Thorin Please, Use Your Eyes Man

My husband is a genius

Bilbo and Thorin having a fight:

Bilbo; I see there is still a dragon under this mountain, Thorin Oakenshield

Thorin:

Bilbo Baggins may be Barrel rider

But I am simply ‘Barrel survivor’

I can not stress that enough that when I was a wee lad I was almost killed by a barrel. I have beef with barrels. Man fuck barrels dude

The shire is warm for most of ther year and when it’s cold is doesn’t drop far below seven degrees

Erebor is fucking cold. Temps drop to around minus fifteen.

Bilbo is not build for these conditions and nearly gets frost bite in the tips of his ears and his toes and Thorin panics and makes him little fur lined leather boots that are soft and flexible but still provide enough warmth to stop his toes falling off.

Bilbo also has to wear a hat and ties his hair back as it grows so he doesn’t realize how much his hair has grown by spring and when he takes the hat off Thorin is gawking

Belladonna: 🥹🥰👍🏻👍🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💐🌺🌸🌹🌷

Bungo:

I JUST SAW SUCH A GREAT IDEA FOR A FIC

SO ahem

Bilbo's parents are still alive and everything is fine until he decides to go on an adventure with the dwarves. And from Belladonna and Bungo's point of view, their Bilbo, their child who wanted nothing but solitude and peace, sends them a letter in which he says that HE IS NOW MARRIED TO A DWARF - THE KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN and invites them to visit🤗

If I could dissuade you at all I would also like to say this happened an hour later:

“Do not run with that stick, our great aunt poked her eye out running with a stick you know”

She dropped the stick.. and walked directly, eyeball first, into a branch. The whole half of her face went pink and swollen and my mum was not pleased.

I only looked away for half a second. I hadn’t even let go of her hand.

Took my niece on a walk through the forest and she tugged on my sleeve and told me two things:

“I’m hungry” (we just ate three scones and had hot drinks)

“We need to go back so I can get my books” (I wouldn’t let her take seven books on a hike.)

My sister has raised a hobbit.

I have also convinced her that I am 48, I tried to tell her I’m 250 but she looked at me and said I wasn’t that old. (I’m 23)

Finished it! Now I just have paper work, some soldering and acid etching to do

Phew! Glad it’s the holidays. Can’t wait to go back home to see my family to get some of that clean mountain air. I’m so over living in a city, the ocean makes the weather so unpredictable.

I just remembered there’s a shop keeper back home who’s waiting for some products from me.. and I still haven’t delivered. Maybe I do stay in the city 💀

These results are thus far disheartening, my dear followers please don’t let the elves win, lend me your votes

I will never understand why everyone including myself keeps drawing Bilbo looking so ancient.

That is a twink.. or a mouse.. the jury is still out on that.

Dude you ever not watch a movie for a while and miss a characters voice?

I saw a video of a guy doing a really good Thorin impression and I was like “man I miss that cutie”