Especially with all the scenes with little Martin recently, I cannot stop thinking about what an amazing Dad™ Oswald Cobblepot would be (a Murder Dad, I admit, but still).
Like he hates all children generally but he would love his own Child so much. His mother was loopy but always made sure he was loved and cared for and always stood by him and if you think for a second that Oswald Cobblepot would not do that in turn for his own Child you are fucking wrong.
Oswald Cobblepot is 100% the scary villain who turns to fluff at his Baby’s crayon stick figures. (Basically this ProZD Vine) He would never miss a parent-teacher conference (even though the teacher is dumb and he threatens to murder them once his child isn’t listening).
On “Bring your child to work day” Oswald Cobblepot sits at the head of the table with his baby on his lap and he glares down at all the Crime Lords as a reminder of the long ass “don’t you dare swear in front of my baby” speech he gave them beforehand. Everyone thinks he’s ridiculous because everyone knows these meetings usually talk about murder or something equally gruesome but they obey because if you so much as utter “fuck” in front of Oswald Cobblepot’s Child you will be the murder victim instead.
Oswald Cobblepot would 100% think his child is the most innocent thing to ever lived and try to protect them from the darkness in the world which confuses everyone because he also casually teaches his Baby how to defend themselves with unconventional (read: not necessarily morally, or legally, correct) means.
Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby stories about Grandma Gertrude and dressing up in full apron + chef hat to teach them the Family Recipes.
Oswald Cobblepot telling his Baby that they are the most beautiful/handsome, the most clever, and that he knows they will grow up to be a great man/woman.
Oswald Cobblepot singing his child to sleep after a nightmare.
Oswald Cobblepot dressing up his Son in tiny suits and getting up early to do his Daughter’s hair before school.
Oswald Cobblepot making all of his lackeys buy the cookies from his Child’s bake sale for school because it’s a competition between the kids and goddamn it his Baby is going to WIN that 500+ sales lava lamp.
Oswald Cobblepot standing in Toys R Us trying to find the best toy for his three year old. He can’t decide between the three he’s narrowed it down to so he buys them all. His child buys him a “World’s #1 Dad” mug and Oswald Cobblepot tears up (even though it’s not really the most original gift).
Oswald Cobblepot being a Shotgun Dad™. He tries to spy on his Teenager’s first date by himself but got caught and his baby got mad so now he has an entire loyal Spy Squad employed to secretly protect them.
Oswald Cobblepot would be The Best Dad and I will fight you if you say otherwise.
no cops at pride just danny phantom and the fenton anti transphobe stick
@fuckthegcpd hey you ever notice how police brutality protests usually end in police brutality? Or am I delusional
So I play lots of video games, and I ENJOY lots of video games. Here’s the problem.
I’m a shit shot. I cannot, for the LIFE of me, aim a virtual gun. Now I still have options. Games that don’t require guns, Minecraft and other creative games, etc.
but once in a while, I like to play games like TF2. But I don’t wanna drag my team down with my bad aim. So what do I do? Healers. I try to be a healer of the team. And can I just say, for someone who just threw a tantrum because the didn’t have the common sense to MOVE OUT THD WAY WHEN YOUR GETTING SHOT AT, y’all be talking mad shit to your healers. NEWS FLASH, we can let you die. We’re nog bound to heal you. We determine whether your dumb ass live or dies. Respect your fucking healers
My boss asked me why Red Hood stopped by today, and I didn’t know how to explain without basically asking to be arrested, so Red Hood, if you get a card saying “I’m sorry for your loss” don’t question it there’s an edible arrangements gift card in there
Don’t even THINK about flirting with me if your not willing to lie to the cops and break me out of jail. Not bail, like some wimp. BREAK.
This could save lives so I thought I’d share!
YO I WAS ON MY WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL, and right outside the school a fucking FRESHMAN was BEATING THE SHIT out of a very pervert teacher from another school, because some kids from metropolis came for something Idk. That’s not even the best part. A teacher from OUR school walked by STARED AT THE TEACHER ON THE GROUND, AND SAID “Damn, it really be like that.” AND JUST, KEPT WALKING
Cottagecore goth?
That's an interesting aesthetic!
The bird that's your profile pic does seem to exactly fit that desc, neat! :P
I'm curious now, mind sharing a cool pic you have of that aesthetic?
💖💖💖
It’s basically spooky forest vibes! And the bird in my profile pic is called a stellar’s jay, and like blue jays are corvids!
Hey the next time you wanna commit a crime and then talk about it, don’t. Rats have connected words relating to homicide to food, and will not only tell all their friends about it, but the random fucker that can UNDERSTAND THEM
Look I’m not a snitch, but I know about way more than I’d like to. Pigeons are chatterbox’s, stray cats will spill for a decent bowl of food and a warm bed, and raccoons will sell you out for a literal corn chip.