“There’s A Growing List Of Things We’ve Known And Forgotten, Things They’ve Pushed Us To Forget.

Why does everyone keep calling kylo an abuser and manipulator? As someone who has been abused and manipulated her whole life, I can tell you that nothing kylo did was manipulative or abusive

Honestly? This entire fucking movie exists to show you Kylo has NEVER been abusive/manipulative towards Rey. It’s fucking hilarious it flies RIGHT over their heads.

When Rey doesn’t find answers toher parents, and the mirror shows her worst fear to her, being alone, Kylo replies “You’re not alone” instantly?

Kylo waiting patiently for Rey to finish talking and listening to her worries?

Kylo speaking gently with Rey the entire movie, except at the end when he’s desperate for her to go with him?

Instead of Kylo threatening Rey, or telling her in TFA “I can take whatever I want”, begging her “Please”?

Kylo killing his abuser he’s had for 29 years of his life without even having a second thought and without being conflicted at all, to protect Rey, and out of anger that his abuser hurt her?

Kylo never lying to Rey and tells her the honest truth every single conversation they have with each other?

Kylo helping Rey come to the fact her parents won’t come back and she finally lets it go after 10+ years?

WHERE. IS. THE. ABUSE.

THIS ENTIRE MOVIE EXISTS TO SHOW YOU KYLO CARES FOR REY.

Nonnie, I’m sorry to hear about your experiences, I can relate because I’ve also been manipulated and abused most of my life (which is only 16 years) by my father. I can say with the deepest ability, and in the depths of my heart that it’s NOT abuse or manipulation. Everyone bases that currently on the “You’re nothing- but not to me” line because THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO FUCKING USE. And it’s honestly sad because it’s out of context to what it actually means. Whatever, man, fuck these people.

Kylo could literally die saving Rey, and/or the resistance, and say he loves her thousands of times, and these people will still find a way to call it something it isn’t. So, you know what? Fuck ‘em.

I know that it’s delicate…

“Sometimes, you do things and you do them not because you’re thinking but because you’re feeling. Because you’re feeling too much. And you can’t always control the things you do when you’re feeling too much.”

— Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

God knows, too long, you wasted time Lost tears, swore that I’d get out of here

“Always remember this—you weren’t born to fit in, you were born to chase the stars. You were born because you have a purpose and your first task is to find it deep within yourself to eventually fulfill the greatest goal which is becoming who you are. You are similar to a wolf that’s part of the whole wild. There is genius in you, and you are far too breathtakingly beautiful to ask yourself whether or not you are enough. The real question is if you love yourself enough to make yourself feel that you’re worth anything or not. And that question takes a lot of searching. Searching through different mindsets and philosophies on a day to day basis. So many people don’t search and just live life blindly. So please—begin the search. Create your life in the pursuit of excellence. Prove something as you dive into the depths of your lonely fucked up being. Don’t take anything for granted and most important of all: be grateful. Practice it because you are not a stranger here. Just like the flowers giving oxygen to the earth. Just like the sun giving warmth to all creatures. You just have to know and feel the reason as to why you belong. Because this is your home.”

— Juansen Dizon, Wanderer’s Purpose

I wrote twitter meta about the one good thing about this film (Adam Driver’s acting, the PURE character work he did with zero dialogue) because I finally figured out what he was talking about when he said he was using “mask work” with Kylo Ren. He wasn’t playing through a mask only when he wore the helmet, he was acting as if his very FACE was a stoic blank mask he was looking through. That’s why Kylo Ren as a character has such a specific feeling to him, and why the audience instantly responded to Ben Solo, who could show his emotions.

This character was always 100% a young boy hiding behind a mask that hid and disallowed every emotion except for his anger, the only emotion that men are allowed to feel. This character is an exploration of how toxic masculinity harms men. And what miracles can happen for men internally when they embrace emotionality and forgive themselves and use their energy to do good. (I’m crying about him again.)

#BenSoloDeservedBetter

Tbh, all of Ben’s scenes were powerful/meaningful and had me bawling in the thatre today, but I still think they kinda wasted his character, or better, missed a lot of opportunities with him and didn’t handle his story arc well:

-He had little screen time/dialouge (the “No one knows me”/”But I do” bit didn’t even show up??) and barely interacted with characters other than Rey, as well as being directly talked about by the other characters. Would’ve loved a short argument between him and Hux or a heated meeting between him and Finn/Poe to see how their reactions would have changed.

-Leia didn’t mention him while talking to Rey (really missed such a part), didn’t react to his redemption because she was killed off right before, but she also didn’t even do so at all as a force ghost. It’s kinda upsetting to me that she seemed to pay attention to Rey, who is essentially a stranger taking her name, than to her own son redeeming himself and dying for his love.

