Kians-blog2 - * 𝓫𝓸𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓵...

seojvns‌:

just trust me, kian whispers, and seojun does. he trusts him too deeply, willing to follow him anywhere without questioning a thing. he doesn’t voice it, but he’s nervous. even though he knows there’s no one around, he can’t help but glance as kian fiddles with the lock, his heart racing with anticipation and the fear that maybe they will get caught. doing something that felt wrong wasn’t a strong suit of his, but going along with things was. as soon as he was being ushered in first, seojun took the lead, his footsteps cautious as he entered. “you want to get some last minute studying in before we go?” seojun questions in a whisper, a brow raising as he kept his eyes on kian. “yeah, um, it’s kind of the point of a library, to let anyone come whenever they want,” he teases, a slight smile still on his lips.

“yeah,” he breathes in response, and he gets it. the thrill of being there after hours. there’s something ominous about the darkness though, something that leaves seojun unsettled. he watches, but he doesn’t touch anything - mostly because he’s afraid to make too much noise, on the off chance there’s a campus security guard somewhere nearby. it’s unlikely, but his worries get the best of him. he stares, instead of helping, as kian pushes two tables together. as soon as he’s telling jun to come, he obeys, climbing on top as well and lays beside him. “is there something you’ve always wanted to do? or somewhere you’ve wanted to see?” he questions, holding up the flashlight to shine on the book so they can plan their getaway. 

“mhm.” he hums in reply, scooting closer to seojun so the other boy can see the pages as well. “but, since this is a short trip, we won’t be able to do all the things i want. maybe some other time though.” he smiles. “like over the summer or something.” he suggests, flipping the page. his eyes scan the words and look over the pictures, but nothing is really standing out to him. he begins moving his feet back and forth, knocking against seojun’s in impatience, but his face doesn’t read the same. “god, it’s so quiet in here.” he comments. “and, yeah, i do realize how ironic that is considering we’re in a library.” he laughs lightly. he sees a few places close by that catch his eye so he mentally makes note of them before turning the page again. it’s probably rude to do so without asking his roommate because he’s more than likely looking as well, but kian’s selfishness extends to all things. “what about you?” he asks suddenly, flipping around so he’s laying on his stomach. he lets the book close, keeping his place with a finger, as he rests his chin on seojun’s chest. “something you wanna do? somewhere you wanna go?”

MINJI: and what about it ?? MINJI: pls don’t say shit like that it would be like fucking my own bro and i don’t swing that way MINJI: he’s my best friend, not that it matters to you

KIAN: don’t be mean especially when i’m nothin but nice to u KIAN: oh ya? how come u don’t come hang at our dorm with us then? KIAN: seems like the makings of a threesome to me  KIAN: ofc it matters to me! any friend of junnies is a friend of mine 😇

SEOJUN: isn’t that a good thing?? SEOJUN: if you stop replying i’ll know to come bring you a pillow and a blanket 😊 SEOJUN: encourage?? bad behavior?? i’d never SEOJUN: i do what i can!! SEOJUN: oh :( okay :(  SEOJUN: i’m a GREAT study partner, i’ll have you know!! not distracting at all SEOJUN: maybe we can do something fun after you’re done though! 💕

KIAN: no its college junnie we’re suppose to be livin it up KIAN: there u go again bein too nice to me KIAN: don’t frown..... its not like i don’t want you to..... KIAN: i’m sure you are but i won’t wanna study if ur around KIAN: like what? ☺☺☺ KIAN: i mean either way i’d love to as long as ur not busy

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ seojun. ❜

moonsus‌:

“this song is for… my boyfriend. the light of my life. he brightens every gloomy, rainy day of my life with just his smile - and gives me near sunburns when he talks, but it’s okay - i like it,” he stated over dramatically on the small stage of the bar he had begged kian to go with him to. he was leaning past tipsy and much closer to drunk, now. that was clear by how loud he was being, the mic practically unnecessary for the volume of his voice as he spent the next minute proclaiming his love until they force-started the music. he took on singing the very cheesy song ‘i chose right’ from the musical baby. he personally felt like the words perfectly represented his own feelings in their relationship, so much so that his heart felt full of admiration for kian by the end of the song. once it was over, he eagerly made his way off the stage and back over to kian, cupping the boy’s face in his hands and pulling him into a kiss. “okay, all of that is out of the way. i will not be that gross for the rest of the night. i swear. it’s all out of my system.” which sounded like a lie, but for the time being he was attempting to stay true to his word. “are you having fun?” it was followed with moonsu reaching up to tap kian’s nose, letting out a laugh as he did. that was all he really cared about, at the end of the day, and he made it obvious that it was. as long as kian was having a good time, moonsu was, too. he let kian completely dictate his emotions without even considering that it could ever be a bad thing to give him so much control. // @kians

