Once Safely Escorted From The Room And Out Of Earshot Of The Other Girls And Their Excruciating Ha! Ha!

“mm, who knows. it would have been more interesting if she had thrown the chocolates in his face.” she says in passing, the melodramatics was lost on her. 

it was unfortunate that lili’s attention span was as flighty as she was but once something sparked her interest, she was like a dog with a bone. minyoung’s unexpected confession has her dropping the page her fingers were currently fiddling with — brow arched, lips parted in what could only be seen as surprise. 

“you’ve never — like never ever?” now, how could that be? then she finds herself doing damage control — righting her appalled face with what she hopes appears as a gentle, reassuring smile. “nooo — of course not, it doesn’t mean anything. maybe they just haven’t found the right time, or the right chocolate!” yea, that had to be it — then the guilt sets in for lying, “or well, is there anyone you’re interested in? or who are interested in you? does has to be someone. people these days even give friendly chocolate, it doesn’t always have to be romantic.” 

minyoung looked up at the sound of her name being called. she smiled sweetly over at lili, who wanted to perform something to wow the crowd. minnie's advice of doing something she has fun with wasn't very good, it seems, as the other was still pouring over the song list. "i'm down for any song! i mean i just did eternal sunshine with junyi. want to do another english song?"

minnie wasn't nearly as observant as lili was. whenever she was in public, lili's eyes were always watching, observing, taking note. minnie didn't really look unless it was something truly interesting. by then, lili would have already clocked what was going on.

she hums, eyes shifting to the scene lili describes with mild interest. lili found it to be a bust but minnie was instantly interested. "oh wow. do you think maybe they have a fling? isn't it super bold to offer chocolates at a company event like this? or maybe is that super genius because it looks like all the other chocolates here?"

when the questioning was transferred over to herself, minyoung blushed deeply. her eyes suddenly became glued to the karaoke book. "i uhm....i've never received chocolates before...." the confession makes her feel a little pathetic. nearly twenty-three years old and she couldn't recall a single time where someone chose her as an object of affection during this time of year. "i mean...i guess it's not that big of a deal, right? i always thought it was kind of... unfortunate that i've never gotten any but it doesn't mean anything...right? right?"

she waits at the bottom with bated breath — it was barely a hump but still! lili was allowed to have her reservations, especially when minkyu says it’s his first time skiing! lili was not a worrisome person but she would not have filming be halted over something that could have easily been prevented.

“slow down, ski bunny, we don’t want you melting the mountain.” her giggles are muffled by her gloves.

“but a higher one?” she’s amused by his eagerness but she nods, nonetheless. “alright, i think we can do another after this, let’s see if that little hill wasn’t some fluke, alright?”

she’s thankful to be back in the lodge after an afternoon of skiing — it had been fun but the cold had started to get to her. her skii clothes while fashionable were not exactly the most functional to wear on the slopes and after an hour of being out on the mountains, the chills had started to seep into her bones.

walking beside minkyu, she pokes at his side, once more eager for a hint to the surprises he had teased earlier. “so, what’s next? a hot air balloon to whisk us to some snow getaway?”

They say the bunny hill is the easiest, but Minkyu’s legs clearly didn’t get the memo. The moment his skis tilt forward and gravity takes over, his knees wobble like jelly, his balance teetering on a razor’s edge. Clutching the ski poles with the desperation of a man holding onto life itself, he hurtles downhill - not so much skiing as he is surviving.

What takes mere seconds feels like a slow-motion lifetime, but somehow, miraculously, he makes it to the bottom. No falls, no dramatic wipeouts, just a slightly chaotic descent ending in a wobbly slide to her side. He’s anything but graceful, especially compared to her serene glide, but he’s in one piece, and that’s what matters.

“Phew! Not too bad, huh?” he grins, striking an exaggerated victory pose, chin tilted high in mock pride. It only takes a second before he dissolves into laughter, the tension melting from his shoulders.

Then he looks at her, really looks, and the admiration in his eyes softens his smile. “You looked like a gliding princess up there,” he says earnestly, voice warm. “Seriously. So pretty.” And he means every word. “Let’s go to a higher one next,” he says, his grin widening. “I’m all warmed up now!”

lili laughs, a breath pushed forcibly as she straightens up from her end pose. “you’re much too kind, and you’re probably lying but i’ll take it.”

reaching for her towel, she pats along her forehead before letting it drop to the rest of her belongings. “maybe — maybe a partner would be better.” she sighs, still uncertain with the compromise, finally coming back to sit beside rua.

