fire for you that"

what about "i'd live for you" romances? what about "i never thought i'd be worth the work it would take to piece myself together"?

what about "i don't believe i'm worth it, but for you i'll try"

littlecigs - out of body
out of body

21F & tired. my old poems are seriously so bad. idk what this is turning into. I just want someone to talk to. open dms

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