I Know You Don’t Speak My Language But I Love The Way She’s Talking To Me   —   @lgcamelia,

BIRTH NAME   —   li yifei (李亦菲) LEGAL NAME   —   xu yifei (徐亦菲) ENGLISH NAME   —   xu lili (徐莉莉) KOREAN NAME   —   seo yeokbi (서역비), seo lili (서리리) BIRTHDAY   —   january 01, 2001 BIRTHPLACE   —   beijing, china BLOOD TYPE   —   AB ZODIAC SIGN   —  capricorn FAVORITE MOTTO   —

it is not enough to be good, if better is possible.

RANDOM FACTS   —

took ballet for twelve years

born in beijing, she moved to los angeles when she was 7

was adopted by her grandmother when she moved to the usa, there she gained dual citizenship

can speak 3 languages: mandarin, english and korean

her favorite color is baby pink

was about to debut in a low-level company but was dropped from the lineup for 'unknown' reasons

is very much into fashion, enjoys thrifting and calls vogue and harper's bazaar her bible

loves sour candies, her favorite is sour tamarind-flavored candies

claims that her last meal would be an iced americano, sour tamarind candies and malatang

loves spicy food, and the more it numbs her tongue, the better

loves wong kar-wai movies, especially in the mood for love and chungking express

is very into nail art and always, always, always has her nails done

her favorite singers are christina aguilera, britney spears, mariah carey, sza and ariana grande

YEAR END GOALS   —

debut

work on her whistle register

challenge herself with more difficult choreographies

PREVIOUS APPEARANCES & PROJECTS   —

n/a

MOST MEMORABLE EVENT   —

n/a

“i think i passed him briefly in the makeup trailer.” what lili should have done was introduce herself but what happened to being a gentleman? should lili do everything herself? 

before lili could huff at the comment, he’s retracting it and all lili could do was pout — lips formed, whether because she lost her chance to tease him for it or that she was looking for an outlet to rid her of her nerves.

nerves? around jisoo — who knew.

“sure, i suppose that’s what you meant.” she could only believe him at face value, “how do you know we won’t start a fight in the middle of the shoot — strong personalities and all?” wondering where jisoo’s head was at — to put the two of them together, if that had been the case. lili would have thought it be a disaster — strong personalities often were, especially when pitted against another, if not, stronger one. 

if she chooses not to keep it, he thinks it'd be very amusing if a package arrived for her in the mail anyway - which haru and lili likely would be gifted after it was all over, when the shooting wrapped up, but jisoo isn't going to say that right now, as he definitely is no mind reader and cannot figure lili out - even after all these years, tragic. ( or maybe, the better way to say it is, he can figure her out, but its always better to not say it aloud to dispel the moment. )

the corners of his eyes crease as he smiles, nonplussed at her demeanour. it seems... the shoot will run smoothly? permitting that the two mains don't butt heads. "i mean, you know i can if i am in the corner. just don't put me in the corner, and i won't bite,' clearing his throat, he glances in the direction where she is towards and agrees. "perhaps that may be one of the ones selected. we certainly won't only pick one, so there is some variety." everything seems to be coming aligned, unlike the rarity in the sky that will never occur. but for him, the three of them aligning on the same trajectory was enough.

"have you met your co-star yet?" jisoo must inquire, since it is likely that the dual shots will come soon. "i hope neither of you will chase the other away with respectively, strong personalities in very different ways. its a compliment, i swear," he insists, holding his palms out.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

fun fact! did you know that the year of the snake is my chinese zodiac? so, as my zodiac intends, and as the clock strikes on the last hour of my birthday, i declare that this will be my year of transformation, renewal and spiritual growth! 

