How To Remove Bloodstains From Clothes

So, update on the whole villain arc thing.

I can talk to other animals, so far cats, raccoons, possums, rats and dogs.

And it is surprisingly easy to get them to steal for you. Literally just taught a flock of pigeons how to pick pocket someone.

I just saw Riddler and Scarecrow making a deal with a bunch of 9th graders that if they all made A’s on there tests today, they would teach them how to hack into the GCPD

Update: GUESS WHAT I LEARNED TODAY (even though I’m in 11th grade)

My phone just closed the 8 safari tabs I had open completely unprompted and I’m going to SCREAM

no cops at pride just danny phantom and the fenton anti transphobe stick

Oh, oh, you meant--! Haha, you meant that I should become acquainted with the lab members! Oh, see, there's--*stands in front of door, from behind which banging and groaning occurs*--there's been a funny little misunderstanding!

When you said to "make friends", I--*elbows the door to get the things behind it to quiet down*--I may have, aha, um... Misconstrued your words.

GUESS WHO GOT A (SORT OF) JOB BITCHES

So I’ve recently started volunteering at my local aviary shelter, doing the more maintenance jobs, like cleaning, washing food bowls and toys, changing light bulbs from time to time, fixing broken appliances, re teaching the owner how to use TikTok, things like that. I also help set up our stands and hand out flyers, and get attention to any of our fundraisers, which we sometimes do because other shelters need help. AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO TELL ME, THAT THE PENGUIN COMES IN REGULARLY . So I’m helping clean up for the night, and get asked “hey, can you stay with me a few more hours. Mya (one of our parrots) is sick, and I could use the extra help with whatever might come up, as she’s supposed to be under constant watch.” I get it, I really do, and I was worried about our sweet Mya just as much as they were, and so I agreed. The lights in the front started flickering, so I go up there to check on it/clean up. BUT GUESS WHO THE FUCK I SAW. THE ARCTIC BIRD HIMSELF, AGAIN. I’m confused thinking “are we getting robbed” when he smiles, waves and asks “not surprised you work here! I assume your helping keep an eye on Mya? Where is she?” I’m still a little baffled, so I just point to the back and he thanks me, meanwhile dialup noises are playing in my head as I try to figure out what the FUCK is goin on. So I go into the back and find him helping watch after Mya.

It’s been two hours. We’ve been sitting here talking about birds the whole time, and at some point the riddler showed up to “pick up his boyfriend” and we’ve started talking about the genetic relationship between vultures and storks

✨that’s the point✨ but in the meantime I get free shit from gcpd cars and get stabbed once a week (Gotham central hospital night staff know me by name) and he gets to NOT deal with Batman. Seriously how has your grandpa NOT gotten the hell beaten out of him by lord emo yet?

Hey, @gothamradiokid could you tell you grandpa to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. I got woken up, at three in the GOD DAMN MORNING because MY NEIGHBOR FUCKED UP, AND HE SENT SOMEONE TO DEAL WITH IT. Tell him to do that at midday or some shit, some of us are sheltering highly reactive new mama dogs, and need at least 30 minutes of sleep.

conversation I had the blessing of hearing

Penguin: I’m sorry I don’t take advice from a madman.

Hatter: we’ll I don’t take criticism from whores!

Penguin: >:O

Riddler: says the whore.

Hatter: >:0

Scarecrow: takes one to know one.

Riddler: >:0

Joker: the slut energy in this room is immaculate.

Dadwald Headcanons

Especially with all the scenes with little Martin recently, I cannot stop thinking about what an amazing Dad™ Oswald Cobblepot would be (a Murder Dad, I admit, but still). 

Like he hates all children generally but he would love his own Child so much. His mother was loopy but always made sure he was loved and cared for and always stood by him and if you think for a second that Oswald Cobblepot would not do that in turn for his own Child you are fucking wrong.

Oswald Cobblepot is 100% the scary villain who turns to fluff at his Baby’s crayon stick figures. (Basically this ProZD Vine) He would never miss a parent-teacher conference (even though the teacher is dumb and he threatens to murder them once his child isn’t listening).

On “Bring your child to work day” Oswald Cobblepot sits at the head of the table with his baby on his lap and he glares down at all the Crime Lords as a reminder of the long ass “don’t you dare swear in front of my baby” speech he gave them beforehand. Everyone thinks he’s ridiculous because everyone knows these meetings usually talk about murder or something equally gruesome but they obey because if you so much as utter “fuck” in front of Oswald Cobblepot’s Child you will be the murder victim instead.

Oswald Cobblepot would 100% think his child is the most innocent thing to ever lived and try to protect them from the darkness in the world which confuses everyone because he also casually teaches his Baby how to defend themselves with unconventional (read: not necessarily morally, or legally, correct) means. 

Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby stories about Grandma Gertrude and dressing up in full apron + chef hat to teach them the Family Recipes.

Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby that they are the most beautiful/handsome, the most clever, and that he knows they will grow up to be a great man/woman.

Oswald Cobblepot singing his child to sleep after a nightmare.

Oswald Cobblepot dressing up his Son in tiny suits and getting up early to do his Daughter’s hair before school.

Oswald Cobblepot making all of his lackeys buy the cookies from his Child’s bake sale for school because it’s a competition between the kids and goddamn it his Baby is going to WIN that 500+ sales lava lamp. 

Oswald Cobblepot standing in Toys R Us trying to find the best toy for his three year old. He can’t decide between the three he’s narrowed it down to so he buys them all. His child buys him a “World’s #1 Dad” mug and Oswald Cobblepot tears up (even though it’s not really the most original gift).

Oswald Cobblepot being a Shotgun Dad™. He tries to spy on his Teenager’s first date by himself but got caught and his baby got mad so now he has an entire loyal Spy Squad employed to secretly protect them.

Oswald Cobblepot would be The Best Dad and I will fight you if you say otherwise.

Only in Gotham does Bane escort you and your friends to school when the bus can’t be bothered to show up