You Ever Look At Your Genetics And Go “how The Ever Living FUCK Did This Happen” Because I Am Directly

You ever look at your genetics and go “how the ever living FUCK did this happen” because I am directly descended from the strongest Old Ireland clan and the second strongest Scottish clan… ON OPPOSITE SIDES??? I’m double Celtic royalty-

I’m so stupidly tall, and then I’m also pretty sure I’m developing gigantism… I’m 5’11” STILL GROWING AND THEN THERES GIGANTISM?? I don’t wanna be like 8 feet tall bro- a normal house is already a lot and a custom built house would cost my kidney-

The only reason I look like I’m not starving is that extra mass isn’t body fat, no no no, that’s pure MUSCLE-

Ya know how most little kids are chihuahuas, because they don’t have strength for their rage? WELL I WAS A DAMNED TASMANIAN DEVIL BECAUSE I SOMEHOW KNEW A BUNCH OF WEAK POINTS AND FIGHTING TACTICS WITHOUT LEARNING???? Was I James Bond in a past life or some shit???

My molars are sharp…molars as in THE HERBIVORE TEETH. I’ve tried looking it up and didn’t get an answer, I EVEN ASKED MY DENTIST AND THEY COULDNT COME UP WITH A SURE FIRE ANSWER EITHER??

I have that weird mutation that makes it so I can consume other peoples blood without worry. How do I know this? One time my bestie scraped her elbow and when I was looking at it my autism brain made me automatically lick it- I was like “did- did I just eat your blood-??” And she was like “yeah- I think so-“ and we both proceeded to burst out laughing.

My favorite part of my fucked genetics: MY JOINTS! I simultaneously have joint pain and am hyper flexible- (my jaw can also unhinge without damage but ignoring that-) so sometimes I bend 2 degrees and my spine dissipates, other times I can CONTORT TO FIT INTO A FUCKING CLOTHING DRYER???? my bestie knows that and the fact that it’s my favorite hide and seek spot and we always cackle at people’s faces when they FINALLY find me- 😭

More Posts from Harkenizalone and Others

2 weeks ago

Just watched the Hatsune Miku movie in theaters, it was the most formative experience of my life. People in the theater were commenting and bantering with each other (me included). After it was over and people stood up, there was a Miku cosplayer who everyone was like “YEAAH” to, and someone had a Miku plushie and the experience was super wholesome and awesome. Thank You, to Miku and all the other people in the theater, for one of the most amazing and influential moments of my life.


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3 months ago

I have ADHD and inherited dysautonomia, I did not realize they were so similar until now

Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free


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11 months ago

I make my own cookies- since I can bake I just

I want da cookie

I’ll make da cookie

Cookie made

Cookie nom

harkenizalone - Harken/Sylvie
1 month ago

Eepy kibby (๑>◡<๑)

Atmospheric zen video of my cat trying not to fall asleep sitting up next to a window while it rains. Keeping this one to relax me on stressful days

1 month ago

IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH GRRR /pos

YOU GAVE HIM WITTWE KIBBY PAWS 😭😭😭😭😭

SCRUMPTIOUS, EVERY INCH OF THIS PIECE. *Nom*

I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT IM ACTUALLY GROWLING IRL 💀 I can’t contain myself

Trying to spell the sound I’m making: “Grrruuwaaaaaagghgggh”

I think that’s right-

Hairstyles For Long-haired Sebastian :3

Hairstyles for long-haired Sebastian :3


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2 months ago

I have this friend who I met in school a couple years back who always wears a fedora.

He’s fruity as hell (and openly gay)

And he’s the only person I know who can actually rock a fedora.

One day I asked him sorta as a joke “Do you just have, like, a whole dedicated collection of fedoras?” AND HE DOES

This isn’t just fedora all the time NO, He has AT LEAST 1 FEDORA FOR EVERY HOLIDAY (2 ST Patrick’s, at least 4 Christmas themed, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, Etc) AND HE CHANGES THE COLORS BASED ON SEASONS (more neutral tones in winter like grey and beige, Colorful ones in spring, earthy tones in fall, and it’s safe to assume he has some for summer too) HE HAS A FEDORA FOR EVERYTHING- 😭😭

But yeah, he’s really chill, and everyone now knows/realized that he has 40+ fedoras 💀


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1 month ago

I need more things like this


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9 months ago

I may be a deity by textbook definition, but I still am striving to reach this level of power 😭

I May Be A Deity By Textbook Definition, But I Still Am Striving To Reach This Level Of Power 😭

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7 months ago

I just had the most random thought

What if the OG tale of werewolves was derived from a guy telling a woman she was ‘over exaggerating’ her period pain, so she mauled him to death and left his mangled corpse in the woods-

I Just Had The Most Random Thought

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5 months ago

This.

Yuh 💅

I think at some point in time we need to sit down and start explaining to artist who want to make a career out of art that there are FAR more options than just "living off of commissions" and "posting my art online and praying I get paid for it".


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  • tyhi
    tyhi reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • harkenizalone
    harkenizalone reblogged this · 11 months ago
harkenizalone - Harken/Sylvie
Harken/Sylvie

Shapeshifting Eldritch DeityWriting blog: https://www.tumblr.com/harkentheenigmaPokéblog: https://www.tumblr.com/harkenpokeblog

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