most people would be embarrassed about the situation going down with their significant other, he figures. but not kian. he relishes in the attention and something sort of blooms in his chest at the admiration dripping from moonsu’s words. placing an elbow on the table, he props his chin up on his hand, and smiles at his boyfriend the whole time. he never once takes his eyes off of him. man, he’s really going to hate it when he has to let this one go. “what if i want you to be gross though?” he pouts, grabbing the hand that taps his nose and holding it with a certain fondness in his eyes. he hates to be his biggest fan but, damn, he’s really gotten good at all of this. he barely has to try. “i always have fun when i’m with you.” he states, his smile broadening. and, for once, something that comes out of his mouth isn’t a lie. he really does have fun with moonsu because the boy gives him everything he wants. the only downside to playing up this whole persona is that when they come to bars together, kian can’t just whip out his fake i.d. and get a drink because he’s suppose to be a nice boy who doesn’t do things like that; he’s suppose to play by the book. “it’s kinda loud in here though.” he admits. annoying, is more like it. he hates being around drunk people when he can’t get shitfaced himself. god, he’d love a beer right now. “maybe we could—” he trails off, chewing on his bottom lip, “go somewhere a little more private? quiet?”

                                     and behind the mask of m a t u r i t y                                                        that you wear,                                     a pair of eyes belonging to a ( CHILD )                                          stares back at you in the mirror.

                                                 you are not a warrior,                                                           MY LOVE,                                                  you are merely a boy.

seojvns‌:

as soon as kian wipes at his eyes, jun’s heart races with concern. “i… i wasn’t waiting, i just couldn’t sleep,” a lie to make himself seem less pathetic, but he and kian both know that wasn’t the truth. there wasn’t even a point in lying about it. “but i’m glad you’re home,” he adds, biting his lower lip as he watches kian’s movements from across the room. everything he does - each expression, each movement, jun watches intently. he knows something’s wrong almost immediately by his demeanour. “what happened?” he added, his voice softening, anxious that something bad happened to him. it was strange that jun felt so fiercely protective over kian, given that he was probably one of the last people who needed protecting. 

“you don’t seem fine,” he says in response, frowning at kian. and as soon as jun feels his hand caressing his cheek he can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears. his eyes remained on kian’s as he leaned into the touch. “it’s not even that late,” he protests, but he doesn’t even know what time it is. the only thing on his mind is how he wants to spend any time he can with kian. as soon as he pressed the button on his phone, jun’s eyes glance down at the screen, him noticing the crack immediately. “kian… what happened to your phone?” he asks, feeling a stronger sense of seriousness in his concern now, which is apparent in his tone. 

he follows kian, as loyal as ever, watching him as he removes his jacket and shoes, a frown still etched upon his expression. his worry for kian sometimes seemed unjustified, until moments like this. and then he’s pulled into a tight hug, which jun returns without a second thought, one hand around his waist with the other on the back of his neck as he holds kian against him. “don’t say things like that…” he mumbles in response, his words whinier than intended. “of course i wouldn’t, i care about you… so much…” and even that was an understatement. “who broke your heart? your phone?” he pulls away now to look at kian. 

despite the fact that jun’s not a confrontational person, he feels a sense of anger he’s unaccustomed to. the fact that someone hurt kian… it made him want to hit something. or someone. he places a hand on kian’s cheek, keeping close to him. “there’s nothing special about me,” he says with a sheepish laugh and a shake of his head, “but you,” he sighs, “there’s nothing about you that isn’t special.” and he’s never meant anything as much as he means that. “what do you need?” he asks, because he’s willing to give kian anything he wants.

he never really understood the whole “it’s like taking candy from a baby” quote until he met seojun. and now he gets it completely. it’s just so easy to get the boy exactly where he wants him that kian barely has to put in any work at this point. he falls into his trap every single time and he means it when he says that he’s lucky to have him. the other is so bad at hiding his emotions, too which kian eats up. he loves seeing each one fleeting across his face as kian’s appearance finally catches his eye and the concern grows deeper. he wants to be the center of seojun’s world, wants to be able to call him while he’s on a date or out with his closest friends, and have the boy drop everything he’s doing just to come to kian’s rescue. but he quickly shoves those thoughts to the back of his mind. it’s a little twisted, but he gets off on things like that. and how embarrassing would it be if he got hard in the middle of pretending to be heartbroken? he isn’t sure how he would explain that one away.

