So Freaking Good.

Take Tumblr off from Bella swam now

*stumbles out of the haunted house covered in hickies*

I JUST saw that and i need to tell a history for everyone. Idk whos gonna see this, maybe even he will see this..

Begin

So, my history starts in 2022, i was still studying and a lot of weird and shitty stuff happened in 2021, so 2022 was the year of hope, the year that everything would change and i was sooo hopeful!

I was finally getting along with my colleagues and - again - everything was getting better...after my "dad"s death all i wanted was to fill the whole he left. And then he came, the new English teacher.

My English teacher H, was very young, like 22y at the time and you can judge me but at the start I really had a crush on him yk just teenager shit, it's the tendency. He was very sweet with me and everyone n he NEVER exceeded anything with me. H was mysterious, the only teacher who was still wearing a mask and this made EVERYONE wonder "hmm how'd he looks like?"

The Life change decision

I need to aware you guys, at the time i just lost my dad I was in deep grief, my teacher reminded so much of my dad, he was vivid. Alive. And again, i wanted to fill the whole of his absence.

When I asked myself, "how'd he look like.." I made a plan. He was (is) an artist and my friend used to draw a lot too (me too but I was toooo shy), so my friend and i decided: What if my friend created an account to post his draws, and give it to my teacher, he'd follow and we'd know how he looked like. WORST DECISION. but we did it. And IT WORKED!

Me being a good curious person, faked being sociable... *Yeah yeah ik it's ridiculously weird*. I started talking to him and we got close *but no too much* and then...my very first panic attack of the year } Making it clear at this point I didn't follow him on Instagram, i just knew his @. Back to the panic attack: it happened in his class, and he noticed and came to help me, Oh god what a bad decision.

He was very caring and did everything he could to help getting out of this, i allowed him to see my soul, and how it was broken and i didn't want to but my own decisions slipped through my fingers. And then happened what I thought it would happen. I got attached to him with all my little young heart.

Well he gave his Instagram to me (which I already had...) And we started talking for hours n hours, but I made this stupid to:

Ask myself

Well at some point we need stop and ask yourselfs: WE are talking or it's just ME? And yes it was just me talking.

I didn't know anything about his life, only he didn't have a father, he had a cat, and that he was still studying and liked Pixel Art.

So I stopped talking to him. The fun thing is that in school he never greeted me. Never. But all the other students he did. } In this time our last conversation was about his crush, that he started dating.

Ok now a jump of time, months like that, months and months, and he refuse to talk to me, and i was so so hurt because I like him, I looked at him as a friend. And i meant nothing to him at all. I felt betrayed.

I finally decided to send a message to him asking what happened, we talked, and he said it was a big misunderstanding of both of us (lie) and we started to talk again. It lasted a week. Till I joked about his friend being hot in a very SARCASTIC WAY. and he got a little angry.

After that I told him I wanted try to be a good friend and help him too, and he said straight up to me, "no, I won't tell anything about how I feel or anything like that" and i asked him why and he simply replayed "because no"

Idk I think I was just so full of rage and i snapped and said to myself "ok, I'm over with this" and never talked to him again.

End

So now I tell you guys: it wasn't worth it. Trying to save a relationship (in any kind) that it's over - sometimes - it's not the best you can do, sometimes it's better letting go, even if the person means a lot to you.

He never talked to me again and we probably won't ever again, but I learned with him that it is ok to let go and it is ok to have temporary people in your life.

Sometimes people we don't expect come so we can learn something.

If you came all the way down here and read everything here's his draws account, it's beautiful. H.

Satellite Sky

So Joe has been feeding us so well with his exit interviews, but I love love love…

That while he was like “yes, Eddie had a crush on Chrissy. It made sense to play it that way.”

He made sure to note that… that wasn’t what the concert was about? Like we all clutch our chests and cry at. “Chrissy, this is for you.”

We’re human, how can we not?

Joe was very clear to say though that the concert wasn’t about how Eddie felt about her.

It was about honoring and avenging her. A recognition of who she was, who she truly was, and what her life meant.

It about Chrissy.

Not about him, and his feelings for her. Just her.

