"if It Was Me I Wouldn't Have Looked" "if It Was Me I Would've Taken Her Out Of The Underworld Safely"

Gatekeeping is so good and important

Shippy slasher sketch dump

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

Matt: You know what they say- where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Near: And Mello.

vanilla extract

https://youtu.be/Gz5zyo7Ny8E

“You’re dripping like a saturated sunrise You’re spilling like an overflowing sink You’re ripped at every edge But you’re a masterpiece…”

Obey me characters google searches. Some have multiple because they're dumb

Uh..potty language and NSFW themes bc Asmodeus is a whore

Lucifer: Why is my human...trying to escape?

Lucifer: How to...convince a human to be normal?

Mammon: What does it mean if my human...Sleeps next to me?

Mammon: How to...sell a human?

Leviathan: Is my human...allowed to watch anime?

Leviathan: How to make friends

Leviathan: Can humans swim?

Satan: What if my human...Explodes?

Satan again: Humans exploding

Satan a third time: Humans exploding and surviving.

Satan a fourth time: How to prevent your human from exploding

Asmodeus: will 2 humans get along?

Asmodeus: How to get 2 humans to fuck

Beelzebub: human

Beelzebub: human diet

Beelzebub: human cheeseburger

Beelzebub: cheeseburgers not made out of humans

Beelzebub: do humans eat each other?

Beelzebub: Cheeseburgers near me

Belphegor: what the fuck is a human

Belphegor, again: why do humans bleed so much?

Belphegor, two minutes later: How to delete my search history

Diavolo: Is chocolate safe for humans?

Diavolo: Do humans fight

Diavolo: does my human like me

Diavolo: do humans like pickles

Diavolo: why do humans like pickles

Diavolo: how to convince humans not to eat pickles

Diavolo: why did I get a human

Barbatos: Why do I get out of bed in the morning?

Barbatos: Hangover cures

Barbatos: How to get a human to leave you alone

Barbatos: how to get a human to come back

(Barbatos only liked MC because he liked watching them, now he loves them.)

Solomon: How did they forget I am human

Luke: Do humans like candy?

Simeon: Google

Simeon, already on Google: Google

Simeon: auagiwjqgauabdj

Luke, typing for Simeon: do humans like being hugged

Thirteen: Fastest way to kill a human (but relax it's for a school project)

Thirteen: How to kill Solomon

Thirteen: How to torture a human

Mephistopeles: Quickest way to get a human to stop existing?

Mephistopeles: Quickest way to get a fallen angel to stop existing

Mephistopeles: Cute babies sleeping

Raphael: Why is the human human?

Michael: Why do people like humans?

Luke, again: is it okay to see a human as family?

Also for people who think that Disney didn't make a good princess film with a good female role! I'm going to add a movie from 2015 which is pretty recent and did an amazing job at what they wanted to do with Snow white... Strange magic!!

Marianne had her heart broken by a man who she thought she could love but betrayed her and took her naivety and she rightfully became angry about it when people (her dad,sister, other fairies. Etc.) Tried to forcer her to take him back she stood up in what she believed it

When Dawn was kidnapped she went after her and tried to save her from the bog king and discovered that hey maybe not all people will hurt me if I let them in and they fell in love and the bog king knew she loved him when she didn't fall under the effects of the love potion!

Also, Dawn who loves to easily discovers that who she is looking for is right in front of her (Sunny her best friend) despite him being an elf and her a fairy they love each other.

And at the end, the cheater gets what he deserves

Rant incoming

I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.

All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.

Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!

Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.

Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.

We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?

We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?

We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.

Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.

Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.

And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.

Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?

Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.

Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."

Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.

Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.

The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.

Dan and Phil Games is back.

New Hunger Games movie.

David Tennant is the Doctor again.

The official Merlin twitter account is active.