Peak Tv

Men use “I’m just a man” to cheat on their wives. Odysseus uses “I’m just a man” to kill, slay and torture people to get back to HIS wife. They are not the same.

who i write for

Harry Potter Universe:

Golden Trio Era:

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger

Ron Weasley

Draco Malfoy

Enzo Berkshire

Mattheo Riddle

Blaise Zabini

Theodore Nott

Pansy Parkinson

Ginny Weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Oliver Wood

Marcus Flint

Terrence Higgs

Marauders Era:

James Potter

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Lily Evans

Regulus Black

Pandora Rosier

Evan Rosier

Barty Crouch Jr.

Dorcas Meadows

Marlene McKinnon

Molly Prewett

Arthur Weasley

Lucius Malfoy

Narcissa Black

Bellatrix Black

Rodolphus Lestrange

Rabastan Lestrange

Ted Tonks

Andromeda Black

Riddle Era:

Tom Riddle

Abraxas Malfoy

Eileen Prince

Tobias Snape

Orion Black

Walburga Black

Euphemia

Fleamont Potter

Riordanverse:

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Grover Underwood

Clarisse La Rue

Zoe Nightshade

Thalia Grace

Will Solace

Nico di Angelo

Silena Beauregard

Charles Beckendorf

Luke Castellan

Leo Valdez

Jason Grace

Piper McLean

Disney Descendants:

Mal

Evie

Ben

Jay

Carlos

Audrey

Chad

Uma

Harry Hook

Gil

Chloe

Red

Bridget

Ella

James Hook

Morgie

Uliana

Hades

Maleficent

The Umbrella Academy:

Luther Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

Allison Hargreeves

Klaus Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves

Ben Hargreeves (Umbrella and Sparrow)

Viktor Hargreeves

Sloane Hargreeves

Fei Hargreeves

Alphonso Hargreeves

Haikyuu:

All Characters

The School For Good and Evil

Sophie

Agnes

Tedros

Hort

Beatrix

Anadil

Chinen

Hester

Dot

Kiko

My Hero Academia

Izuku Midoriya

Bakugo Katsuki

Kirishima Ejiro

Denki Kaminari

Sero Hanta

Mina Ashido

Iida Tenya

Ochako Uraraka

Momo Yaoyarozu

Shoto Todorki

Aizawa Shouta

Present Mic

Midnight

Endeavor

CBS Ghosts

Isaac Higgintoot

Nigel Chisum

Trevor

Hetty

Flower

Thorfinn

Stephanie

Pete

Formula 1

Max Verstappen

Lando Norris

Charles Leclerc

Oscar Piastri

Carlos Sainz

Lewis Hamilton

George Russell

Lance Stroll

Yuki Tsunoda

Alex Albon

Daniel Ricciardo

Pierre Gasly

Oliver Bearman

Fernando Alonso

Mark Webber

Jenson Button

Kimi Raikonnen

Hellaverse

Blitz

Millie and Moxxie (will not write for them separately)

Loona

Octavia

Stolas

Stolitz

Fizzarolli

Asmodeus

Fizzmodeus

Mammon

Satan

Vassago

Andrealphus

Striker

Charlie Morningstar

Vaggie

Angel Dust

Alastor (no smut, he is ace)

Husk

Huskerdust

Lucifer Morningstar

Adam

Valentino

Vox

Velvette

The Vees (poly)

Zestial

Rosie

Sir Pentious

Saint Peter

f1 grid (1/2) | pranking the parents

୨ৎ : featuring : max verstappen, lewis hamilton, george russell, carlos sainz, charles leclerc (click here for part two) ୨ৎ : synopsis (requested by 🫐) : when you prank your boyfriend’s mom or sister, he plays along a little too well...will they take your side?

୨ৎ : genre : comedy ୨ৎ : word count : 1208

୨ৎ masterlist ୨ৎ

ᡣ𐭩 a/n : im running out of pics to use for the banner omfg

ʚ・max verstappen

spending time with max and his sister, victoria, was always entertaining.

the three of you were lounging in the verstappen living room, a race playing faintly in the background while max scrolled through his phone, feet kicked up on the coffee table.

you stretched dramatically, looking over at him. “babe, can you grab me some water from the kitchen?”

max didn’t even glance up, completely deadpan as he muttered—

“do i look like your assistant?”

silence.

you barely had time to process what happened next.

victoria’s head snapped toward max so fast, you swore she almost gave herself whiplash.

her eyebrows shot up, pure disbelief etched across her face.