And I think that’s a big thing to note, especially how it separates him from Jason?

Jason is doing all he is because he lost Chrissy. Because he lost Chrissy, or Chrissy as he knew her… and it’s clear he didn’t actually know her that well at all.

His vigilante crusade isn’t about bringing her killer to justice so much as it is a way for him to cope with his own anger and grief. It’s less about her, and more about him. Her, strictly in relation to him.

It sucks that she was killed to further both their character arcs, but. At least with Eddie, while he feels guilt and shame over her death… he mourns her in a less selfish way?

Her memory and his experience with her makes him want to be better.

Meanwhile, Jason’s perception of Chrissy… the one she presented, who was hiding so much pain and trauma behind her smile and who felt like she couldn’t come to him about it…

He’d say she inspired him. To do what, exactly? Threaten to torture Eddie’s bandmates for information? Pursue vigilante justice, and interfere with a police investigation? Terrorize Black children?

If Chrissy was around to hear that she “inspired” him to do all that, that he did it in her name… she’d be horrified and disgusted.

I don’t think she’d feel that way about Eddie’s solo or sacrifice tbh. People can be upset about the death, but not only was he protecting Dustin… he was luring those bats away from the gate. Cause if they got out in Hawkins, started spreading and multiplying? That’d have been no bueno.

People say Eddie’s death was stupid and all about his ego and pride. It wasn’t. Go back and watch. He lost Chrissy. There was a lot he didn’t get to say to her.

He didn’t lose Dustin. He made sure to make sure the kid knew what he meant to him.

Eddie didn’t die to satisfy his own ego, or even to save just Dustin. He did it, like Dustin told Wayne… for the entire town. A town that thought the worst of him.

TLDR Chrissy Cunningham inspired Eddie Munson to be a big damn hero. She inspired Jason to be a colossal douchebag.

Eddie did have feelings for her, yes, but he mourned her as a person and the loss of that person.

Jason mourned her as his “perfect” girlfriend and mourned the loss of that “perfect” girlfriend.

Jason didn’t have any idea what was going on with her, and she felt like she couldn’t tell him.

Eddie noticed something was off right away, and rather than make her feel bad for feeling bad… he tried to make her not feel bad. He was a doofus.

He intentionally was a doofus with a girl he liked, just so she’d feel safer.

It wasn’t even so that she’d realize he meant her no harm, and that he wasn’t mean and scary.

He initially thought it was it, but when she asks him not to go? He pauses. Considers her.

Ok, so it’s not him, but something’s got her freaked. He doesn’t know what, but he can try to make her smile. So he does that.

While he does flirt, his intentions aren’t “I’mma put the moves on Chrissy” - they’re “this person seems very vulnerable and scared right now, even if it’s not about Me, I’m going to do what I can to make them less scared.”

Like how he looks after the little sheep. He sees someone scared, out of sorts, he wants to help them.

Make them feel safe, like everything is going to be ok.

Eddie Munson literally can’t help himself. He sees someone who is scared and feels anxious and out of sorts, and he swoops in to make them laugh and feel like things are going to be ok.

Like they’re safe.

The Golden Retriever energy is off the charts.

Again like I’m sure this man could be a talented musician professionally or a record store owner, but I could absolutely picture him as a social worker that specializes in working with kids.

Kids who maybe didn’t grow up with much money, who came from broken homes. Who struggle with anxiety. Turn to crime. Drugs. Like. He is… that would have been so perfect for him.

They’re angry and resentful at the world, scared and insecure. He would listen, not invalidate their experiences and emotions… try to help them. They’d expect some guy in a suit or a stereotypical youth pastor type (think a Jason Carver) and instead they get this Freak. Who doesn’t belittle them, or talk down or look down on them.

God, homeboy could have lived as he died… caring about the well-being of his fellow man.

Today i tried giving one of my friends my tumblr and he replied with "welcome to 2013".... i can't do this anymore–

So remarkable..

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Aesthetic cult: being a hater

I just finished watching dungeon meshi and that's far the funniest and cutiest thing I've ever seen ok. I love them being father/daughter 😭😭😭

do you?

#iwannabehersobad

ngnganhs

@stormyseaes 's archive <3