Don’t Make Me Choose!

eggs are most delicious when least touched by fire (so poached, sunny side up, etc declining in quality to over easy, hard boiled). this is because fire cleanses the egg of sin (primary source of flavor). this is also why the objectively most delicious egg is soft boiled (hardened purified exterior traps the delicious sin inside the soft gooey interior), and why scrambled eggs are morally ambiguous

Thank you for this, the typos really establish the tone well. Like no don’t fix those they’re part of the art

bravely fighting off the irge to post whicle sick with the flu cause I KNOWWWW Im just gonna say stupid shit BUT ☝️what if Suck lolll I mean what if sick-me says it better. What then

As a vegetarian, “natural unmeat” is the best thing to call meat substitutes.

Like, I know why it happens – the meat packing plant is just slapping the exact same label on everything, regardless of whether it's processed or not – but when I see a package of raw, unsmoked, unprocessed meat proudly announcing that it contains "All Natural Ingredients", every time I'm tempted to ask where they keep the unnatural meat. I feel like they're holding out on us here.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful

Couldn’t get this idea out of my head after making the last edit to this sound so now it’s in your heads too!!

GUESS WHO DIDN'T GET THE JOB

ME

BECUASE THE JOB SUCKED BALLS AND THEY WANTED TO PAY ME LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE WORKING OUTSIDE SIX DAYS A WEEK!!!!!!

SO I GOT THE JOB AND SAID NO

I'm on that tgirl egirl grindset

Logically I shouldn't post this because it's incoherent and I'm hyped on caffeine but I have the ability to say words on the internet and I think it's funny to use this power to say that employers SUCK ASS

did you drink water today? If not it's coming

My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.

We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.

We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.

We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.

We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.

I’ve been having the same problem, and I’d suggest other flavors of toothpaste/mouthwash. I have a Watermelon mouthwash that actually isn’t unpleasant to use (for me at least)

I have trouble taking care of my teeth because everything that involves doing that is a sensory nightmare. I decide to do some research to see if there's anything I can do about this. The results?

"How to make your autistic child brush their teeth"

"Autistic Children and Sensory issues relating to tooth brushing"

"How to get your little shit to brush his fucking teeth"

Like, yeah Google, thanks, that really helps. And like, even if I was a child, some of the advice seemed... unhelpful. Like, doing a dance and singing a song while brushing your teeth? Even for a kid, I don't think that would help distract from a sensory experience as intense as brushing your teeth. Like, the extremely intense and unpleasant flavor, the intense feeling of the brush against your teeth scraping across it, even mouthwash has such an intense and disgusting flavor that I have difficulty keeping it in my mouth for more than a few seconds. I wish there was SOMETHING that could be done.

Dead Boy Detectives Watch Party today, by @/moonkailan on Twitter. You don't need to be on Twitter, it can be in any social media and "If you can't join, just KEEP WATCHING. EVERY VIEW COUNTS THIS WEEK!"

Got em