- Ben’s death is what bugs me the most. I get that it was him making a selfless choice, sacrificing himself for someone he loves rather than a selfish choice against and sacrificing someone he loves like with Han and I appreciate that it was essentially him finding peace and realizing whom he loves most and what makes him happy but… idk it felt so small and unimportant in the context of the movie to me. Partly because he was so isolated from/ignored by the other characters so it only had an impact on Rey, she’s the only one who knows about it and didn’t show much emotion about it to me, especially afterwards.

To add to that I’d say that he’s just kind of… forgotten after his death? It makes me so sad that he struggles, redeems himself, realizes so much, crawls in pain to his love and saves her by giving his own life, actually smiling for the first time in the whole ST and is then never mentioned again? He’s neither mentioned by any of his family members (they are there but just help Rey instead?? Since Han was just a memory/metaphor) nor honored for his redemption and sacrifice by anyone. They could’ve just made a scene where Rey mentions him saving her to anyone, finds his lightsaber and smiles (okay that might be a bit weird but I hope y’all know what I mean), buries his helmet in the desert or makes a gravestone for him or something like that. There seems to be like… no appreciation from her side afterwards which I find so, so sad and pretty ooc for Rey. Honestly made me dislike her a bit in the end.

All this is even fueled by the fact that he just dematerializes instead of simply dying, so there is no burial like with Vader, which would’ve been a moment of intimacy and honor. She could’ve kept his clothes, but probably didn’t, even though that would’ve been sweet.

They didn’t even bother to make him appear as a force ghost goddamnit! That makes me so mad!

It was just Leia and Luke. Just… having him live on with his family in peace as a spirit after all that would’ve given out at least a little bit of hope.

But no. His redemption, sacrifice and death is just kinda glossed over like it was no big deal in the end, as if it hadn’t been such a huge theme in the ST and it’s pretty ironic that Ben got more attention and hopeful support from his family when he was evil than when he was alive and good.

To me it appears that Ben was almost punished for his redemption in a way. Even if he has done terrible things, he just shouldn’t be erased after that, especially not if the focus has always been on his inner conflict anyways.

(Ugh and don’t even get me started on the fact that he didn’t get a happy life with Rey - which they both deserved - or real revenge on Palpatine and that we never got to see his emotions towards Vader…)

I mean, maybe he did imply that it was too late for him to be saved, but I call BS since to me it was just his uncertainty speaking and a parallel to TFA. His princey unmask in TFA even implied that he was still human and that he was still able to be saved. And maybe he didn’t become a force ghost because he lives on with Rey’s soul, but heck, I WANNA SEE STUFF LIKE THAT ON SCREEEN! Not in my mind or the novels or metaphors!

(And am I the only one that feels like chunks of TFA and TLJ were ignored and the Reylo conversations were kinda a bit too… unemotional and too much focused on their parents rather than Rey and Ben? I also had the impression that Rey didn’t have much “real emotion” towards Ben in this movie? Like their love was very one-sided in the final movie?)

That being said, I really do appreciate Ben sacrificing himself for Rey, his smile, their kiss and that whole thing with him coming to peace with his father’s murder, it was beautiful and helped showing that he genuienly loved her, that he was in fact deeply regretting killing Han, and it was completely erasing his “monster”-label in my eyes, but Ben still really shouldn’t have died like that. It’s just not hopeful to me.

Furthermore, I firmly believe that they didn’t kill him off because of Han or because he couldn’t be saved, but because they had to kill off the last Skywalker to close the saga, but still…

His redemption/sacrifice/death had shockingly little impact on the other characters and story and felt very unimportant/meaningless to me. (Which is also my view on Han’s sacrifice - with Ben dying in the end, it sorta felt a lot less meanigful and - I hate to say it - like a waste. Han surely went out there because he wanted his son to live, not to die and be forgotten by everyone)

In the end, I really don’t think that JJ and his team handled the ending of Kylo’s/Ben’s story well. And I’d say that even if I wasn’t a Reylo. Ben could’ve found his peace and payed for his sins without ending like that.

#BenSoloDeservedBetter

The moral of the story is that Ben didn’t kill Luke, didn’t kill Voe, only killed Hennix in self defense, went to the KOR because he felt like he had no other choice and even THEY didn’t really think he belonged there, but were told by Snoke that Ben was powerful in the Dark, so they allowed him to stay.

He grew up around people who feared him, who didn’t understand him or who were jealous of him, but he didn’t hold it against them. In fact, he held back because he knew they wouldn’t understand.

And he tried to save them even when they went after him. Even when they tried to kill him.

And again, all of this has been relegated to comics, which only a very small portion of SW fans will ever read.

#post-TROS mood