“People Do Not Hurt Us, Our Hopes From Them Hurt Us.”

It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us.

— Lemony Snicket

what to do when everything’s a mess

Wash your hair. Don’t worry about all those articles online about the best haircare products of 2019 and whatnot, get in, wash it like you usually do, get out. Leave it to air dry, it’s less work for you.

Brush your teeth. Even if you brushed them this morning and are probably going to brush it tonight, do it anyway. Especially if it’s exam time, all that tea or coffee you’re most likely downing (props to you if you only study with water) probably makes them feel kind of gross.

I know most of these lists tell you to run a bath, but let’s face it, for those of you who even have a bath in the first place, the thought of filling that tub and sitting there in complete silence for a couple hours seems like a trek. And ironically exhausting. So instead, just brush your hair, take a nap (set a nice soothing alarm) and once you’ve gotten out of bed, wash your face or at least splash cold water on your face.

CLEAN clean clean clean CLEAN. Easier said than done, but at least start by clearing one messy component of your area; it could be your floor, your desk or your bed. You don’t need to clean and re-organise your entire room marie condo-style for you to actually have a reason to take the time to clean in the first place. A little goes a long way, and you don’t ALWAYS need to do the hard yards ya know.

I would say read a book, but sometimes your brain is melting or buzzing so it can’t really focus on anything lengthy. So instead, find someone reciting a poem online, and just listen to it. I recommend Jeremy Irons and his voicing of tons of T.S Eliot poetry, or Allen Ginsberg reciting his own poetry (Howl is a classic).

If you’re one of those people who drowns their sorrows by listening to music, don’t listen to music!! Don’t reinforce your pain!! So to that I say, listen to a podcast. If the classic podcast genre of true crime is a little too stressful and you’ve already cried twice today, listen to interviews with actors, screenwriters and directors. It can be really refreshing to listen to people you already enjoy the content of talk about their work. I recommend Awards Chatter and Happy Sad Confused.

Stop staring at screens! Just physically sit outside for a bit, you don’t need to go for a jog or do a general workout, just…sit. People-watch, try and memorise the exact scene in front of you, from the mis-en-scene to all the colours and sounds and the way the sunlight feels on your eyelashes. Write it down if you want to, you could even denote a single notebook to your little outdoor descriptions. Or just write on a napkin. To each their own.

Have you eaten today? And I mean something hearty, something that isn’t primarily made out of air and salt. Something that falls under the umbrella of snack does not count; meal is more like it. If not, eat. Preparing food might feel exhausting, but so’s going a relatively long amount of time without something nutritionally substantial.

If you’re feeling emotionally heavily, get out a notebook or even just a scrap of paper, a pen and cry until your eyes are as blurry as can be. With tears down your cheeks, scribble out how you’re feeling. Don’t bother with how neat or messy it is, whether the sentences even stay on the lines, it’s not about being aesthetic. In fact, it’s about being as messy as possible. Let all of it out, and let is act as a physical manifestation of what’s going on in your head. Don’t fight it or deny it, relieve yourself by both constructing and understanding yourself. 

I don't really need a reason to feel sad..

I don't really need a reason to feel happy..

I don't really need a person to feel romantic about..

I don't really need to have fought to be angry...

I don't really need an exam to feel anxious...

No, it's all on its own, all by itself.

The world is kinder than it seems from the view of your abusive relationships.

I know it doesn't seem like it. It seems scary, and stressful, and unfair, and terrifying beyond belief. Maybe you were fed lies about what the world is like - abusers can go above and beyond to keep you depended on them, to keep you afraid. Maybe you were hurt, badly, by malice or by negligence of the masses.

But remember that the world is also large. And even if your family, school, work or hometown is cruel, there's kindness elsewhere. There are people who will listen. There are people who will believe and who will do their best to help.

You might not be ready to trust the world, to give some kindness to it, and that okay. Understandable, even. But.. I want you to remember that kindness and happiness do exist, and you'll sure as hell find yours.

I'm happy that now, you only trouble me at night...seldom in the day....There would be a day when u would seldom trouble me at night and not at all in the day...

Never leave your hand...always be with yourself..u r the only person who is going to stay with you till the end..So, be your own shield, your own supporter and your own lover.

“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily.”

– Thomas Szasz

I feel very small. I don't understand. I have so much courage, fire, energy, for many things, yet I get so hurt, so wounded by small things.

— Anaïs Nin, Nearer the Moon: The Previously Unpublished Unexpurgated Diary, 1937-1939

Never ever talk to someone out of loneliness. You will eventually regret it.

“Have the courage to live the way you want to.”

— Unknown