I Think I Prefer To Call Manifesting Shifting. Because Manifesting To Me Implies 'trying', 'changing'

Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried; from "A Letter To Love"

II, I

꒷︶ ̇ ̟ ෆ ‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿ ෆ ̟ ̇ ︶꒷

summary. opening night emotions with megumi

wordcount. 1k

pairing(s). megumi x fem!reader

tag(s). drama and theater, tension, admiration, somewhat angsty, reader plays a wife

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“Brutus, my lord!” You call, stumbling into view.

Megumi, who’s attention snaps to you, looks confused, furrowed brows with his lips barely apart. “Portia! Why are you awake?” The countenance he holds is no longer confusion but mounds of worry. He ushers toward you and his hands find your shoulders to lead you away but your legs do not move to comply.

“You shouldn’t be up! At least, not so early, especially in your condition.” He reasons.

“Neither should you! Last night you awoke and paced around our room like a mad-man. Yet, when I ask what is the matter you look at me with disdain.” You exclaim. “Even so, I continued to question you but you impatiently stamped your foot and refused to answer me clearly! You’d even requested I leave you and though I may have respected your wishes, my heart aches with unease. Confide in me, Brutus! What troubles you?”

Each of your lines are delivered in heaps of breath, desperation enveloping the tone. The garments you wore flow and drift dramatically to match and the laced frills at the end of your wafer-thin gown wisp over the strained wood floors of the theater stage. Your thoughts, however, are set and steady. You know and could never forget, even in a moment as dire as this, the next set of words you’ve studied.

His hands fall from your shoulders and are tucked into his crossed arms, “I’m not well in health. That is all.”

“The Brutus I know is wise. If he were sick he would go by the means necessary to overcome the virus.” It feels strange having to adjust how you address Megumi on stage. Where the spotlight shines on you, he’s Lord Brutus, a husband with questionable morals.

“Why so I do. Go to bed, my dear.” On stage, his deep black hair is no longer spiked but carefully raked into place. As he moves, strands become loose and slump over his forehead. You now notice, with the glaring white lights pointed to yourself, Megumi, and the other props accompanying you on center stage, how well-pampered his hair is. Perhaps the makeup artists backstage made a few spontaneous decisions opening night. It fits him. Not that many things didn’t.

“No, my Brutus.You have some sickness within your mind. Which, by the right of my place within your life I ought to know of; and upon my knees I charm you by my once commended beauty,” You take his hand and kneel before him, “Of all your vows of love, a great vow which did wed us–that you open up to me, your self, your half. Why are you heavy?” 

His face shifts once more, now to one of sympathy. There is no pity written across his features nor is there anger in his eyes. Instead, he feels guilty for letting you fall to the floor for the sake of some conspiracy, “Please, do not kneel, dear Portia.” His hands come to cup your face.

“I would not need to if you were kind, Brutus. Within the bond of marriage, tell me, Brutus, should I know no secrets that appertain to you? Am I some pet you keep with you at meals, comfort in your bed, and talk to you sometimes? If I am no more to you, I’m your harlot, not wife.” Tears pool at your waterline and spill over down your cheek. Megumi’s thumb swipes the tears away away as quickly as they fall. He kneels to meet your eyes but doesn’t dare to remove his hands from your cheeks.

“You are my true and honorable wife, as dear to me as are the ruby liquids that visit my sad heart.” 

“If this were true, then should I know this secret!” Your own hands now find his face and you passionately hold his jaw, “Tell me your worries, I will not disclose them. I have made strong proof of my reliability, giving myself a voluntary wound here, in the thigh. How can I bear that with patience, and not my husband's secrets?” The only noises that come while you both speak are the echoes of your own voices. Despite many people gathered in the abyss of the audience, not one person dared even to breath loudly during your time with Megumi.

“O ye gods, let me be worthy of this noble wife!” A knock sounds and Megumi’s breath hitches, “Someone knocks. Portia, leave for a moment. The secrets of my heart. All my worries I will admit to thee, all the cause of my sad brows. Leave me with haste.” 

