Latest Posts by jesseroxursox - Page 6

THE SIGNS AS FAMILY MEMBERS

Aries is the baby of the family. They can’t stop screaming, can’t stop crying, and they never sleep. When they’re upset, everyone must be upset too. Nevertheless they’re very charming and always get their way with people.

Taurus is your aunt in her mid-thirties with no kids. She has flings sometimes, but she prefers the lack of emotional attachment. She looks like she’s still in her twenties and works from home since cooking and gardening are her true loves.

Gemini is your seven year old nephew. He comes home from school and he’s so excited to share his newfound knowledge with his family. He wears glasses and has a chipped tooth, because he’s always pulling dumb stunts. He gets straight A’s on his report card, but his teacher always complains about him talking too much.

Cancer is the newly-wed, pregnant mom. She’s hormonal, she’s flushed, and she’s stressed, but she’s so full of life. She’s got a lot going on and she manages to keep it together. She loves children and baking, and she gives the best advice.

Leo is your 14-year old cousin. He’s caught between worlds. On one side he’s selfish and arrogant and a brat, and on the other he’s kind and protective. He wears a mask of confidence while the world beneath him is changing.

Virgo is the tired, single mother of many. Her patience is worn thin and she swears she’s cleaned this bathroom more than three times today. Before being wound so tightly, she was a writer living a fantasy life, but she preferred independence.

Libra is your 19 year old cousin you see at your family reunion and you ask her for makeup advice. She’s nice on the surface but with a biting sarcasm to boot. She’s never dated anyone for very long, she can’t seem to make up her mind.

Scorpio is your 21 year old brother of your cousin. He’s got dark eyes and he’s trying to get into med school despite him nearly flunking freshman year. You ask him about his friends, and he says he doesn’t have many. He’s too busy chasing down his dreams to try to make up for the past.

Sagittarius is your family friend that says he hasn’t seen you since you were a wee child. He’s brought you some obscure artifact from his latest travels which you’re pretty sure he obtained illegally. He later proceeds to get drunk and offer you marijuana.

Capricorn is your stern grandmother. She’s raised many kids under her iron hand. She’s tough but fair. She’ll always have cookies when you come over but she’ll reprimand you for having too many. When she was younger, she was a successful, self-made businesswoman. 

Aquarius is your 30 year old brother. He never had much motivation, but earns a decent living from being a writer and blogger. He’s the funniest guy in your family, if anyone could ever understand his jokes. He keeps trying to talk to you about how 9/11 was an inside job, and you try to explain memes to him.

Pisces is your 18 year old sister. She just transferred colleges and decided she needed a change. She’s constantly cutting and dyeing her hair in attempts to find her real self. She drinks tons of tea and is vegan, but you’re pretty sure she still eats Chicken Nuggets.

Miss prada is a national treasure. This is literally my permanent mood.

I really enjoyed this lol

What is your snapchat boo?

xo.emilio I’m pretty ratchet so beware lol

..•°*°•.¸.•´¯ like/reblog if you get it ..•°*°•.¸.•´¯

Him: You ready? ;)

Me: Yeah :)

Him: *sticks the tip in*

Me:

_____ like _____, damn is my _____ ___? It's a _______, play with my _____ day! _____ this, _____ that, _____ cakin! ______ ride ____ like she a ________! LMFAO

Pussy…girls…pussy gay…holiday…pussy…pussy….pussy…pussy…pussy…dick…Jamaican

when niggas say, “you gotta work for this dick”

who’s going to recreate this scene with me irl?

When your card doesn't get picked in Cards Against Humanity

The smallest incubus saves the tall ones from tiny scary creatures

Sodom belongs to @isharton 

THE SIGNS AS PEOPLE ON THE SUBWAY

Aries: The performer that goes around singing even though it's 5 am and people just want to sleep

Taurus: The dude with coffee in his beard

Gemini: The little kid that points at everything and asks what it means

Cancer: Pissed off soccer mom screaming at her kids

Leo: The 'Stand clear of the closing doors, please' guy

Virgo: The business lady who sits with her legs crossed and has her nose pointed in the air

Libra: The person who gives their seat up to a kid or older person

Scorpio: The guy sitting in the corner that people are scared to sit next to

Sagittarius: The overly excited foreigner that tries to talk to everyone and ask questions

Capricorn: The dude that insists on holding onto the pole even though all the seats are empty

Aquarius: Scarfbeard man-bun dude in a flannel sweater reading the newspaper

Pisces: The person sleeping in their seat even though the subway is going really fast

Squad goals

looks like your a Britney fan. If so that makes you my spirit animal. There's pretty much only two things that have gotten me through life. Dick and Britney Spears.

Thank you, but I believe you mean Spearit Animal.

And yes, I begin and end each day as a disciple of Britney and kneel at the altar of Dick.

Spears 3:16

“For James & Lynn so loved the world, that They gave Their begotten Daughter, that whosoever believes in Her shall not perish, but be granted eternal LYFE, bitch.”

On this day, the day of Her birth, I hope all of my followers will accept Her into their hearts and remember the reason for the Season. 👸

Merry Britmas, y’all!

#gAyMEN

Do you think of yourself as more of a top or a bottom?

I would say I don’t consider myself as much as I consider who I’m with. I’m happy to take on either role to satisfy my partner.

As a bottom, I would say I’m more obedient and like to feel used…

but as a top, I become aggressive and want to feel in control.

Overall, I would say my preferred position comes in phases but for video purposes, it’s typically easier to be submissive since most guys don’t want their face on camera.

Another factor is relationship status. When I’m single, I’m more vers bottom and historically with boyfriends, I’ve been vers top.

If you’re a top who’s never bottomed or a bottom who’s never topped, I encourage you to give the other position a try! You may discover parts of your sexuality you never realized exist!

2016

-Flatter stomach

-Fatter ass

-Longer hair

-Bushier pubes

-Bigger arms

-Thicker thighs

-All the tattoos

Or

Fuck!

RANDOM HEADERS

credit to kooksmaine 愛

An ye harm none, do what ye will.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!