Every Single Person You Know Or Who Knows You Has A Different Perception Of You In Their Head, So No

Ever been in one of those situations where everyone around you knows their dream or passion or what they want to do with their lives except you? Yeah, I've been there and at most times when I was asked what I wanted to be, at 13 I had said journalist because because I liked writing. I liked writing children's stories but saying that just sounded cringe so I opted for something formal like journalism. Then at 15, I had said being an accountant because my teacher had suggested so since I was good at it. And so when I got to uni I registered for accounting. Then one year in I decided to change my major to information systems since it seemed more bearable than accounting. Fast forward to 2021 I no longer liked or enjoyed Information systems. Call it burnout or depression but continuing that path got so heavy to the point where my body even pained.

And so after graduation I had decided to take a "gap year". That's what I told my parents it was but deep down I had no idea what I was doing anymore or what I was gonna do. So for the rest of 2022 I would just chill at home and read books - fiction and nonfiction alike. Something to pass time until one day I started asking myself questions as to what I am even doing here on Earth.

Which led to searching on purpose, passions, dreams, spirituality etc. And somewhere along the journey I might have found my passion. Something that excites me, something I really enjoy learning about. And that something has to do with self growth, personal development, health & wellness. The more I learn about it, the more I wanna know. Would I say this is my dream? To be honest, I don't know but it's something I'm currently passionate about right now and I thought I could share what I find interesting about it and how it has helped me get out of a rut. So yeah, that's kinda the point of this blog. #purpose #passion #lost #health&wellness #firstpost

Something I heard this week:

It is not the thing we want that's going to bring us happiness. After we get the thing and we are no longer wanting- that's what brings us happiness. "The No Longer Wanting of it."

So once you no longer want something you are content and in that contentness there is happiness. 🌻

It's been a minute. So last week was my 24th birthday and I was doing some reflecting and I thought to share three lessons I've come to learn during the past year:

Lesson 1: Having a someone to talk to.

I have come to realise how it is so important to have someone to communicate with especially when you are going through a difficult time. This could be a friend, relative, mentor. Like just someone you can trust. Yes they may be able to offer you a listening ear which may lighten your burden but they can also help you shift your perspective on how you might be viewing a particular situation. Together you might be able to come up with different solutions to dealing with the situation in a way that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Doing this not only helps you through the tough times but it also helps deepen the relationship you have with that person.

Sometimes people do want to help and you might not know how they feel but you deciding to tell them also means you trust them. And there is no better feeling that being trusted by someone.

Lesson 2: Letting people go with honesty

There are times in your friendships where things are just stagnant and you're only keeping in touch because you once attended the same school or university together. Or maybe one of you moved to a different area and you no longer meet as frequently and as time goes on the communication and connection fizzles out. You know you were really great friends but things just aren't the same and in some way you are outgrowing each other.

I've come to realise that in such situations it is better to let that person go. Of course, this is not about ghosting them and hoping they get the message but by also being truthful with them and telling them how you really feel. For me the honest truth was letting them know that friendship has reached it's end, the journey was beautiful and I'll forever cherish the beautiful memories we shared together but stagnancy isn't helping anyone.

This might feel very uncomfortable but it's necessary not only for you but for the other person too. By letting each other go, you are making space for more aligned friendships to come through.

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

One of my favourite pastimes is cloud gazing.

I like to think of thoughts as clouds. Some clouds are fleeting, they hardly in a static position for long. Some clouds are small while others are large. Other times those small-sized clouds bunch up together to form a large cloud. And those large clouds bunch up together to form a super cloud which eventually brings down a thunderstorm. ⛈️

Some clouds are so blended in with the sky that it looks like they are not there at all. And then there are times when there are no clouds at all. Where do they even go? Probably wherever they came from.💨

Like how clouds are sometimes visitors to the clear blue sky, our thoughts are visitors to our clear minds. Sometimes those thoughts come through and they mean nothing at all & we easily let them go.

But other times they mean so much that they summon more & more thoughts, to the point where they bring about a storm of anger and despair. 😡

Just like how you make peace with the storm that's brought about by the clouds in the sky, just breathe & let your thoughts be rather than emotionally react to them. The sooner you let be, they sooner they leave. 🍃

What is it like to experience freedom?

- Freedom is like watching a crow fly overhead with its wings open wide

It's like being underwater and soaking in all that watery silence

Freedom is like being immersed in a good book in a good book that you've forgotten about your existence.

Freedoms is like being so in flow in your craft or skill that you've forgotten you're alive.

Freedom feels like being relieved off a heavy task that you've been avoiding for quite some time.

Freedom is like a flower finally blooming after weeks of hibernation

It's like hitting that high note of a song

Freedom feels like releasing that scream that you've been suppressing the whole day

Freedom is being awed by the beauty of nature

Freedom is letting go off a situation you've been grasping for dear life

Freedom feels like taking that last exhale before dozing off

Freedom is finally removing off that mask that you've been wearing all day just to please everyone

Freedom feels like dancing and letting loose

Freedom is peace of mind

Recently, I've been spending a lot time in nature. It begins with me just sitting there feeling the grass with the soles of my feet to observing the swaying of tree leaves caused by the wind. And the longer I just sit there and observe, the more I feel at peace. And the more I feel at home. 🏠🛖🪹

And everytime I feel like that, the more I want to experience more and more of that feeling. Which had me thinking about the different things and experiences I can bring and cultivate into my life to bring more of that. It doesn't have to be anything big, it could be something as simple as bird watching🦅 or listening to that favourite song that feels like a hug. 🤗

Because at the end of the day we all want to feel at home, regardless of whether we are at home or not. Because truth be told for some a home maybe their art🎨, a person, a book📖, the feel of the wind while riding a bike etc. _So if you can, try to make time to cultivate that feeling - because it's really one of those things that matter in life._ 🏵️☘️

People are not against you, they are for themselves.

Sometimes we feel like certain people always think or want the worst for us and we couldn't be more wrong. Every person you know or have come across has a different version of you in their head and based on that, it makes perfect sense that they are going to project onto you the things they assume about you. The same way you project onto people the illusion you have of them in your head.

So the point is don't take it personally. Deep down people don't even know you unless they have actually taken the time to really get to know you and those aren't a lot of people.

The best thing you can do is be true to yourself - be true to your values, your interests, dreams and the kind of person you want to be. Because you cannot please both others and yourself. One side is bound to get betrayed and that's okay.

So let go of trying to make other people understand because they might not even be interested in understanding you. They are still fixated on the version of you they curated in their heads. And they are probably not ready to understand you. Maybe one day they will but in the meantime focus on the vision that is you!

How comforting it is to be standing in your kitchen chopping vegetables for dinner

Oh, how peaceful it is to be in the warm ambience of your kitchen while chopping onions as the rice is boiling

The feeling of contentness as you are slicing up the carrots for a salad

As the flavourful smell of chicken stew wafts up in the air

The smile etching on your face as you hear the sound of the oven alarm chiming, alerting you that the roast beetroot is ready

Listening to the sound of the kettle boiling as you prepare to dish up for supper.

Ah! The joys of cooking a meal on a Sunday evening.

It's not the time passing that you should be worried about but what you choose to do with that time and who you choose to be.