A Plan To End The Search...
A plan to end the search...
...for bigfoot. It occurred to me, last night, that people still enjoy the cryptic known as bigfoot, I mean shit they still make shows about searching for the bastard(s). Have the researchers gotten close to finding the evidence to support the claims that a wild monkey man is lurching around the mountains and forests of the world? I'm pretty sure they've got mold of the footprints sasquatch leaves behind, they've got samples of hair that were left behind after he stepped on the wrong branch or on some rust nails near a house. The evidence has been analyzed and most of it has come back as a relative of apes after this people keep on searching, wondering what it could be big foot could still be...huh? They just told you, hair from some animal that was left behind in the rocky mountains (which I'm quite sure is devoid of apes or monkeys) is of ape origin and people still question whether it's real or not.
The television shows are annoying me with footage that capture Bigfoot in the distance and yet nobody dares to chase after it like an idiot American would do. So I figured hey, find the craziest, strongest, bravest man alive. Convince him to stalk Bigfoot with a camera strapped to his head and send him off into the forest and tell him to only return with evidence of Bigfoot. You obviously need to put him in an area where big foot has been spotted dozens of times before. Send him there and tell him to live off the lands and try to find proof that big foot is real. Maybe a carcass will do? If Bigfoot is so aloof with his sightings then it'd be a change of pace instead of rubbernecking at him in the distance and instead to charge at it with a few friends. If it attacks then try to let it chase you into town or near a road in plan daylight where you know for certain it is busy.
But until the day where we can send crazed men into the forests to hunt the legend down with only their wits and Teddy Roosevelt-like rage we'll have to accept the fact that yes he's probably real and yes there will be shows and movies and books about him. But I rather just settle the whole thing now and just hunt for it. I also didn't really think this whole think out, this could be an incredibly dumb idea and I'll be viewed as a jackass. I don't care really, I'm bored as hell.
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