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

grin and bear it, she told herself from the mirror.

but no matter how many times she chanted that she was a million miles away on some uncharted island, sipping mimosas and lounging under a below the equator heat, something — more like someone — always seemed to break her out of her reverie. to be exact — it just so happened to be the incessant squawking of her peers. 

somehow, they had taken it upon themselves to run around until they got that correct ha! and to no one surprise, it had gotten to lili’s nerves rather quickly — to a point that she was wondering if she should feign an illness, or maybe fake a fainting spell? what could get her out of this room and out of earshot of these fucking mockingbirds. 

just when she had half the mind to fake a faint right then and there — she spots chaekyung. in ten seconds flat, she’s near and dear, fallen into the other’s arms in what could only be seen as lili’s very own oscar-worthy performance, for all the practice room to see and hear. “oh, chaekyung — i don’t feel so well. check my temperature, will you? i feel so faint.” she directs a look to the other before continuing her play, a frown playing on her lips as she breathes low and slow. 

✩⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀ 𝐨𝐲𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐢⠀ ˎˊ˗ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ft. @lgclili

"can i skip the part where we have to scream? no? okay..." chaekyung sighed as the coach denied her request. of all the songs she was assigned, "catallena" was her least favorite and for good reason. the song was loud (literally) and the dance moves were bizarre. she couldn't even fathom what kind of strange outfit she'd have to wear on filming day. perhaps she'd spend most of the time with her head lowered, consumed by embarrassment.

glancing around at the other trainees, who were busy perfecting their screams, chaekyung poked two fingers into her ears. it felt like being trapped in a haunted house, but in broad daylight with the practice room lights on. "hah," she muttered under her breath, realizing only the ants could hear her. "hah. hah." this time, slightly louder, her eyes fixed on the ground as her fingers remained in her ears, drowning out the noises to focus on her voice.

chaekyung was holding up fine until someone leaned against her. it was lili. "unnie, are you alright?" lili asked, using her body to support the older female's weight.

“please.” she nearly whines.

picture this: lili — a woman who held all the grace and poise in the world in a singular fingernail. now throw all that grace and poise out the window and replace it with contempt and a blood-thirst for revenge then you’d have the xu lili of today, or more precisely, of right now.

she groans as she feels asami pull her up with all the strength she could muster. “these little urchin — i mean gremli — kids thought it’d be funny to give me a nudge,” that was putting it kindly. feeling herself unsteady at the soles, she uses asami’s shoulder to steady herself before letting go of the other woman’s hand with a grim smile — ‘smile’, really, because lili had nothing to smile about because the kids who tried to unalive her were literally standing beside them looking as disappointed as ever at their failed attempt. 

“now that wasn't nice, right, kids?” she asks a bit more sternly than she should before asami’s comment catches up with her and a hand flies to her head, lips dropping open in horror — “what? oh no — what’s wrong with it?” her hand immediately combs through it, hoping that nothing had caught into the strands. 

Here, surrounded by stuffed animals, all Asami could think about was her niece and if her brother had given her the stuffed bear, she got her when she was born. She’s more than six months old now, certainly a kid could be trusted to have one of those without suffocating or something, right?

Helping the kids felt like a good way to practice, to be honest, since Asami doesn’t have a lot of time to go back to Tokyo and actively participate in her niece’s life. She must learn how to me an aunt sooner rather than later, after all, and volunteering, despite not being her first choice for a Saturday activity, wasn’t all that bad. She enjoys being around children, and after the birth of little miss Mayumi, her liking of the little ones has seemed to increase theoretically. With her busy schedule, it’s not like she sees children all that often after all.

Asami is only pulled out of her reverie when she hears someone ask for help, and she wishes it was easier to find the source, but it really wasn’t since the stuffed animals, “Hi, uhm, I just need a second,” Asami says as she tries looking and see if any of the children are of any help. They aren’t. She must definitely look a little too silly, and she definitely looked comical like a cartoon character when she found the person in need because her mouth opened in a perfect O shape. “Lili unnie, my god, how did you end up there?” Asami offers her a hand and pulls her up. Despite her best instincts, Asami lets herself smile a little, “your hair is all over the place. I hope you didn’t land on leftover candy. Can I help you?”

there were many things lili should be right now:

encouraging, sympathetic — even more, empathetic — a good pillar of support to a friend who was going through something that lili could only understand at surface level.

what lili should not be right now is bitter.

but her little green friend sits high on her shoulder, on a pedestal of envy that could not be toppled with something as heartfelt as ‘being a good friend’. no, lili had never been a good friend — even when she tried her hardest, at her core, she was a selfish friend who was also ambitious to a fault. so, when she sees someone else who had something that she wanted and could never get — well, something had to give.

unfortunately, lili was not a giving person.

