Started Reading Tgcf Today And Im Already 200 Pages In 🥹

watched some rory gilmore clips and hopefully i wont hate studying anymore

lets talk about the plane scene in bridon arc, where cheng xiaoshi's sleeping head falls on lu guang's shoulders and lu guang, the man, reaches his hand out to touch his hair. I dont even ship them but just his yearning, trying to feel that yes, he is here. trying to feel the 'there-ness' of CXS. I love them your honor.

Btw stop making lu guang suffer omg

As more and more time passes, I feel more and more attached to the few representations in media we have. Being on a-spec is awesome in its own way, but I only wish if I could see more of it in media. Not because I wanna feel seen. But because I wanna see what future might look like for someone on a-spec who doesn't want any sort of partnership. I saw some posts earlier talking about how a "single" life is extremely hard to sustain in current economy and that's extremely true. I also remember my friend saying "you can always adopt kids! You need someone to look after you in old age!" And... she was somewhat right, in a way. I don't want kids, but... what exactly is my future going to be like? Who is going to be there for me in a world where romantic relationships are prioritized before anything else? Its just all very very... in dark. There is no movie or book to look at and say "hey! Thats the kind of life I want!" Because every single media shows a version of life that isn't for me. I talk to my friends about wanting to live as a "single queer cat lady" but... realistically, how sustainable and possible is that?

What is this.. how.. wha... oh my god. Oh god oh no. Keep cooking.

Just imagine the chaos these three could have caused together...

how to ask the demon you've been smitten over for 6000 years to dance: an angel's guide

bonus:

"No country would ever consider it an act of evil to deny a pig human rights.

Therefore, if you were to define someone speaking a different tongue, someone of a different color, someone of a different heritage as a pig in human form, any oppression, persecution, or atrocity you might inflict upon them would never be regarded as cruel or inhumane."

--Eighty Six, Vol. 1

being a stem major with high love for humanities feels like being in a business marriage with a rich high class wife and having a constant affair with a dark academia mistress

I looked everywhere, the deepest depths of media, mangas, anime. From novels to games. I dived in the darkest depths of ao3 and I have discovered that Luke Pearce and Rosa are the epitome of the "childhood friends, seperated and reunited, to lovers" trope. Fight me. ITS NEVER DONE WELL, THIS TROPE, BUT TOT DOES IT PERFECTLY. FIGHT ME. THE ANGST, THE FLUFF, THE YEARNIG, THE PINING, THE SUNSHINES AND THE DARKNESS- ITS ALL THERE, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT??

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

I know I started reading it at 2 of noon yesterday. I know its not even 10 of morning today. I know my exams are going on-

But I just finished inhaling vol 1 of TGCF and now I have a new hyperfixation.

And all I want to say is, oh xie lian, xie lian- how I wish for there to be more like you.