You give a final look into the depth of his iris before gathering yourself and scattering behind the curtain, out of view from the eyes of spectators. The crew awaiting you quietly compliment you, “I’ll never get tired of watching you and Megumi act together. The both of you are outstanding!” 

“Right? They’re amazing. You guys make the relationship between your characters look real. I swear I saw some people in their seats wiping their eyes.” 

“Thanks. It means alot.” You turn to watch Megumi finish out the scene. He’s now accompanied by a few other actors and they talk and interact as practiced. Even with so much else going on, quick changes, costume and makeup retouches, and actors going over everything they’ve studied a final time behind stage, it doesn’t bring your attention off of your fictional husband and how well he sells his character. He’s made it his own, stamped the character in everyone’s minds that it’d feel sinful to have another man play conspirator Brutus. 

Maybe it was your ego growing two sizes too big but you were skeptical all the emotion he put out during your time together had been a mere fallacy. His eyes held boundless emotion and when he held your face while you held his, those cobalt colored iris’ held a spark of sincerity you’d never seen.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

a/n: i absolutely love portia and brutus’ dramatic relationship in julius caesar. I reread it a shit ton

Feedback and Reblogs are Appreciated!

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

but like i don’t wanna be spending all that money on the cafeteria food

no cuz why is eating something homemade on campus so embarrassing

EDWARD ART ON BECOMING THE VERSION OF HIMSELF HE DESIRES TO BE:

How exactly have I been implementing this? Whenever I have an unlovely thought or I am experiencing something I do not wish, I reassure myself that there is a Version of me that is thinking a lovelier thought and is experiencing a lovelier experience. Then I simply assume that I am that Version of myself. I have to be because I am Aware and it is ME. There is no other. I do not have to ask anyone’s permission because it is MINE. Then I receive a sense of peace. All that is truly necessary for me to do is to become AWARE of Being that Version. Of course there has to be more testing done but I have already experienced success with this. These successes will eventually pile on and I will have a strong conviction that this works (I already know it works, but speaking from this specific understanding) and I will not have to doubt myself anymore. I assume I AM, essentially myself, just a different Version and I do not interfere with How it will come about. I let it be physically and I become comfortable however it comes about. This, personally, even though I understand Neville’s work, is a new journey for me. There is much more to write on this but I think this is enough for now. I hope this gave you more understanding and less confusion.

something that helped me tremendously haves to be this one quote from edward art

“I remember my only goal is to BECOME the one I want to be IN IMAGINATION ONLY. So I think about something I want to be, anything. Then I assume I AM that IN IMAGINATION”

like it’s something that i feel like most people dont really grasp. like when blogs always told me to not worry about the 3d, just change the 4d, etc… etc. i didn’t quite understand it. I thought that i was supposed to change the “4D” to change the 3D and my only goal was to change the 4d in hopes of changing the 3d. like i dont know how to describe it that well but i was trying to change my thoughts to change the 3D, completely disregarding my imagination and forgetting that- like it was basically just me thinking my goal is to change the 3d.

who I AM in imagination is what I WILL BE cause the 3D only reflects WHO I AM IN IMAGINATION.

for an example, if i was out here constantly being re-aware of the person who always skipped school causing them to repeat classes and grades in imagination, that is who i will be with a sprinkle of acceptance that it is “true”

i didnt realize that. i never realized and understood that if i change my imagination im bound to see a change in the 3D. but the 3d shouldn’t be my goal or anyones goal because it would only cause confusion. my only goal should only be to become who desire to be in imagination and accept it as my true reality. not the change the 3d. i really understand why people like me skipped over this because if we are dealing with some horrible circumstances or whatnot we would only think that we “have to” change so and so to change the 3d. placing unnecessary power onto the 3d. not being aware that what we are in imagination, what memories we have in imagination is the thing that prevails. not the 3d. not our thoughts. but simply who we are in imagination. and we have the freedom to change it. we have the freedom to be whoever we want to be in imagination.

become in imagination.

something that also helped me a lot is it observe my thoughts, state and the 3D. this would really help others see that all of this is happening within the world of scared creation, your imagination.