( at least not in that way )

yujin was only being honest. and any good, trustworthy friend should be considerate to the other’s feelings. but was there anything lili could say to remedy the situation that didn’t sound so … volatile? nothing seemed to come to mind, everything that nearly dripped from her lips felt like a slap to the face waiting to happen. 

so, instead, she sighs when yujin regresses and instantly she feels a pang of guilt shoot right into her gut at how she had nearly bit the other's head off, but before she could stop herself and lessen the blow; her ugly head reared itself again, “so, you got everything you could have ever wanted, yujin, the pressure should have been expected as a trade off to debuting, right?”

there was always a give and take with these things — fame wasn’t given to the weak. "wasn’t this why we spent all this time training so that we wouldn’t break under this type of pressure?"

yujin knew how lucky she was to be in this position after failing future dreams. the doom she felt in her chest the following week was unsettling, and she started to prepare what she would do if she couldn't debut. she had trained for so many years that not debuting on that show had felt like all her hard work was starting to slip through her fingers.

to debut into crystallis, there was a new set of pressure on her shoulders, and yujin felt it from the managers and the fans, who probably weren't so pleased with the latest additions to the group. for the rest of her career, she will play catch-up with the other girls and constantly prove her worth, that she has every right to be there on that stage.

these words shamelessly slipped from the blonde's mouth to her friend, lili. she didn't want to complain or seem ungrateful, but there was something still so unsettling about her placement now. it would take time for her to get used to everything, to being an idol and in a group that was already so well established. there was always going to be some sort of struggle in this journey, but as long as she was able to get this off her chest, yujin would feel better.

well, she thought she would feel better if the tone shift didn't make yujin fidget in her seat. there was a small smile that tightened on her lip. maybe she was thinking way too much into this.

"ah, nothing... i think it was just something i needed to share with someone i trust. you work so hard to get to this point, and you never realize the amount of pressure set on you to be perfect."

lili immediately raises her fingers to form an ‘x’ in rejection. “no, no — just brunette and maybe layers, but no bangs.” lili was firm with her likes and her dislikes and she absolutely disliked the idea of bangs on herself. 

“yea, it’s kinda crazy. but i guess expected since we’re not like debuted official just training official? at least we get exposure through the company instagram.” like a pebble in an ocean, lili surmises. “better than nothing,” she adds at the end even if it was closer to nothing than anything else on her end.

nodding, her hand pushes the tray further towards kyoka with a smile, “はいー めしあがれ.” her japanese had somehow gotten better to a fault, enough for casual remarks but still not well enough to hold a lengthy conversation. 

Kyoka cocks her head to the side and blinks. Fair enough, Lili does look great as a brunette and she makes sure to say as much. Very mindful, very demure, she nods approvingly. Hey, maybe she should consider going brunette too someday, "With bangs too maybe, what do you think?" she asks, grabbing the tip of her hair to illustrate her vision.

She shrugs, the idea clearly not bothering her that much. "Everyone I really know is here or they're back home still and I'm not allowed to talk about them." She was definitely forgetting a lot of other people around her, but then again, she never made enough of an impression for people to really notice her anyways. "Can you believe we're not allowed in any social media, not even from fans posting about random meetings?"

And does she want Lili's potatoes, of course she does. Kyoka never turns down free food and she's also almost always kind of hungry anyways. Her piling up on the potatoes onto her plate is her response, and it's only right before she takes her first bite that she remembers to thank Lili, "I do, いただきます!!" head bobbing as she spoke.

“and it doesn’t bother you at all?” insane. absolute insanity. country folk were definitely built different, lili thinks.

“a bit.” she mumbles, even if she could still smell the horrible stench of chicken poop, it did help a little — enough that lili couldn’t keep herself from winding her arms around the other girl out of gratitude, as if the smallest gesture had somehow warmed lili’s frozen heart in a matter of seconds. 

she wouldn’t call the other her life savior but it was a start, wasn’t it?

she smiles beneath the cloth, a laugh teetering at the tip of her tongue. “what would i have done without you?” probably suffered the rest of the day and then some, but she cuts to the chase. pulling herself off the other girl as she stabilizes her squat and stares into the dirt. “i just wish there was something i could spray into it, though. maybe it would help it.”

