Page Of Cups

I've been taken to the extremes of my physical strengt and emotional endurance, and at the end of my capacities I have found the abyss.

pitter patter putter patter *you look down and see this*

nothing makes me blush quite like a michael leonard painting

longing // oc

parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound

May I add, I always found weird equalling the RCM with (what I assume is) the American police system, because such an analogy undermines the colonial aspect that pervades the writing of Disco Elysium. The RCM serves as a police body, of course, but it is still in its foundation a Citizens Militia, an (ostensibly) local organization that emerges in the category 5 catasthrope that is the occupation of Revachol by foreign forces. The RCM is formed because no one, (and could be argued, as is done in Disco Elysium!!! not even the RCM itself), can restore a modicum of order in Revachol. It is not a police body that emerges out of a state machinery with the highest security expenditure in the world.

I’ve always disliked the ACAB in the context of DE discourse because I feel it obfuscates motivations of characters like Kim, who voluntarily choose to join the RCM. A man who wears bomber jackets relics of a revolutionary past, yet sympathizes with moralist rhethoric. Kim is not only proudly Revacholian, he also believes in the RCM despite its multiple shortcomings. At the same time Kim suffers more than most the chauvinistic discrimination that usually pervades police bodies. Such contradictory allegiances only make sense in the context of the colonial condition of Kim and of the city of Revachol.

“ACAB”, “the only happy ending should be leaving the RMC”, “you’re a terrible person if you draw/write these characters enjoying the sort of corrupt cop stuff that they canonically do in-game” discourse is killing meeee

God forbid you don’t performatively remind everyone that you do hate cops, actually; and god forbid that you don’t find that True Healing and Happiness for them can only be achieved by leaving the force.

Metas could be written about how Kim and Harry are actually deeply flawed people who enjoy wielding some form of authority in a way that they actually feel best working as cops

(is it healthy? no. is it Good™? no. Is it true to their character? this is where media interpretation comes in)

Metas could be written about how that doesn’t mean ACAB isn’t real, that just means they’re the kind of shitheads (that we, the players, still love) who enjoy being cops

Metas could be written questioning the amount they’d have to change to adapt to a life as civilians, how much and what kind of a push they’d need to go for it,  if it’s change they could even manage, if they could financially survive it, if they could find fulfillment in any other career, at their age

But no. Why waste time on that instead of easy slogans. I mean, we like them, these characters, and we don’t want to feel guilty for liking them, because what does it say about us, then, that we like flawed cops?

(nothing it says nothing it says we played a good nuanced extremely well-written game that skillfully made us like the sort of character whose past actions include sequestering some woman and beating a dude into disability. that’s what it says. i’d even argue that discomfort is part of the point)

i know everyone on this website means well, but if you ask me “which of these characters is sadder/wetter/doing worse in general”, and one of the opinions is harry dubois, you’re kidding yourself if you choose the other one. you’re kidding yourself for even suggesting it. he doesn’t know what the alphabet is. everyone he works with fucking hates him. he routinely threatens to kill himself while doing his job. he got broken up with SIX YEARS AGO and is still on like, day one of the grieving stage. he can die from sitting down in an uncomfortable chair. his clothes are soaked in piss and vomit all the time. as if all that wasn’t enough he’s also a cop like come on guys nobody is doing worse than him, we should just accept he’s an unattainable #1 and start polling for who is in second place