“you literally read my mind,” lili admits, like a breath of relief to finally be speaking her mind to someone who wasn’t all gung-ho about their current predicament. the others couldn’t wait to express themselves creatively, and yet, all lili felt was exhaustion. “like who am i kidding, i think — i’m just not meant to be choreographing”

it wasn’t to say lili wasn’t creative — no, she could be if she put half the mind into it.

but to be frank, even lili couldn’t fake putting her heart into something that she didn’t really care for — and maybe that was why everything was feeling so wrong. her passion was misplaced, it had only taken now to realize that no matter the excuse she put up — it would always feel wrong because lili wasn’t someone who planned and created, at least not in the form she was in now, no — she was the executioner. 

she was the model to the artist, she would breathe life into the idea — not have the idea, itself. 

( at least, in lili’s not-so-humble opinion )

 “how is your stuff coming along?”

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ previously、

as long as lili isn't expecting well, concrete and actually helpful advice, rua is happy to watch whatever the other has come up with so far. even if she didn't know much about techniques and styles and all that, she can at least tell if something is pleasing and nice to watch.

when the song starts playing, rua can already picture the kind of dance that's likely to follow. it screams contemporary (she at least knows that much) but the thing about this genre of dance is that, it's very... free and there's not exactly rules or structure to follow or adhere to, or else it wouldn't be considered that style anymore. to her, one of the defining features of this kind of dance is a flowy-kind of feeling, with some powerful moves when the song hits certain notes or peaks - and that's more or less what she sees when lili starts demonstrating what she's put together so far.

part of her is in awe though, that the other had already come up with this much and although lili calls the movements stiff, rua doesn't think she's giving herself enough credit. "i don't think it looks silly," she says with a light laugh. "it's much better than anything i could've came up with honestly." although that isn't saying much, considering her absolute lack of knowledge and ability to choreograph but that's not the focus here!

"maybe you just need to get used to the movements more?" she suggests, wondering if the 'stiff' feeling lili speaks of is because the dance doesn't feel natural to her yet. "i've barely done any dance like this so i think i'd feel really out of place if i tried to suddenly." but she's not sure if that's really the source of the problem, her just guessing, or a personal issue. "or maybe the moves are meant to be done with a partner?"

VALENTINE INTERLUDE     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi     /     her throat was dying, after belting out to wicked’s naughty high note — broken glasses withstanding — she needed to rest. she had just given the room the best they’ve ever heard — to lili’s standards — and what she wanted was a reward for her efforts.

beelining to junyi’s side, she sits next to the younger girl, reaching for an empty glass to fill with the pink punch that was going around. the reward she wished to be collected lay at the other’s tongue: “i’m parched — how’d your white day go?” cut to the chase; lili wanted details! “some guy gave me the grossest flower arrangements, yellow daisies! do i look like a yellow daisy type of person?” 

they play their own game of pick and choose — his comments on the masses do little to appeal her to go out of her way to ask for another favor from another person she would rather not spend a second of her time with.

the thought, itself, made her moment here with seunghyun seem the slightest bit more bearable than any of the other options made available. at least she wouldn’t get hit on, proposed to, and/or suddenly arranged to be married. all of things she was trying to avoid with seunghyun’s mother — but her way with words was all too tempting. 

her eyes follow his line of sight to a woman in dangerously tall heels and a purse that looked like it was from marry poppin’s on xanax. “oh, she seems to love you.” then she frowns, eyes redirected to his seemingly nonchalance. “what ish? does she get nicer whenever she gets a touch up on her migrating zyderm?” lili was more preferential to eating her duck rather than seeing it on the face of some over-aged mistress.

Seunghyun snorts. "Nothing? Nothing at all? What a shame..." He knew so little about Lili other than his mother's infatuation with her bone structure - but she was beginning to seem a lot more foolish than she looked. Who would subject themselves to an evening of this willingly?

He bends to swipe at his pant leg with a subtle scowl, rising up to cross his arms over his chest. He eyes the elder waddling this way and that by the terrace's edge, muttering something to himself.

