Aftercare

I’ve organized some of the things I need from aftercare (in person or long distance) into 4 components, and thought it could be helpful for others too! I’ve put some examples for each, but it will of course look different for everyone.

1. Physical Care/Needs -

Wiping away tears

Helping up from floor

Getting a warm towel

Soothing bruises

Getting a glass of water

2. Physical Comfort/Affection -

Gentle kisses and hugs

Holding eachother tight

Breathing with eachother

Cuddling and/or napping together

Brushing fingers through hair

3. Scene Validation -

“That was so fun/sexy”

“That felt so good when you ____”

“You were such a good ____ for me”

“I love the bruises/marks you gave me”

“Thank you for (carrying out some fantasy) with me”

4. Human Affirmations -

“I love you; I care about you”

“I’m so grateful to have you in my life”

“I always have a great time when I’m with you”

“You’re a wonderful/kind/etc person”

Mentioning a non-sexual part of your relationship that you like, or reiterating that you value eachother as more than just a sub/dom(me)

I think that this can work whether you have a deeper connection or a more casual play partner! I always feel best when all of these components are covered during aftercare.

These things can obv be done in person, and I think it’s also really important to give this kind of care when you’re long distance, even if it’s just through words after sexting… for example-

“When we were done, I would help you up and wipe away your tears, bring you a warm towel and make sure you’re ok. Then I’d love to cuddle, with your head on my chest, and give you forehead kisses while telling you how good you made me feel and how wonderful of a person I think you are.”

Thanks for reading! Be safe everyone 💕💕

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