[ ♥ ]

jaekyung was a perceptive person. she could tell that some took to their variety location less enthusiastic than others. if she'd been a born city girl, perhaps she'd been the same. however growing up on a farm on the country side equipped her with skills that fortunately lead her to approach this outing with a feeling of nostalgia and joy while breathing through the tasks with an ease only someone familiar with the tasks could portray.

"I'm used to it," she thus tells lili as the girl falls down into a crouch beside her. exhibit a of classic city girl. "I grew up on a farm. so this isn't anything new for me," the girl continues to reason with a grin on her lips.

she did however take pity on the poor female who was obviously having a bad time. not wanting her to receive potential bad feedback from the moment this went live, jaekyung decided to help her out. "come here. I have an idea." taking her gloves off she made use of the towel that hung close by, sure to do a quick sniff test before she tied it in a way that would allow lili's nose to remain covered and hopefully kill some of the smell. "better?"

“hypothetically!” lili adds after the fact. though, despite herself, fiery temperament and all, lili did know how to be professional. and the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass herself — and sure, by extension jisoo, as well — in front of people she could very well work with again in the future. one could never know what the future had in store, building roots rather than burning bridges should be her main priority.

( even if lili was too good at burning bridges, today she’ll play nice )

“don’t worry, i’ll be good.”

if being good meant putting her pretty smile, only to complain to jisoo’s ear after the shoot, then yes — lili will be oh so good.

“the face is off limits but who said the ribs or the ankles couldn’t take a kick or two?” she’s joking, now, obviously. lili would rather admit defeat than risk breaking a nail, or worse, getting a scar on any part of her. 

call her surprised; a brow raising in expectation at his words. “is this really the han jisoo? or has some alien taken over your body? or maybe you’re a business-minded double?” anything she wanted? oh, where has this jisoo been all her life? willfully ignoring the 'within reason' addition, she smiles, “really — anything at all?”

if there's anyone that can provoke a reaction out of him, there's two people that up in his mind, and one of them is lili. for sure! headlining the main act : li yifei. congratutions. "now why would you be starting a fight in the middle of a shoot, if not on purpose." there's a finger at his temple, and jisoo allows her to have this sigh that escapes from his throat unwillingly.

there's some silence between them as jisoo simply stares at lili, unsure of how to even entertain or respond to this. comedic reply? or a stern reply? "i'll pull haru out of there myself if i have to, no black eyes allowed for anyone. some arguing back and forth? by all means, get into it emotionally if you have to. makes for better content. or something like that." of course, out of earshot of anyone else, who could hear him encouraging a disagreement. he's sure that neither of the starring parties would let it get that far.

"if there's something that will make you behave, speak it aloud and if i can make it happen, i will. do you want something on set? or off set? i can have it delivered if," emphasis on if, jisoo says with enunciation, "if its within reason."

BLANK SPACES. lili hates to bother (she doesn't, in reality, she is the bother) but desperate times call for desperate measures — @lgcrua

her head is blank. a struggle lili has never once encountered before. then again, not once had she ever thought she would be attempting to choreograph something for herself again. it’s been years since ballet school and the recitals and the long nights of endless, frustrated grueling over steps and motions that lili had thought she had put behind her.

and yet —

she stands, with her hands on her hips as she lets the song play again through her airpods; repeating the motion as languidly as possible so that she doesn’t tire herself out like all those years ago when she would just run full-throttle into every move. 

it still didn’t look right — didn’t feel right either — as she does the move thrice over. because of this — she could feel the vein in her forehead ready to pop, frustration bubbling to the surface. lili hated being wrong, but she also hated wasting her time. 

from the side she spots — rua, was it? — plucking a pod from her ear, she waves with as much finesse as she can muster despite herself, “hey — rua, right?” 

“can i get your opinion on something? i keep doing this move but i feel like it doesn’t look right.”