"Do you know who that is?" the model asks with a quirk of his brow. "New appointee on the board of directors at Hanhwa group. Total basket case. If I even so much as say hello I'm going to be stuck listening to him babble on for the next three hours..."

He scans the area for a moment, spying a woman frantically searching through her purse. He can't quite put a finger on it but she seems so familiar... They lock eyes and she frowns almost immediately. Oh, that's right. One of his mother's acquaintances whose shifting filler he just found so interesting ( and often commented on it quite loudly ). "Why don't you ask her? She's friendly. ...Ish."

“wishful thinking.” lili says, because the horror that maylin had wished would not happen — comes sliding right in on a silver cart. presented in a decadent array of vibrant colors were the cherry on top to an already embarrassing ensemble. in a way, if this had been circa met gala 2019, lili would have passed it off as camp — perhaps avant garde. but this was neither 2019 nor the met gala.

and it was obvious, this type of dress that had been all the rage for the time it had been in should have stayed there.

“god, i really should not have eaten that salmon skin roll for lunch.” 

it surely had come back to bite her in the ass — or more specifically, in the form of attire she was to grace national televisions in the upcoming weeks ahead. sigh, the things she did for fame. 

“i love sushi as much as the next person, but i’m not lady gaga — i don’t want to wear what i eat.” 

siren.

this had to be some kind of karma put onto maylin for all her days of complaining and teasing the innocent.

there was no other explanation as to why she was standing here wearing - well, she knew the day would come when the songs were announced for the senior trainees. it was popular during its release date and resurfaced recently in the charts. she's seen many people perform it in the past, and all of them wore the sushi on top of their heads with a smile on their faces.

and she had no choice but to smile as well, while her eyes were dead to the world and regretting every second.

with dress rehearsals and fittings hitting them all like a wave, maylin showed up in her usual black and neutral attire as she waited for her turn. when she spotted a familiar face, she immediately went over to @lgclili and linked their arms. "please tell me i'm not the only one gagging at the thought of wearing a certain outfit." she whispered, speaking in Cantonese. "maybe they'll spare us all and we only get the dress, or something completely different. i simply can't accept our fates here."

the delusions, that's all her mind was filled with at this point.

“please.” she nearly whines.

picture this: lili — a woman who held all the grace and poise in the world in a singular fingernail. now throw all that grace and poise out the window and replace it with contempt and a blood-thirst for revenge then you’d have the xu lili of today, or more precisely, of right now.

she groans as she feels asami pull her up with all the strength she could muster. “these little urchin — i mean gremli — kids thought it’d be funny to give me a nudge,” that was putting it kindly. feeling herself unsteady at the soles, she uses asami’s shoulder to steady herself before letting go of the other woman’s hand with a grim smile — ‘smile’, really, because lili had nothing to smile about because the kids who tried to unalive her were literally standing beside them looking as disappointed as ever at their failed attempt. 

“now that wasn't nice, right, kids?” she asks a bit more sternly than she should before asami’s comment catches up with her and a hand flies to her head, lips dropping open in horror — “what? oh no — what’s wrong with it?” her hand immediately combs through it, hoping that nothing had caught into the strands. 

Here, surrounded by stuffed animals, all Asami could think about was her niece and if her brother had given her the stuffed bear, she got her when she was born. She’s more than six months old now, certainly a kid could be trusted to have one of those without suffocating or something, right?

Helping the kids felt like a good way to practice, to be honest, since Asami doesn’t have a lot of time to go back to Tokyo and actively participate in her niece’s life. She must learn how to me an aunt sooner rather than later, after all, and volunteering, despite not being her first choice for a Saturday activity, wasn’t all that bad. She enjoys being around children, and after the birth of little miss Mayumi, her liking of the little ones has seemed to increase theoretically. With her busy schedule, it’s not like she sees children all that often after all.