“max, what the hell? be nice.”

max, still committed to the bit, shrugged. “what? she can walk.”

victoria’s expression darkened.

and before max could react, a pillow came flying across the room, smacking him directly in the face.

you gasped, quickly covering your mouth to hold back laughter.

max blinked, stunned, the pillow still resting in his lap. “did you just—”

victoria crossed her arms, unimpressed. “go help her before i make you regret it.”

max groaned, dragging himself off the couch like it was the biggest inconvenience of his life. “fine. but i want it on record that i was forced.”

you smirked as he trudged toward the kitchen, victoria shaking her head in pure disappointment.

“you put up with that?” she asked, exasperated.

you grinned. “eh, he’s useful sometimes.”

from the kitchen, max’s voice rang out. “i heard that.”

ʚ・lewis hamilton

family dinners with the hamiltons were always a warm affair, good food, laughter, and anthony hamilton’s unmatched ability to tell stories that had everyone hooked.

you nudged lewis gently. “babe, can you grab me a drink from the fridge?”

without missing a beat, he shrugged lazily, not even looking up from his plate.

“you have legs, don't you?”

the table fell silent.

lewis barely registered the shift in energy before his dad, anthony hamilton himself, slowly turned to him.

“lewis carl davidson hamilton.”

lewis froze mid-bite. oh, no.

anthony placed his fork down with a deliberate slowness that made the whole moment so much worse.

“what did you just say to y/n? ‘she has legs?’ well, so do you, be a gentleman!”

your hand was clamped over your mouth, trying so hard not to laugh.

lewis, already feeling the heat, looked around for an escape route. “dad, it’s a joke—”

anthony didn’t let him finish.

“no, what’s a joke is me raising a son who forgets his manners.”

at that moment, lewis knew he had lost.

sighing dramatically, he pushed back his chair, already getting up. “alright, alright, i’m going!”

anthony nodded approvingly, taking a sip of his drink. “that’s more like it.”

as lewis disappeared into the kitchen, you exchanged a knowing glance with his dad, who simply smirked.

“give him a hard time, yeah?” anthony murmured, and you grinned.

“oh, always.”

ʚ・george russell

you reached for the sugar but stopped just short, looking at george. “babe, can you pass me the sugar?”

george barely glanced up from his tea, a smirk creeping onto his lips.

“what, are your hands broken?”

silence.

dramatic, suffocating, judgmental silence.

then—a sharp gasp.

“george william russell!”

george physically flinched.

his mother had set her teacup down with force, staring at him like he had just committed high treason against the british monarchy.

he looked between you and his mum, instantly regretting everything.

“mum, it’s not that serious,” he tried, hands slightly raised in defense.

alison placed a hand over her chest, shaking her head in pure disappointment.

“it is very serious. where did i go wrong with you?”

you were seconds away from losing it, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing.

finally, you cracked, giggling as you waved your hands in surrender.

“it’s a prank!” you admitted, barely able to get the words out.

george sighed in relief, running a hand through his hair. “bloody hell, you nearly got me disowned.”

alison, however, was unfazed, lifting her tea to her lips as she shook her head.

“y/n, you could do so much better.”

george nearly spilled his tea.

“mu—are you serious?!”

you grinned, winking at alison.

“maybe.”

ʚ・carlos sainz

reyes sainz effortlessly kept everyone in check without even raising her voice.

which is exactly why you knew this prank would be perfect.

the family was gathered around the table, laughter and conversation flowing easily as you reached for your glass.

you turned to carlos, your voice sweet. “cariño, can you grab me a napkin?”

carlos, not even looking up from his plate, shrugged.

“get it yourself.”

silence.

instant. deafening. silence.

you felt the temperature drop by ten degrees as carlos’ mother, reyes, slowly set down her fork.

then, in the calmest, most dangerous voice, she said—

“perdón?” (excuse me?)

carlos finally looked up, suddenly very aware that the entire table was staring at him.

you could feel the panic radiating off him as he quickly backtracked, already regretting every life choice that led him to this moment.

reyes’ gaze remained sharp, assessing.

then, with the slightest tilt of her head, she said—

“carlos, go get it before i do something you’ll regret.”

carlos shot up so fast, his chair nearly tipped over as he rushed to the napkin holder.

you lost it, laughter spilling out as the entire table erupted in amusement.

reyes simply shook her head, taking a sip of her wine. “you two are ridiculous, but, y/n, if he ever speaks to you like that again, you tell me.”

carlos, returning defeated, dropped the napkin in front of you with a glare.

you grinned, leaning in. “what's it like getting scolded by your mother, amor?”

ʚ・charles leclerc

spending time with charles and his brothers, arthur and lorenzo, was always entertaining.

three leclerc men in one room meant a mix of teasing, bickering, and an unspoken rule that charles could never win an argument.

which is why you knew this prank would be gold.

“oh, charles, can you grab my sunglasses from the car?”

charles, casually sipping his espresso, waved a hand dismissively.

“that's far, get it yourself”

silence.

dead. serious. silence.

arthur whipped his head around so fast, you thought he might get whiplash.

“charles. that’s not how you talk to your girlfriend.”

lorenzo, who had been calmly eating his meal, set his fork down with purpose.

“apologize. immediately.”

charles’ expression shifted from smug to terrified in under two seconds.

his green eyes darted between his brothers, realization dawning that he was outnumbered, outgunned, and completely screwed.

“guys, relax, it’s not that—”

arthur leaned forward, voice dead serious. “no. apologize.”

you pressed your lips together, trying not to laugh, but the way charles was visibly sweating was making it so much harder.

finally, you cracked, bursting into laughter.

arthur and lorenzo turned to you, confused, as you giggled uncontrollably.

“it’s a prank,” you admitted, wiping away a tear.

arthur sat back, sighing dramatically. “i was about to throw my fork at you, charles.”

lorenzo took another sip of his drink, completely unfazed. “the threat still stands.”

charles muttered something under his breath as he begrudgingly got up to fetch your sunglasses.

you smirked, watching him walk away. “i love this family.”

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I’m not a bad man, I’m just overwhelmed ⌇ somno ❪ smut ⨾ drabble ❫

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content i create who i write for

It really just hit me that we are living through history.

Even if you are not a Max Verstappen or Red Bull Racing fan, stop for a moment and relish in the greatness we’ve witnessed these past four seasons.

I remember being young and asking my father and grandfathers about Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost and Niki Lauda.

I remember being just old enough to understand the enormity of what Michael Schumacher was able to accomplish towards the end of his time with Ferrari.

One day our own children and grandchildren will oooh and aaah about how we got to witness Sebastian Vettel and Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen’s domination.

This sport moves quick. Champions come and go. Drivers come and go. Teams come and go.

So stop for a moment and just appreciate the era of Formula 1 we’ve been lucky enough to live through.

Incredibly 'Man' Things You'd Find Them Doingˎˊ˗

this is sooooo funny. basically the guys being masculine.

Neil would sneak behind you to grab tea. Nothing said, just slipping his arm past your waist to get a kettle and make his morning earl grey. Gives you shivers lol.

Steven does your taxes for you. He'd insist you'd be there to give him warm company, but he'd distractedly put your leg up his lap and squeeze on your ankle. He lets it stay there, eyes focused, fingers gripping his pen and etching on whatever is necessary. He would pull you back if you even attempted going away.

Richard would have road rage. Not the annoying loans-it-on-you kind. It's the him yelling out "I've got my wife in the car. Steer right, you asshole!" kind. He's stuck with taking deep breaths the next few minutes, then kissing the back of your palm, "I'm sorry, honey"... after it he'll return being laser-focused on finding your destination. ^_^

Charlie fixes things; whether it's your porch swing that always creaks, the barbecue grill your family hasn't used in years, or the hole on the ceiling no one bothered to patch back up. One day you'll just find him with oil smothered all over his shirt, hands, chin. He comes up to you and when you ask him what he just did, he swings a towel on his neck and urges you back in. He's mister "Nothing, baby. I got it all covered."

Todd bites on things to stabilize them. Making a kite? The string is in mouth as he sticks the paper in place. Tracing the lawn fence? He has a marker on his mouth, closing it with a 'click!' when he's finished. He gives you a triumphant grin right after and you always melt.

Knox domineers for you in the sweetest most ugh way you could fathom. He'd speak to strangers when you're not feeling up for it, he'd order what you love off the menu as you hold onto his arm and snuggle against him, and he'll help you lift that huge pile of groceries to the house in one go. He gets all sweaty and panting after, and it really gets you.

Gerard rubs on your hips lovingly when you sit on his lap, all dreamy-eyed as he looks up to your eyes. He admires you so much, his girl, his woman. "You're my everything," he'd croak out so quietly, you barely heard it. It ends with you cooing at him, pampering him with love.

.........

dedicated to:

@someone-sss @sorazki @tofallatlastbutfair @shemisseshome @yournormalidiot @anderperry-soliloquies @unfortunately-lilith @heyyyloverr @theduckwithafroghat @marzcrx @dpspolariod @itslusii @blackestwhiteswan @awkwardducks @sleeping-arsonist @asuperconfusedgirl @ajsljfe @noam-isd

im having writer’s block omg

you don't even get three episodes into tom and jerry before that faggot jerry uses mistletoe to get tom to stop chasing him and kiss him instead. and that faggot tom coquettishly complies.