the feeling of seojun hugging him back just as tightly and assuring him that he cares about him so much causes kian to smile. but the boy pulls back so quickly that he almost doesn’t have time to slip back into his persona. almost. “just some dumb boy.” he replies, sniffling. “or maybe i’m the dumb boy for falling for his tricks.” he mumbles, looking down at his feet. that’s when he notices that their carpet truly is disgusting. though he doubts it’s from either one of them. the university has probably never cleaned it and now it’s forever tainted with bodily fluids, food, and god knows what else. a hand on his cheek pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up, melting into the touch easily. “please.” he huffs out a humorless, sad laugh. “there’s nothing special about me. i can’t do anything right.” he frowns. “but you’re perfect, junnie. you’re always here for me even when i don’t deserve it. i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

probably be infinitely more bored, for one. “can i—” he pauses, averting his eyes to the floor again, “can i sleep in your bed tonight?” he asks quietly as if he’s shy about bringing it up. he tries to force a blush onto his cheeks, but there are some things that even he can’t do. “it’s okay if you say no. i know you may have someone coming over or something.” he mumbles, toeing at the dirty carpet. “i just, i don’t wanna be alone. i know it’s a little pathetic but ... it’s just been a rough night.” he sighs, chewing on his bottom lip. he pretends like he’s too embarrassed to look at his roommate and turns his attention towards his phone. he picks it up from the tv stand and presses a few of the buttons to see if it still works then tucks it away into his back pocket.

“do we have any ice cream?” he asks, finally looking at seojun again. “i always hear girls talking about how that seems to help them through heartbreaks so maybe i should give it a shot.” he smiles, keeping it closed and small; distant even. “have you ever had your heart broken, junnie?” he asks, curiously. and he actually is genuinely curious. even if only because he could use it against him in the future. he lets his words trail off as he pads his way to his room in search of something to change into. their space is small so it isn’t hard for them to communicate with each other even when they’re in different rooms. grabbing the bottom of his shirt, he tugs it over his head and tosses it to the floor. he undresses slowly to not only give off an exhausted state, but also just in case seojun follows him. “i couldn’t imagine anyone breaking your heart. you’re too sweet.” he says as he undoes the button of his jeans.

seojvns‌:

“so am i,” he says, taken aback by kian saying so. jun probably made it obvious that he was thankful that he ended up with him daily with the little gestures; making food for them both without being asked, keeping their dorm tidy on a regular basis, waiting up for kian to come home even on nights where he didn’t. seojun finds comfort in his assurance, a soft smile on his lips. “i can’t help it either,” he admits, “and i don’t think it’s childish.” it’s ironic, for seojun to be assuring kian now, but that seemed to happen way more often than kian ever needed - not that jun was aware. he gives his hand a gentle squeeze in return. he wants to believe what kian’s saying, but it’s difficult. the insecurities that had a tendency to seep in were constantly nagging at the back of his mind, giving him little reminders of why kian was wrong. but it’s nice to hear. “you’re too nice to me,” he can feel his cheeks warm again, and he’s thankful for the darkness now. “i don’t know how true any of that is, but if you think so, maybe someone else will too,” he says, his words laced with hope. maybe if he wasn’t such a romantic at heart, he wouldn’t put such an importance on love - that’d probably be the healthier option, but he’s a hopeless romantic in every sense. he lets out a playful huff in protest when kian pokes at his side, but he’s still smiling too. “maybe i’ll try to take more risks,” he muses, but if he actually will… it’s difficult to say. “is it?” he scrunches his nose again at kian calling it very nineties. he wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or not. “oh,” he says, his voice soft. “i get that,” he adds, “i think i probably play it safe most of the time too.” and now he’s the one squeezing kian’s hand to reassure, not wanting him to feel embarrassed. 

he doesn’t know how their conversations always turn out like this, with seojun being the one to somehow reassure kian of everything, but it happens every single time. by now, he believes that it’s because his roommate just has a lot of insecurities and some kind of need to take care of people out of the fact that he can’t really take care of himself. and not in the traditional sense, but in the more emotional, mental sense. he should really make more of an effort to get to the bottom of that. “trust me, remember?” he quirks a brow. “it’s always hard for us to see ourselves the way others do. but, i promise, you’re someone worth having. though, i’m not so sure anyone is worth having you.” he states. “i don’t think it counts as being nice if it’s true. i’m just being honest.” he smiles, leaning over to press his lips to seojun’s cheek. “hey, you’re taking a risk with me right now.” he points out, waving his hand slightly in the air. “kinda?” he laughs. “hooking up in a bathroom at a party seemed to be a staple in nineties movies.” he explains. “or was it the early two thousands? i can’t remember.” he shrugs. “but do you want to?” he asks. “play it safe all the time? i mean, these are our college years. we’re suppose to be doing all the things that are somewhat crazy and risky. it’s not like anyone’s here to stop us.”