also explore the beauty of the law! the law is really beautiful that i really cant put it into worlds. imagine you are giving yourself what you want in imagination, you are fully aware that your 3d is nothing but your imagination and that imagination is the true reality, imagine that you start fulfilling everything you want inside your imagination and you start feeling fulfilled.

btw this isnt proof-read… mb yall!! i was writing this a bit sleepy!!!!

im obsessed with the idea of being stuck in a time loop with izuku. at first you have no idea that both of you are in this time loop in the first place but as you begin to go mad trying to change the outcome of this life, he begins to notice you. small odd details that no one wouldve notice had it been any NORMAL person. At one point he just straight up asks if your in this time loop with him. YES finally someone to talk to without the repeat dialouge from days old past, which was actually just a week ago. you begin to grow closer, fleeting touches here and there. Soon you start to date, afterall he is the only person in the universe who understands what your going through. When he dies on a mission you simply kill yourself to reset the timeline and start fresh again, clean slate. With the never ending possibilities of the infinite universe, you can do anything. Have sex while skydiving, have sex anywhere and everywhere without worrying about the repercusions. he always wants to be the hero for this world, every. single. time. but you know better than that, you know it would be a waste to be a hero every reset. you become the biggest supervillian fighting against your lover, unbeknownst to all the other heroes and students. right at the climax of the fight, you and deku standing face to face, everyone watching. you kiss him, hard. you fall to the ground viciously attacking each other with your lips. he reaches up and grabs your breast, soothing your hard nipples. all onlookers are shocked, they cannot understand why this is happening but katsuki is DEF sporting a hard boner seeing these mortal enimes go at it.

anyways ill probably expand on this idea in a more coherent way soon cuz i cannot stop thinking about this, also wrote this in english and health class and its a wonder no one saw me. sorry for my bad spelling im kinda fucking dumb

random things to manifest.. bcz you can

every time you take out gum everyone doesn’t start swarming over you literally asking for gum every 2 seconds

special talent of being able to tell people’s (and yourself) undertones

always finding clothes in your size

meeting your soulmate

lucky girl syndrome

hair never gets greasy

nails never break..

being good at every single game you play (even when it’s your first time)

fast reflexes

finding money out on the street every single day

lips never get crusty (and i stand by this)

always being right at everything

a pretty voice huhu

being able to sleep fast (need)

always entering the void state

period cramps don’t hurt like hell

every book you read has your desired ending

being able to read real fast

photographic memory

chores take a blink of an eye to do (for you)

amazing at everything

YOU DON’T SWEAT.

you never smell

always think before you speak (needdd)

subliminals work instantly

and overall manifest instantly

🎀💖Y/N IS THAT YOU ? 🎀💖

-Kill your old self & create a better version who is free from negativity

🎀the old me who relied on others for validation is gone forever . The old me with self destructive habits and negative thoughts will never be seen again

💖i love myself way too much , I'm immune to self hatred or self doubts . Being insecure is impossible for me

🎀im not a victim of circumstances or 3d . I control them , not the other way around

💖 I prioritize myself . I put myself always .

🎀Im independent and don't depend on anyone or anything .

💖The old me is gone now ..and I will never go back to the toxic and unhealthy cycle of negativity

🎀i don't dwell on negativity

💖I don't spiral coz the circumstances or the 3d anymore

.🎀Jennie kim , wonyoung , Alexa , Zendaya , Jia , IU , nayeon ?????? Who are they ??? I'm the only IT girl .

💖Im always chosen no matter what . I'm loved and precious .

🎀Im healed from my past experiences .

💖Im capable of everything and anything

.🎀Im a girls girl , I'm a boss in a man's world ( credits to destiny Rogers >3 )

💖im so hot , I'm so cool

🎀im a complete new person with a perfect self concept. I know what I want , I'm the girl / guy who has it all .

💖My subconscious has been reprogrammed

🎀i only entertain favorable thoughts

💖im consistent with persisting.

🎀i don't get easily influenced by others and don't allow anything or anyone to get to me

💖im not miserable or jealous, why would I be ?? I'm living my dream life and have everything that I want or need .