Asami is only pulled out of her reverie when she hears someone ask for help, and she wishes it was easier to find the source, but it really wasn’t since the stuffed animals, “Hi, uhm, I just need a second,” Asami says as she tries looking and see if any of the children are of any help. They aren’t. She must definitely look a little too silly, and she definitely looked comical like a cartoon character when she found the person in need because her mouth opened in a perfect O shape. “Lili unnie, my god, how did you end up there?” Asami offers her a hand and pulls her up. Despite her best instincts, Asami lets herself smile a little, “your hair is all over the place. I hope you didn’t land on leftover candy. Can I help you?”

lili immediately raises her fingers to form an ‘x’ in rejection. “no, no — just brunette and maybe layers, but no bangs.” lili was firm with her likes and her dislikes and she absolutely disliked the idea of bangs on herself. 

“yea, it’s kinda crazy. but i guess expected since we’re not like debuted official just training official? at least we get exposure through the company instagram.” like a pebble in an ocean, lili surmises. “better than nothing,” she adds at the end even if it was closer to nothing than anything else on her end.

nodding, her hand pushes the tray further towards kyoka with a smile, “はいー めしあがれ.” her japanese had somehow gotten better to a fault, enough for casual remarks but still not well enough to hold a lengthy conversation. 

Kyoka cocks her head to the side and blinks. Fair enough, Lili does look great as a brunette and she makes sure to say as much. Very mindful, very demure, she nods approvingly. Hey, maybe she should consider going brunette too someday, "With bangs too maybe, what do you think?" she asks, grabbing the tip of her hair to illustrate her vision.

She shrugs, the idea clearly not bothering her that much. "Everyone I really know is here or they're back home still and I'm not allowed to talk about them." She was definitely forgetting a lot of other people around her, but then again, she never made enough of an impression for people to really notice her anyways. "Can you believe we're not allowed in any social media, not even from fans posting about random meetings?"

And does she want Lili's potatoes, of course she does. Kyoka never turns down free food and she's also almost always kind of hungry anyways. Her piling up on the potatoes onto her plate is her response, and it's only right before she takes her first bite that she remembers to thank Lili, "I do, いただきます!!" head bobbing as she spoke.

BUBBLEGUM LI.LI     ୨୧     @lgchyuk / lili loves games.

but these games, they’re not quite her speed — a little too carefree, a little too slow; results pending rather than immediate, the easygoing nature a far cry from the devil’s advocate propositions she plays in  her daily life. and yet, here she is, pretty little thumbs twiddling the joystick of the nintendo switch joy con as she makes her character — some villager with neon teal hair and pink eyes who the staff had aptly named after herself — run after hyuk with a net. 

and … she may be having a little too much fun — all shown through the way she smiles and laughs, hand hitting his shoulder each time she’s able to hit him with a net. but enough of that — the real joy has yet to come, “okay, so we have to shake trees to get special items. it could be like money or furniture, or like the pink fruits we saw earlier.” she sets her controller down as she explains, pointing out the basic map layout where the trees were all huddled towards the horizon; her character inching a little farther back as she urges him to move forward. “so, go on — just shake them, press ‘a’.”

໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 15 、

round and round it goes.

where it stops — no one knows. 

she pulls the string once more, ricocheting the top into the floor. the clatter it makes as it hits the ground does not strip her from her reverie, irises hypnotized by the spin and pull of the game. finally a game that she had a knack at — that didn’t require her to think or to do or to ace at the first go. all it took was a pull of the twine and the top would fall apart from her fingertips. ready to split the ground beneath it as it run amok around them. 

and run it does, running in circles from point a to point z. never in the same place, its center of gravity teetering fast until it tilts a little too far on one side, collapsing upon itself as it topples. a pause in the game as she snatches it up to start all over again. 

again, it’ll spin round and round.

where it stops — her eyes will go.

follow it until the end, like an expectant child would to a mother.

or like what she believes an expectant child would do in the presence of one it fawned over. lili would no know better. like the top, she finds herself spinning and spinning — fast and furious through the lanes of people, around people, through people, continuing on until her own center of gravity tilts — and she stops, 

all to begin again.

because like a top, lili finds herself adjusting — forcing herself to acclimate to places unfamiliar, submerging head first into a game she doesn’t know, but must learn in order to survive. 

like a top, she’ll spin — spin and spin because she’s at the mercy of someone else.

the top pivots at the will of her pull, like she bends for the validation of others. begging for acceptance, vying for a win amongst the multitude of losses just stacked against her. 

fingers pull at the string once more.

and again, she’ll spin — spin, spin.

round and round, it goes.

where she’ll stop? no one knows.