As We Enter A New Year, Take A Moment And Consider The Many Reasons It's Good To Be A Thinking, Feeling

"How to look good in a dress" or, you know, whatever you want to wear!

(I am definitely not the best person to talk about this, but here we are.)

If you like my content, please consider subscribing to my Patreon, or watching on youtube.

I am terrified all the time

I am filled with fear in the face of beautiful things

The most beautiful thing I ever saw has made me the most afraid

And the fear has never left me

— Niina Pollari, from “Megalophobia,” Path of Totality

I've been taken to the extremes of my physical strengt and emotional endurance, and at the end of my capacities I have found the abyss.

Akio Jissoji

- Mandala

1971

Page of Cups

from “ask polly: why should i keep going?”

“As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me? you are completely screwed, because the next question is How Much? and then it is hundreds of hours later, and you are still hunched over your flowcharts and abacus, trying to decide if you have gotten enough. This is the loneliest job in the world: to be an accountant of the heart. It is late at night. You are by yourself, and all around you, you can hear the sounds of people moving in and out of love, pushing the turnstiles, putting their coins in the slots, paying the price which is asked, which constantly changes. No one knows why.”

— Tony Hoagland, “The Loneliest Job in the World”

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.