I Got Hot Water Directly From The Tap In My Eye It Burs So Much

I hasth purchased cookie dough approximately three nights ago, but, alas, I forgot to keep it refrigerated for I was suffering from an ailment (a cold) and it ended up on my desk for the three days. Unfortunately, it appears there's approximately half of a tube left, and I hate to waste such delicious food. That being said, is this alright to consume?

I shan't be taking constructive criticism unfortunately, my darling friend has already advised me against it, but, it is rather presumptions to assume someone such as I, whomst eats far more peculiar things, shall heed her warnings. With this in mind, I shall eventually conclude whether this was smart decision making, or, in fact, an error on my part.

I think I like women but also I like men but I don't really want engage in amorous congress with a lady but gentlemen have such frightening personalities?? I don't know can somebody please help me with this because I honestly want to hug this one girl I know and gently kiss her but also I like guys too but as I said I don't really want to freak women? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I meant wifi, wife is in fact doing her best

Wife's not working yk what that means

:( dinosaur time

I need to put a shelf up on my wall but for now the only part of my bookshelf with enough space for my picture frame is subsequently also the one where I have all my 'children's books' so you can bet your socks that there is now hatsune miku fanart next to my collection of horrible histories

Arguing with bro and panicking because I'm losing (I effectively stopped all further confrontation by asking if they're anemic mid fight)

Wife's not working yk what that means

:( dinosaur time

The urge to talk with, like, a really victorian sounding vocabulary, and the desire to talk exclusively with um modern?? terms are both within me and they're fighting with swords right now. Most of the time this results in me sounding like a vampire who's been alive since the 1800's and eventually stopped trying to sort out the current slang and now says stuff like "you engaged in amorous congress, my dear bro? That's utterly awesome sauce!" Via text and I think I have to accept that

Father hasth gambled than I shall read a mere eleventeen pages of my lovely light novel. With the knowledge I have severe reading block and have not dared touch this literature for many moons, I have utter confidence that I will read another 51.

Talking about fanfiction with my group chat and everytime they ask what my favourite fanfics for certain ships are I just have to deflect the conversation because my favourite fics just so happen to be written in october and they don't want to match my freak (the freaky little guys make me cry over them for 30+ chapters)

Ahh, how lovely it would be to awaken and be certain of what kind of sustenance I require. Alas, no, I shall stand in the kitchen for half a hour pondering, for no form of nourishment seems appealing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa