IF THIS ISN'T THE BEST AND PUREST THING EVER

happy Father’s Day to my favorite step up dad

Me and @madison-is-a-small-baby agreed to write a stupid story with a time limit of 5 mins to complete it. It’s supposed to be whatever comes to our minds and this is the result. Beware and enjoy :)

You walked down the street and saw a man with a fish. The man said, “want a fish?” You said no. He wasn’t pleased. He pulled out a watch and wiped away a tear. He said, “I remember my dad had a watch.” You nodded but didn’t care so you walked away. You continued on your journey until you found the same man in a cop car. You were confused. Even more so when he looked at you and pulled out his watch again. The sirens started blaring and you started running but he hit you with the fish so you fell. He got out of the car and walked over to you and crouched down to your level. “Do you believe me now?” You shook your head in honesty but he wasn’t okay with that. “You liar!” He screamed about his dog being brown and called you racist and took you to jail. In your cell, you woke up to find your potatoes had a footstep in them. You recognized the foot size immediately and turned to find the man sitting on the toilet. “You come here often? He asked standing up. You say “no you just arrested me.” He laughed. “No, I didn’t I’m a convict. Man, you should stop taking those m&ms for pain relief.” Your head started spinning from all of the confusion and you flew away.

The end.

*Deku and Bakugou forced to clean the dorms*

Deku, mumble singing: Hmm, but you didn’t have to-

Bakugou: DEKU DON’T

Sero, runs in: CUT ME OFF!

Kirishima, screams from kitchen: MAKE OUT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPEND-

Mina, runs slides in: AND THAT WE WERE NOTHING

Kaminari, rolls from under the couch: AND I DON’T EVEN NEED YOUR LOVE!

Jirou, from couch: But you treat me like a stranger-

Todoroki, walking in randomly and confused: And that feels so rough?

All of them: NO YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO STOOP SO LOW!

Bakugou: WTF DEKU, I TOLD YOU N- Aaaaand you’re not listening

Deku, joining in the others: HAVE YOUR FRIENDS COLLECT YOUR RECORDS AND CHANGE YOUR NUMBER!!

Kurogiri is a mom

*Kurogiri and Giran sitting at the bar*

Giran: So, how’s it been with all of the new recruits?

Kurogiri: Busy, to say the least.

Giran: Yeah, I guess it would be when they’re all coming up with strategies-

Shigaraki, running into the room with Dabi chasing him: Mom, make Dabi leave me alone!

Dabi: I didn’t even do anything! He’s the one who you should be mad at!

Kurogiri: What was it this time?

Shigaraki: He picked his nose and now he’s trying to rub it on me!

Dabi: Not true!

Kurogiri: Dabi, I told you to stop doing that, so stop it or you’re grounded.

Mustard, storming into the room: Mom, Toga won’t get out of the bathroom! I need to shit and she knows that but she’s still in there!

Toga from the washroom: I’m brushing my teeth, you pest!

Mustard: For an hour!?

Kurogiri: Toga, just brush your teeth in the kitchen sink.

Toga: I need the mirror!

Mustard: Go find one! I need the fucking toilet or I’m literally going to shit myself!

Toga: Just go outside!

Kurogiri: Just do what you’re told, Toga.

Mr. Compress from the door: Hey, Mom, is it cool if me and Muscular go kill people?

Kurogiri, pinching the bridge of his nose: No, we’re laying low for a while.

Mr. Compress: Please? We’ll be quick and-

Kurogiri: I said no and that means no!

Twice: Mom, Moonfish ate a dude outside! I actually murdered him myself.

Kurogiri, inhaling deeply and massaging his temples: Twice, just go sit down.

Twice: What, why? I hate you!

Magne, strolling in sweetly: Mom, can we get candy? Spinner reminded me I haven’t had candy in forever so now I want it.

Kurogiri, pouring himself a drink: No, go eat something else we already have.

Magne: But, Mom-

Kurogiri: I’ll make you some grilled cheese in a little while, okay?

Magne: Okay!

The rest of the villains: I want grilled cheese!

Kurogiri: Be good and you’ll get it!

Kurogiri, turning back to Giran and downing the shot: So as I was saying, it’s been pretty busy around here.

Dr. Timothy Headcanon

So this takes place after everyone has joined forces and work together as Freedom Pals.

One day, Dr. Timothy comes into their base but he's be pretty tired from a fight the night prior or from staying up all night to make efficient strategies for the team. So when he is debriefing the team and giving everyone their missions, he forgets to use his telekinesis, therefore, leaving everyone but FastPass pretty freaking confused as all he says is his name. However, they are quick to let him know, causing him to apologize immediately and use his powers.

After it happened the second time, FastPass suggested that they wait to see how long it takes for their leader to realize the issue on his own and time it. The others agreed - after much fight from Mysterion - and so while Dr. Timothy talked, FastPass would jot down everything he said, while The Coon timed it and the others tried not to laugh when they saw the minutes go by.

The longest time was three hours and that was because the others learned to cover up their confusion with fake understanding, which made him think they understood. He only realized no one understood him when he told Super Craig to repeat the plan back to him, and the latter turned to FastPass and tried to read off of his notes.

When Doctor Timothy first found out what they were doing, he was not very pleased because he found it embarrassing and he figured he might as well just write a note rather than talk to them. But it didn't take him very long to laugh along with them since he knew they still got everything done thanks to FastPass' translations and he was glad they were all getting along and joking around like friends, rather than just colleagues. Besides, he realized that it was pretty funny.

Teacher Slumber Party at UA - featuring Best Jeanist

All Might: Hey, Best Jeanist, we’re gonna play truth or dare, you should play with us!

Best Jeanist: No.

Present Mic: Aw, why not? You haven’t played in forever!

Best Jeanist: That’s because someone always dares me to wear something other than jeans.

Midnight: We just want you to be comfortable. Let loose and be wild! 

Best Jeanist: I am comfortable. Thank you for the concern, once again,

Snipe: Of course but you don’t need to wear jeans just because it’s in your hero name. You’re allowed to change, you know.

Best Jeanist: If I wasn’t okay with wearing jeans, I wouldn’t wear them aLL THE T I M E .

Gang Orca: BUT THE FABRIC IS TOO ROUGH, IT COULD IRRITATE YOUR SKIN!

Best Jeanist: MY SKIN’S FINE, YOU’RE THE ONLY THINGS IRRITATING ME!

Cementoss: We mean no offense, we just think it’s gotten out of hand, is all.

Best Jeanist, clad in his jajamas and jlippers, wrapped in his jlanket: Why?

The others:

Best Jeanist:

Aizawa: Let’s just play a different game.

Jimmy Headcanon

Whenever Jimmy is arguing with someone over something - whether it be fact or opinion - he'll suggest getting a third party to see who is right and always gets Timmy because no one else can understand him.

Jimmy and Craig: *arguing about something*

Jimmy: L-let's ask Timmy and see w-what he th-thinks.

Jimmy, after getting Timmy to come over: What m-music is better to b-b-blast at a club? 80's music or 90's m-music?

Timmy: Timmy!

Jimmy, to a confused Craig: S-see? I t-told you 80's music is b-better for clubs

Bonus: usually Timmy agrees with the other person but nobody else knows

*after Craig leaves*

Timmy: Timmy? Jimmy! Ah, Timmy!

Jimmy: I kn-know you think the Sp-Sp-Spice Girls would make a club more kickass, b-but Craig d-doesn't need to know that.

Tsukki is soft for Yamaguchi

Hinata: Hey, Tsukishima! 

Tsukishima: What do you want?

Hinata: We’re going out for lunch, did you wanna come? It’ll only be us first years there. Even Yachi’s coming!

Tsukishima: Ew. Hell no.

Kageyama: You don’t need to be a dick, he was being nice. I didn’t even want to invite you-

Tsukishima: Well, I don’t even want to go so that works.

Yamaguchi, sadly: Wait, Tsukki, you’re not coming? Did you want me to stay here with you instead? I don’t mind.

Tsukishima, sighing: Fuck, fine. I’ll come.

Yamaguchi: :D

Tsukishima, once no one is looking: :)

I feel like something similar to this has happened

Uneducated reporter: So, why would they let you be in charge of a school full of future heroes?

Nezu: Well, I believe it’s because of my abilities, cooperativeness, and my aspiration to help the younger generation become better heroes than us.

Uneducated reporter: Okay, but what makes you qualified for this job? I mean, you seem nice but it takes more than a polite rodent to handle this kind of responsibility.

Nezu, resisting the urge to step forward because even though he’s hurt, he knows that it would result in the reporter stepping back and tripping on a rock that would cause him to fall into oncoming traffic, which is basically murder: I hAvE aN eDuCaTiOn.