🎀No one can block my manifestations

💖My mental health is perfect just like me >33

🎀I don't settle for less .

💖im the best of the best , I'm Y /N

🎀 being the best at what I do , that's sounding on brand ( credits to typagirl )

💖im completely renewed as a person . I let go of my old self

౨ৎ ⁺ . Hello this is Dolly 🎀🧁🐬 .ᐟ

…you have landed into dollies interlude! 🎀⭐️

Hiii im Dolly i usually post law of assumption + manifesting and songs recommendations but usually i just post about things i love!!

⭐️ im 4teen

⭐️ im black

⭐️ african american / soulaan

⭐️ ace and omni!!

ive been shifting for about 4-5 years now and im only been into loa for about a couple months!!🎀

Likes: Sanrio,plushies,roblox,blankets,fashion,bratz, monster high,barbie,my little pony,tiny alien mofu mofu,korillakuma,newjeans,kara,wonder girls,girls’ generation,tokyo revengers,magical girls anime,hime gyaru,cloud e sky,art,pink and gold,sweet treats,sweet smelling lotion and soap and kpop and jpop and i love to read books from when i was younger,i like manga,i love hair bows,fizzy cherry soda,im black,i love licca-chan dolls,powerpuff girls,lalalopsy,my scene,strawberry shortcake and pinkcalious, hello kitty,mocha,charmmy kitty,honey cute,my melody and sweet piano are my favorite sanrio characters!! 🎀🧁

Masterlist!! 🎀🧁

Law of Assumption! ⭐️

◜ 𓈒 ݁ ₊ it’s your own journey !!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ never let 3rd parties shake you

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ dissatisfied with the old?? stop repeating it!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ have fun with manifesting!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ what does it mean 2 actually ignore the 3D?

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ break the cycle

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ everything is in your favor!!

| 𓈒 ݁ ₊ rationalizing loa (boo)

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Dolly nd Honey’s Collab !! 🎀🍯

| 𓈒 ݁₊ live in imagination !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ do it for yourself!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re the only power !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Limitless star !!⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ feel your feelings !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it’s already yours !

| 𓈒 ݁₊ yes or..? YES!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ ignoring the 3d

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you are god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you have ur sp

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Build-A-Boyfriend!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its really so easy!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want

| 𓈒 ݁₊ why pretend to be anything less?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you can leave whenever you want!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ wdym theres no movement?!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ it feels good to just give it to yourself

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re always in control

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re not bound to one life

Affirmations!! ⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ what competition?

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its my scene

| 𓈒 ݁₊ princess syndrome

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting vaunt

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I,Candy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ I am the god of my reality

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink glitter fantasy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re everything he’s just ken

| 𓈒 ݁₊ i am a god

| 𓈒 ݁₊ you’re my chemical hype boy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ specific person affs

| 𓈒 ݁₊ if you wanna pretty

| 𓈒 ݁₊ imagination life is your creation!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ its a dolls world

| 𓈒 ݁₊ pink sugar

| 𓈒 ݁₊ the world is my playground!!

| 𓈒 ݁₊ sharpay evans !!

Shifting Realities!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ stop leaving room for failure

| 𓈒 ݁₊ unique drs you can shift to

| 𓈒 ݁₊ shifting made easy

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ angel express 999 pt1

| 𓈒 ݁₊ my dr’s pt2

Misc !!🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some fun things 2 manifest bc ur limitless

| 𓈒 ݁₊ fun way 2 live in the end

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some things you can manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ some super cute things 2 manifest

| 𓈒 ݁₊ “illogical” things im gonna manifest pt1

Doll Talks ! 🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ manifesting rant

The Advice Column!🫧

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Advice coloum Issue No.1 🎀⭐️

| 𓈒 ݁₊ Doll Tips ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

The Glow up Diaries!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - ⭐️

Summer Sweetie ! 🎀☀️

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - ⭐️

Dollies MP3!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Dollies pink mp3.

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ GLITTERATION! 💫

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ songs from my playlist!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ SLUMBER PARTY

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Song RECS!!

Dolls confessional!

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ coming soon ! - 💫

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