Your Honor I Fuck Wit U Heavy

gonna throw strip poker with the boys tonight ;)

getting strip searched by the TSA gave her the ick. guess she don’t like seeing my cavities

got so much motion they call it a sickness

same spectrum, different wavelength

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

doing the laundry doing the dishes vacuuming the carpet doing the laundry doing the dishes vacuuming the carpet doing the laundry doing the dishes vacuuming the carpet doing the laundry doing the dishes vacuuming the carpet

okay

please say nice things about me in therapy 🥺

if those japanese cartoons are right, getting taken prisoner by elves is one of gods greatest gifts

airport pro tip: store your IEDs towards the top of your luggage so that they can easily accessed during checkpoints and promptly deployed mid-flight.

as it turns out i was the thot experiment