They Play Their Own Game Of Pick And Choose — His Comments On The Masses Do Little To Appeal Her To

໒꒱ .  莉莉 ✽ PLOT CALL _ q3

calling for plots because we are always very, terribly late plots juseyo

⤷  TRAINEE MISSION 018

HOSTING WORKSHOP _ open !

DAILY VLOG _ solo

CREATIVE LESSONS _ choreography [ hip hop / classic ] _ open !

call it relief or whatever, but when sarang gives her a promise — lili makes due to hold her to it.

( because there was no way in hell lili was going to haul her passed out ass from this bathroom if it comes to it — then again, if she had passed out maybe it would stop all their peers from haa-ing all over the place )

no, no — that would be unkind — to wish someone would pass out, especially if that someone looked close to tears and near death from whatever was going on inside her pretty head. lili couldn’t be the reason for something bad happening — not again.

so, as relief fills her, she trades her sigh of ease to one of a gentle smile, if you could call it that. trying to rack her brain for any words of comfort, kicking herself for being … lili … instead of someone like taeha who was so good at words and comfort. 

settling for a — it’s okay — a shoulder lifts, nonchalantly. “everyone has their bad days,” not lili, per say, but that wasn’t something she could say now. 

“no worries, the worst they could do is make us run around the gym again.” on second thought — “just give yourself a minute — okay? you don’t need to rush yourself.” 

the last thing she wanted, was someone to be worried.

well, someone worrying over her. this was stupid. she was stupid. people got bad comments all of the time, people had bad days. it was her own need not be seen as not perfect. it wasn't just about being perfect, she was wrong. not okay or even unremarkable but wrong. and wrong in front of everyone.

it took a moment to realize that lili was still speaking to her. it was that easy to get lost in her own head. sarang tried to focus on the breathing. she nodded her head to the question, she knew breathing options. it was her own thoughts doing this to her. sarang tried her best to follow, to calm her breathing. more importantly, to forget about what happened.

it was the comment about passing out that managed to get a strangled laugh from her. "p-promise." she muttered out, she was sure she wouldn't pass out. hopefully. she breathed slowly, still counting in her head. when sarang was through the worst of it, she was able to speak again. "i- i-i'm so sorry you h-had to s-s-see that." she was read from the embarrassment. "j-just a bad d-day, you s-should g-go back, i wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

some people are worth melting for 🤍❄️ 

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

“i think i passed him briefly in the makeup trailer.” what lili should have done was introduce herself but what happened to being a gentleman? should lili do everything herself? 

before lili could huff at the comment, he’s retracting it and all lili could do was pout — lips formed, whether because she lost her chance to tease him for it or that she was looking for an outlet to rid her of her nerves.

nerves? around jisoo — who knew.

“sure, i suppose that’s what you meant.” she could only believe him at face value, “how do you know we won’t start a fight in the middle of the shoot — strong personalities and all?” wondering where jisoo’s head was at — to put the two of them together, if that had been the case. lili would have thought it be a disaster — strong personalities often were, especially when pitted against another, if not, stronger one. 

if she chooses not to keep it, he thinks it'd be very amusing if a package arrived for her in the mail anyway - which haru and lili likely would be gifted after it was all over, when the shooting wrapped up, but jisoo isn't going to say that right now, as he definitely is no mind reader and cannot figure lili out - even after all these years, tragic. ( or maybe, the better way to say it is, he can figure her out, but its always better to not say it aloud to dispel the moment. )

the corners of his eyes crease as he smiles, nonplussed at her demeanour. it seems... the shoot will run smoothly? permitting that the two mains don't butt heads. "i mean, you know i can if i am in the corner. just don't put me in the corner, and i won't bite,' clearing his throat, he glances in the direction where she is towards and agrees. "perhaps that may be one of the ones selected. we certainly won't only pick one, so there is some variety." everything seems to be coming aligned, unlike the rarity in the sky that will never occur. but for him, the three of them aligning on the same trajectory was enough.

"have you met your co-star yet?" jisoo must inquire, since it is likely that the dual shots will come soon. "i hope neither of you will chase the other away with respectively, strong personalities in very different ways. its a compliment, i swear," he insists, holding his palms out.

୨୧     SPRING CLEANING     :     1B

WHEN SOMEONE WRONGS YOU, DO YOU RESPOND WITH REVENGE OR FORGIVENESS?

“revenge. it’s simple: you do me wrong, you need to be punished. forgiveness is for fools who are much too kind and … well … forgiving. it’s a fool’s errand to be anything but vengeful when someone does you dirty. they need to learn a special lesson as to why they shouldn’t have wronged you in the first place and i’ll happily teach that to them.”

WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

“truth serum?” lili groans, ready to bite her words out of her own mouth, “love. being loved, not being loved, having love and somehow fucking that up because i’m apparently unlovable. also being forgotten … or i guess, unknown works too. is that exchangeable with fame? because in that case i’ll take fame over love. i’d rather be known than forgotten. and since i can’t be loved, i’d fear being unknown more than anything else.”

HOW MUCH DO YOU CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

“if i cared what anyone else thought, do you think i’d walk around with this proud, nasty attitude?” no, probably not. “i don’t care, but i suppose, saying so would make you think that i do care but i swear i don’t. sure, it hurts my feelings, deeeeeeeep down, but feelings are fleeting, i’ll get over it once i buy a new bag or some new shoes.”

WHAT IS AT THE TOP OF YOUR PROFESSIONAL BUCKET LIST?

“getting out of this hell hole of ambiguity they call being a ‘trainee’. i want to be famous, but not for being famous, i want my fame to be because i’m good at something. so, i suppose, right now, you can say at the top of my professional bucket list is for me to debut. what comes after that, well … maybe some modeling, acting? the world is … like they say, my oyster.”

lili laughs, a breath pushed forcibly as she straightens up from her end pose. “you’re much too kind, and you’re probably lying but i’ll take it.”

reaching for her towel, she pats along her forehead before letting it drop to the rest of her belongings. “maybe — maybe a partner would be better.” she sighs, still uncertain with the compromise, finally coming back to sit beside rua.

“you literally read my mind,” lili admits, like a breath of relief to finally be speaking her mind to someone who wasn’t all gung-ho about their current predicament. the others couldn’t wait to express themselves creatively, and yet, all lili felt was exhaustion. “like who am i kidding, i think — i’m just not meant to be choreographing”

it wasn’t to say lili wasn’t creative — no, she could be if she put half the mind into it.

but to be frank, even lili couldn’t fake putting her heart into something that she didn’t really care for — and maybe that was why everything was feeling so wrong. her passion was misplaced, it had only taken now to realize that no matter the excuse she put up — it would always feel wrong because lili wasn’t someone who planned and created, at least not in the form she was in now, no — she was the executioner. 

she was the model to the artist, she would breathe life into the idea — not have the idea, itself. 

( at least, in lili’s not-so-humble opinion )

 “how is your stuff coming along?”

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ previously、

as long as lili isn't expecting well, concrete and actually helpful advice, rua is happy to watch whatever the other has come up with so far. even if she didn't know much about techniques and styles and all that, she can at least tell if something is pleasing and nice to watch.

when the song starts playing, rua can already picture the kind of dance that's likely to follow. it screams contemporary (she at least knows that much) but the thing about this genre of dance is that, it's very... free and there's not exactly rules or structure to follow or adhere to, or else it wouldn't be considered that style anymore. to her, one of the defining features of this kind of dance is a flowy-kind of feeling, with some powerful moves when the song hits certain notes or peaks - and that's more or less what she sees when lili starts demonstrating what she's put together so far.

part of her is in awe though, that the other had already come up with this much and although lili calls the movements stiff, rua doesn't think she's giving herself enough credit. "i don't think it looks silly," she says with a light laugh. "it's much better than anything i could've came up with honestly." although that isn't saying much, considering her absolute lack of knowledge and ability to choreograph but that's not the focus here!

"maybe you just need to get used to the movements more?" she suggests, wondering if the 'stiff' feeling lili speaks of is because the dance doesn't feel natural to her yet. "i've barely done any dance like this so i think i'd feel really out of place if i tried to suddenly." but she's not sure if that's really the source of the problem, her just guessing, or a personal issue. "or maybe the moves are meant to be done with a partner?"

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

graceful? she’s as stiff as a board, no charisma whatsoever !!! so lifeless

she’s so pretty, it’s a shame it doesn’t translate into her dancing ㅋㅋ

getting a lili reveal wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card but she’s already captured my heart ♡ 

i love the way she dances! this is truly one of my favorite videos i've seen from legacy in quite a while tbh!!

^ you must have been watching a totally different video than i was... i wanted to see her do more than dancing because in this industry, you need to be multitalented and this video makes me assume that she can only do one thing and that's dancing....... ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

▷ 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

໒꒱ . XU LILI _ 1V1 CONSULATION 、WORKSHOP # 002

lili prided herself on her one on one evaluations with her coaches. something about receiving critiques empowered her, in a way. if they flat-out told her she sucked, it evoked an irrational sense of determination in her. if they flattered her, it validated her. in the end, it was a win-win situation that worked in her favor. 

“ WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE YOUR STRENGTHS RIGHT NOW? ”

her strengths have always been her most steadfast of skills — they were what made it easy for lili to transition from some no name agency to the likes of legacy in a matter of weeks. her defaults came easy, rolling off the tongue in a crescendo of confidence that she wonders why seo youngjae had bothered wasting his breath. “singing, dancing, modeling — it’s a triple threat combination that i feel like i’ve perfected.” and to this day, lili believes is her clandestine repetotoire for her future and yet — "do you not agree?" she asks, at point blank, because if seo youngjae didn't, then obviously lili was not working hard enough. ( and that irked her )

“ WHAT ARE THREE SKILLS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO WORK ON IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS? ”

she ponders this, and realizes the slight deflation in her response. it’s no surprise to anyone that her confidence had taken hit after hit in recent months. being looked over and not even considered for certain projects had been low blows that lili had tried her best to not get to her — since nobody asked, lili assumed she had done a good job in not showing it. but now, as the cards are laid down on the table and lili is asked to foresee what she could possibly do more — she feels affronted, almost affixed to her thoughts. “i feel like i’ve fallen short on my performance” — lili only says because coach jang insung had told her something along the same lines in passing the other day and if insung noticed, there was no way it wasn’t going to be brought up today. and lili knew better than to hide from the inevitable. “so, i’d probably work on my performance.” there was also that small stint as an extra for that film project, not much came of it but lili did like her time there even if she didn’t have lines, and if her face was covered — it was something. “maybe try working on my acting, actually being on a set had struck something in me, i guess. i couldn’t really stop thinking about it.” it was her way of saying she liked it without being so upfront about it. “i was also thinking of trying my hand at hosting but if i don’t like it … i could just keep working on my singing, i still have yet to really perfect my whistle tone.” 

“ IF GIVEN A CHANCE, WHAT TYPES OF GIGS WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING? ”

“with my current understanding, i feel i would be better suited to modeling and acting opportunities. i am interested in hosting but i don’t think i’m quite well-suited to them yet. otherwise, for modeling and acting, i feel like while i lack experience, i have learned enough about the field and have shown my interest enough that i would be easier for me to adapt to them.” a long-winded answer that, in hindsight, sounds almost rehearsed. and for that, lili’s fingers sneak into the side of her trousers for a slight pinch. it was an answer — eloquent, smooth, almost convincing in nature — that almost mimicked something her grandmother would have ate up and lili … at this point in her consultation, wanted to be honest — apparently, some habits were just too hard to forgo. 

“ DURING YOUR TIME HERE IN LEGACY, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE LESSONS THAT YOU’VE LEARNED ABOUT YOURSELF? ”

while not something she learned while at legacy, she finds it’s something that is becoming more and more of a hindrance to her growth and it’s — “i’m impatient. i feel like i’m ready for whatever it is you’ve yet to guarantee me.” but no matter how impatient she is, she finds herself drowning in this impatience. “and it makes me make more mistakes than i’m used to. i feel like i need to learn better ways to calm myself and/or learn how to be patient.” the latter is easier said than done, so lili prays for the former more than anything. and while lili does not beg, her words seem to beg to differ. 

"we'll talk more in april."

lili leaves feeling like she’s said something she shouldn’t have. a fault of saying too much to ears that only nitpicked to their heart’s desire. a disadvantage, lili thinks, as she walks away from her meeting with youngjae with an almost bitter taste in her mouth. suddenly, lili did not care for how fast time felt. she did not look forward to april. 

ON ENEMY LINES. soapsuds will never quench her taste buds  —  @lgcxmimi

part of her wonders where the hell was this soap when she was surrounded by nothing but chicken shit. ugh, talk about timing — the stench of the herbal suds were giving her a headache, a migraine, whatever that now seemed to cease the further she got away from the numerous boxes that were currently hoarding the unsold bars. 

what was more aggravating than the overwhelming smell was how unfair the sales were. how the fuck were they supposed to even sell soaps? if these village hicks couldn’t sell it, did they think some city dwellers who spent their days dancing hours on end in the basement could? 

she frowns, they really must have hit the rock bottom of variety television.

chancing upon one of the younger girls, she reaches out with her own bill to them. not caring if she was aiding the ‘enemy’ — she needed a drink, and at least theirs would give her a temporary quench to whatever ailment she was suffering from.

“can i get one?” her head tilts to the jug at the side.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

they say that for every cherry blossom petal that you catch in your hand, you get a wish. were you able to make any wishes? i know what i would wish for 💝

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili