Jason: Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones-

Jason: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with your dad?

Zain: YOU WHAT?

Jason: fuck, so it wasn’t that

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”

Salim: Crushes are the worst.

Jason: Right. Whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid.

Salim: You're always acting stupid.

Jason: Yeah... don't think about that too hard.

Salim: [takes a deep breath] Today is gonna be a good day

Salim: [deep breath] There’s going to be no bullshit

Salim: [opens the door to see Jason standing there]

Jason: My shoes are on the roof again

Salim: [closes the door]

Eric: What the fuck is Jason even doing?

Nick: HIS BEST!

So I played among us until four am last night, and instead of... you know... playing the game? I went on several rants about the meaning of happiness and how it ties to the human psyche.

Salim: Why the hell is there blood everywhere?

Vampire!Jason: Well, you see, it's simple color theory-

Jason: why do the vampires keep trying to kill us?

Salim: maybe they’re homophobic 

Jason: we’re not gay, Salim

Salim: we're not???

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered

Rachel: I spy with my little eye something that starts with 's'.

Nick: *looks at Jason and Salim*

Nick: Is it 'sexual tension'?